Why are people not willing to talk about money?

Kayalana99

I think I am mostly like my Dad, and he has always been very open with money and probally alittle to keen to tell me everything thats going on.

With this in mind, I've been brought up being very open with money and I have been finding more and more that 95% of people have no idea about how to handle money and won't even talk about it! (I think although that is my opinion it won't apply to this fourm as I would think the people on here are more likey to me money savvy )

Yesterday a girl told me she wanted to get a morgage but had no idea how to go about it... natually (to me) asked how much deposit she had in which she looked at me complety gone out so I asked her if that was cheeky question and she said yes very and refused to talk about it anymore...

I know a couple that are in debt, but are unwilling to share thier problems (and not to be big headed but I really think I could help them out here) yet same time they won't even tell you what income there on and unwilling to seek help even to a professional. (And recently I have found that they aren't really even talking to each other about it seems one hardly knows what the other has spare and vice versa)

More and more people are getting into debt but I feel if people were willing to talk about money and get more financially educated then we'd all be better off...

I know this will come up that people don't want to be seen to be 'worse off' then others - but to be blunt me and my OH are working but not earning alot (23k ish between us) so we can basicly afford a home and thats us and maj of people I know are in alot better postions so its not like that would be an issue.

Personally, I just can't see what the big hush up is about!

Jennifer_Jane

I agree with you. I used to be a financial advisor (in another Country) and am used to getting to grips with some pretty personal questions right from the start! When I arrived back to this Country, I asked someone how much their house had sold for, only to be told that this was not a suitable question. This despite the fact that house prices are published eventually anyway.

I agree with your points, and I would even go so far as to wonder why (or rather who it suits best) salary information is kept so quiet! We know Directors' details, but not other peoples'. I've always been completely open about anything like that.

In my last Company we all knew the salary spectrum for each grade, and we mostly knew what grade people were on.

If I had been the person you were speaking to, I would simply have told you. Especially if you know so little about how to go about things that you are asking someone for help.

I'm with you all the way!

DUTR

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I think I am mostly like my Dad, and he has always been very open with money and probally alittle to keen to tell me everything thats going on.

With this in mind, I've been brought up being very open with money and I have been finding more and more that 95% of people have no idea about how to handle money and won't even talk about it! (I think although that is my opinion it won't apply to this fourm as I would think the people on here are more likey to me money savvy )

Yesterday a girl told me she wanted to get a morgage but had no idea how to go about it... natually (to me) asked how much deposit she had in which she looked at me complety gone out so I asked her if that was cheeky question and she said yes very and refused to talk about it anymore...

I know a couple that are in debt, but are unwilling to share thier problems (and not to be big headed but I really think I could help them out here) yet same time they won't even tell you what income there on and unwilling to seek help even to a professional. (And recently I have found that they aren't really even talking to each other about it seems one hardly knows what the other has spare and vice versa)

More and more people are getting into debt but I feel if people were willing to talk about money and get more financially educated then we'd all be better off...

I know this will come up that people don't want to be seen to be 'worse off' then others - but to be blunt me and my OH are working but not earning alot (23k ish between us) so we can basicly afford a home and thats us and maj of people I know are in alot better postions so its not like that would be an issue.

Personally, I just can't see what the big hush up is about!

I sort of can do, the person getting the mortgage should already be aware of deposits n stuff otherwise the maybe better off not getting an agreement, that sort of thing we done in maths at school. Sometimes I wondered how folk seemed to be 'doing all right' on certain types of work, but years later found out why they were doing so well....CREDIT, me personally I don't like any kind of credit that I cannot settle at the end of the month, but some do not mind sailing close to the wind or that they have no choice to live so.

browneyedbazzi

I think a lot of people feel that their income and how they choose to spend it is very personal information and not anyone else's business.

I'm fairly money savy (although I wasn't always) and live within my means but don't talk about it much and I would feel odd doing so. I'd also find it quite rude if someone who wasn't a very close friend or family member asked me questions about my income/savings or how I spend my money.

FBaby

My friends and I speak quite openly about money, maybe not in the detail of actual figures, but about our investment plans, provide advice on whether to rent or sale a property, about the cost of our mortgages etc... There are a few friends I wouldn't be totally comfortable having this discussion with, but they are the minority.

I talk totally openly about finances with my family and my children. It's never been a taboo subject.

tea_lover

It's no one else's business. I'm happy talking about finances within my family, but why would anyone else need to know? If a friend asked me about salary, savings, deposits etc. I'd find that very rude.

DUTR

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

I think a lot of people feel that their income and how they choose to spend it is very personal information and not anyone else's business.

I'm fairly money savy (although I wasn't always) and live within my means but don't talk about it much and I would feel odd doing so. I'd also find it quite rude if someone who wasn't a very close friend or family member asked me questions about my income/savings or how I spend my money.

tea_lover wrote: »

It's no one else's business. I'm happy talking about finances within my family, but why would anyone else need to know? If a friend asked me about salary, savings, deposits etc. I'd find that very rude.

When you both say Family, I'm thinking siblings and or parents? Either way, unless it's a spouse then for me it's nobody's business and even when I do attempt to seek any 'advice' the listener usually wants to spend the money for you :eek:

Netwizard

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I know this will come up that people don't want to be seen to be 'worse off' then others.

Personally, I just can't see what the big hush up is about!

I think this sums it up quite well. People dont want to be seen as poor, especially compared to friends / family / neighbours.

I think sometimes its almost seen as a competition. See who can have the best holidays, nicest cars, best smartphone etc. You only have to look at things like facebook, people putting up their holiday snaps and pictures of their new cars, almost painting a life of perfection and happiness for friends / family looking in from the outside.

Most of my friends / family know what I earn. Its no big secret. Some friends earn more than me, some earn less than me. I dont feel the need to "keep up" with people. My car is 17 years old, my phone cost £30 and most of my clothes are from asda / tesco.

Far too many people worry about how others see them. Personally, I couldnt give two hoots, im happy enough in my 17 year old motor in my scruffs. People judging me from the outside would probably think I live on the breadlime, but as the saying goes, dont judge a book by its cover :beer:

gingin_2

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Yesterday a girl told me she wanted to get a morgage but had no idea how to go about it... natually (to me) asked how much deposit she had in which she looked at me complety gone out so I asked her if that was cheeky question and she said yes very and refused to talk about it anymore...


Personally, I just can't see what the big hush up is about!

I think it would be more diplomatic to ask what percentage deposit she has if you wanted to help, as that is more important than the actual figure. I would have been a bit put out by the question, too.

I don't discuss finances with anyone other than my husband - not my parents, not my friends. I find it sensitive because we all have such varying levels of money (or lack of) in my social group it just doesn't seem appropriate and it makes no difference to that side of my life anyway. My parents were the same way.

Hermia

I think it's because people can be quite nasty about money in this country. Some of my family comes from India and people are more open there, but doing well financially is seen as a sign that you are hard-working and successful. It's something to admire. I will talk about money in a general sense, but I won't give figures. I don't earn a huge amount, but I do earn more than some of my friends and I know I would get some "it's alright for you" type comments if people knew my salary. I already get some nasty looks if I ever say I can't afford something. I have a few friends who have been open about their salary/price paid for their house/how much they have in savings/inheritance and they have had to endure lots of snarky remarks.

BitterAndTwisted

People who aren't very savvy about money or have got themselves into debt aren't always proud of it, and discussing this with those outside their families risk being patronised by outsiders, most especially those who crow about being savvy themselves.

How other people organise their finances or what they earn is no-one else's business but their own.

Personally I have no interest in other people's financial arrangements and would be very offended if they chose to assume that I'd welcome their intrusion into mine.