I really need some advice re feeling low

geoffky

I am just going through this with my 14yrs old..She thinks it is the end of the world..
I have told her she has to go through this maybe five to ten more times before she settles down
,If looks could kill..

the_pink_panther_2

Try OkCupid and POF dating sites. Both free. Should at least help boost your confidence:-)

cazs

Thank you for your replies, they've actually brought me to tears, though I was kind of teary to start with.

It's just one of the worst days of my life I think.

So many regrets, if I could turn back the clock and fix the things that got broken....

I feel like I'm always going to be looking back to days when I'm happy.

I intend to carry on with the gym (particularly given I just joined up a few weeks' back and paid 1yr up front) and if that makes me feel better then so much the better. I don't have a lot of spare time for courses, I quite often have to work late and also on Saturday till mid-afternoon so time limited in terms of time off.

I just miss terribly having that special some-one.

cazs

geoffky wrote: »

I am just going through this with my 14yrs old..She thinks it is the end of the world..
I have told her she has to go through this maybe five to ten more times before she settles down
,If looks could kill..

I wish I were 14 still and this was all a 'playground' thing but it's not sadly. I'm a fully grown woman, just over double your daughter's age but I can tell you it's all real to me.

hieveryone

cazs wrote: »

Thank you for your replies, they've actually brought me to tears, though I was kind of teary to start with.

It's just one of the worst days of my life I think.

So many regrets, if I could turn back the clock and fix the things that got broken....

I feel like I'm always going to be looking back to days when I'm happy.

I intend to carry on with the gym (particularly given I just joined up a few weeks' back and paid 1yr up front) and if that makes me feel better then so much the better. I don't have a lot of spare time for courses, I quite often have to work late and also on Saturday till mid-afternoon so time limited in terms of time off.

I just miss terribly having that special some-one.

Why look back?? Why not look forward to days when you will be happy?

How long was this relationship? And how long ago did it end? I'm not saying you should be happy and ok but please do not let yourself wallow for too long.

The ultimate sign of a confident, happy woman is being able to be dignified and hold your head up high, not mope about after a man.

And P.S you DO have that special someone - you have YOU!!

geoffky

cazs wrote: »

I wish I were 14 still and this was all a 'playground' thing but it's not sadly. I'm a fully grown woman, just over double your daughter's age but I can tell you it's all real to me.

It is very real to her..She is heartbroken and in tears..

the_pink_panther_2

You WILL find someone, they'll be better:) You'll be happier and then wonder how you considered you were happy with someone who wasn't pleasant to you.

meritaten

I know it feels like the end of the world - but it isn't. I do not believe that out of the millions of people in the world ..........only one is 'right' for a person. this one is lost to you so grieve hun. and that is right, but don't grieve forever. there are more 'someones' out there - if you give them a chance.

System

Oh OP, have a *hug*

Your post really struck a chord with me, as i could have written exactly the same when i split with my ex. It took me 8 months to sort myself out. But in those 8 months, i learned a lot. I looked back t the realtionship, for the first time without rose tinted specs, and i saw all the bad stuff that for one reason or another, i'd ignore when we were together. I saw how unhappy i'd really been (nd what a !!!! he was :mad: ). I had to see him happy with someone else, after us going "on a break", after us still acting like a couple, still thinking i had a chance. I did some stupid things to try and win him back. BUT i started to get past that.

About 5/6 months after one day, i realised i didn't love him anymore. And my god, i felt so..free. It was my turning point. I started to throw myself into seeing friends, enjoying myself, being more like the old me (before i met him). And eventually foryaed into online dating, where after about 2 months i met my now bf (who i've been with for just over a year now). I never thought that would happen, but it seems when i finally started being happy in myself, that was the right time.

I'm happier now than i ever was with my ex, but it took time and you need to look after yourself in this time. It won't be all plain sailing, you'll have ups and downs, but in time you will find yourself, and you'll find the happiness you deserve.

Netwizard

Like others have said, why look back. You said in your opening post that he was sometimes quite nasty. Why settle for that?

If I were you OP, be happy that some other !!!!!! has to put up with him now rather than you.

In time, you will sort yourself out and move on. You have had some very helpful advice in this thread already, so chin up Onwards and upwards.