Death of a family friend - advice needed

bylromarha

So sorry for your loss - just wondering how it went OP?

Did you take anything or not?

Personally, I'd have just been there and not taken anything for the boy. Acknowledge the death with him - choose words carefully. His dad isn't asleep or lost so don't use those words as lost things can be found and people asleep wake up.

Give time and listen to Mum. Just be there for her. And her son. And give her ideas on specifics on how you can help her now and in the future. Saying "just let me know how I can help" will not really be heard and acted upon, but "I can come with you to keep your son amused while you register the death/talk to the funeral director" or "I can pop to Tesco and get you a few bits" and specifics like that can help her carry on dealing with the bigger stuff.

rozmister

aileth wrote: »

I agree with this. A friend of mine's dad died when we were in the last year of primary school and I remember him saying how he felt that people were giving him more attention and actually talking to him now his dad had died and how that made him feel worse, like people only cared for him because something tragic happened, and the teachers actually told pupils that knew him that he wanted to carry on like normal, like nothing had happened.

I remember him coming to the school gates after the funeral to see his friends (he lived opposite the school) and a huge crowd gathered around him and I can vividly recollect his face and how he couldn't escape quickly enough.

The hotpots are brilliant ideas, cook a batch up and put it in some tupperware to freeze.

I completely relate to that feeling. I've blocked out quite a lot of the first few months after my Dad died, I have very little memory of things other than really significant things but I do remember all the kids at school suddenly wanted to be my friend and wanted me on their games team - they were only trying to be kind but I didn't want attention on me I just wanted to blend in and pretend it wasn't happening for a little while!

I digress anyway OP I hope your visit went well xxx