Separating after 10 years together

kelpie35

No it is not normal, so what are you going to do about it?

OCS_Fan

maman wrote: »

I'd definitely get legal advice.

I'm not sure that as he's living in what is effectively your home and you're not married that courts would be interested in a settlement. It's not as if it's part of a divorce. He's been paying towards bills and rightly helping to support his child but that doesn't necessarily give him a legal claim.

Is renting your only option? If you have plenty of equity couldn't you downsize? I'd think very hard about whether to get off the property ladder and start paying rent or would it be impossible to buy anything near enough for your son to stay at his school?

He has contacted the council to rehouse him as I am making him homeless but they have said that as my name is on the child benefit book, they do not have to count the fact that he is a father who needs to provide a home close to school. I am not making him homeless as such. He is now looking at private rentals.

My current mortgage balance is £124000 but my mortgage term is 26 years. This amount of money would not get me a house in this area or even a 2 bed flat. My son has 2 more years at primary school so he would not lose his place but I still need to drop him and pick him up from his school club everyday as I work full time and a 30-45minute drive away. Before the summer and my partner writing off his car, he dropped him at school club and I picked up but now I dare say I will be doing both ends of the day. I can rent slightly out of catchment though from £650 for a 3 bed house. I'd prefer 3 bedrooms so that I have somewhere for my old kids to stay when home from uni but I could downsize to 2 beds.

OCS_Fan

kelpie35 wrote: »

No it is not normal, so what are you going to do about it?

Try and ignore his pleas for one more chance and his long list of things he does right. He says I'm demonising him and focussing on the bad.

Today he found out that a job for his business came in which will earn him £3000 for 2 weeks work. He was very excited but then used this as a way to persuade me to give him more time to prove he is worthy. He says if he has to move out and start again he cannot take up this offer as he could not deal with our breakup, moving and working while running a business!!!! Also he has no car and would need one to run his business. Who's fault is that?:eek:

OCS_Fan

Just thought I'd post a quick update for all of you out there who posted on my thread and gave me advice.

I had a change of heart a week ago today and agreed to give my OH yet another last chance. By Sunday, I deeply regretted it as I unintentionally discovered yet another betrayal that sent me reeling. He talked his way out of it yet again, and then this Wednesday evening he came home to a letter from the police about his accident. He was in bits trying to cover his drink driving tracks. As liars often do, he slipped up by mentioning that he had in fact been back to 'her' house after accident before walking home. I saw red again. If he'd lied about this then what else had belied about? He was trying to get his story straight about the actual time of the accident and asked me what time he'd called. I suggested he look at his mobile phone bill. Whilst looking at it together, I noticed 20+ texts to the same number - all in the early hours before the crash. He feigned ignorance about who he was texting. I looked forward on bill and saw that the same number had been messaged/called days after - sometimes before he started work, sometimes during his lunch break. Whoever he was calling or texting, he was doing so more than me. The vivid realisation that this was the future if I stayed with my OH dawned painfully clear.
Our relationship is over and this time for good. All I asked for was the truth but he couldn't even give me that.