Why are people not willing to talk about money?

cod3

Yesterday a girl told me she wanted to get a morgage but had no idea how to go about it... natually (to me) asked how much deposit she had in which she looked at me complety gone out so I asked her if that was cheeky question and she said yes very and refused to talk about it anymore...

I think in this situation, if the girl was looking for advice, then it was a fair question.

geoffky

True_Blue wrote: »

I think most people see being in debt as a failure, and not willing to discuss it. But truth is, most people are in debt. The country is geared up to run on debt.

But it takes a lot for people to realise what being in debt does to people..
It wrecks lives and relationships if it becomes a strain on the relationship,
Getting just a bit out of your depth will do that as so many are going to find out when interest rates rise to normal levels of 5% or 6%.
It is so easy to get into debt but getting out of it is hard work.

burnoutbabe

Its quite refreshing sometimes to be out with a group of people who are all on the same sort of salary and you can discuss savings and investments without pretending to be dead broke and living payday to payday.

Turtle

I'd be a bit taken aback if someone asked me how much I had in the bank :rotfl:and I wouldn't be answering that question.

I have one friend that I talk very openly with about finances as we're both trying to plan for early retirement (though she is much close to it than we are) but that's it.

To be honest I'd love to know what my friends financial situations are because I'm nosey and because I'd like to know how we compare. But I'd never ask, because I wouldn't want anyone to ask me.

busiscoming2

Netwizard wrote: »

I think this sums it up quite well. People dont want to be seen as poor, especially compared to friends / family / neighbours.

I think sometimes its almost seen as a competition. See who can have the best holidays, nicest cars, best smartphone etc. You only have to look at things like facebook, people putting up their holiday snaps and pictures of their new cars, almost painting a life of perfection and happiness for friends / family looking in from the outside.

Most of my friends / family know what I earn. Its no big secret. Some friends earn more than me, some earn less than me. I dont feel the need to "keep up" with people. My car is 17 years old, my phone cost £30 and most of my clothes are from asda / tesco.

Far too many people worry about how others see them. Personally, I couldnt give two hoots, im happy enough in my 17 year old motor in my scruffs. People judging me from the outside would probably think I live on the breadlime, but as the saying goes, dont judge a book by its cover :beer:

Snap! I am amazed by the number of people who need to 'keep up' I know people who earn much more than us but still they don't seem satisfied with what they have.

I've always been open with my kids, so hopefully they don't get into the wrong kind of debt.

beluga

I'll quite happily talk to friends about money, but not figures. I'll discuss interest rates, where we got our mortgage from etc, but no one knows how much we earn or how much we spend. This is mainly because I find it causes resentment. We're very fortunate, so although we're not loaded we live quite comfortably and are able to do a lot more than many of our friends. I'm also very good at hunrting out deals, so our money goes even further and people assume we spend more than we do.
Without knowing we have savings, some people already make nasty comments or expect us to foot more than our share of the bill. I'm not going to discuss my finances with people so that they can use it against me! If the subject does come up, I'll happily tell people how to get better rates, where to shop for good deals etc, but most people aren't interested.

System

At home finances were always a very private thing. Even now at 26 i hve no idea how much my dad earns, when he filled in the student loan forms he didnt let me see what he'd put. And i'd never discuss my finances with my parents either. Heck i was reluctant to let my bf know more than he needed to (we don't live together) I was just brought up to think of it as a private thing.

As a result i left home for uni and quickly found myself in debt..which i'm still in 7 years later

jtr2803

As someone who has gone from being flat broke and on a DMP for 5 years to someone who is able to have 3 holidays a year, I'm always happy to talk about my experiences/finances to others (Edited to add - only where it *may* be appropriate and wanted)

Trouble is, be too open and you start getting accused or bragging/boasting about how much you earn.

You can't win either way.

kettlefish

I don't talk about money because I get cross with the amount of people who tell me I've "landed on my feet" or "done really well". My husband had a large inheritance as he lost both his parents when he was a teenager. Consequently we don't have a mortgage and could buy our house outright all over again with what we have in the bank.

I don't want to be seen as a gold-digger (when we met and fell in love, as far as I knew he was a skint, unemployed 23-year-old living very much hand to mouth, as depression and denial had meant he hadn't been able to face sorting out the Wills) and the "lucky" comments still upset him. Obviously we'd both rather be skint and have his parents around to share in the joy of our wonderful marriage and lovely DD.

So I guess that'd boil down to it being nowt to do with anyone else, as well as wanting to avoid lengthy discussions about how we could have a better house/car/holiday if we spent what was in the bank.

I will happily discuss things like Wills (so important), insurance policies and big ticket purchases, though.

kettlefish

marisco wrote: »

In reverse to the above I keep things private due to the strong financial position I am in for my age. I want those who choose to be part of my life to know me for who I am, not what I have. Materialistic things mean nothing to me and I am not one for trying to 'keep up' with others. That is a fools game that brings no contentment or happiness to people long term. I also cant stand those who display false images of their lives on facebook. That wreaks of insecurity to me.

I don't crave the latest gadgets, drive a flash car, wear designer clothes or eat out at expensive restaurants. I have got to where I am so I can enjoy a really good quality of life and be there as much as possible for my children. The only indulgence we have is that I travel with them a lot. This was always very important to me and I want them to have wonderful experiences to look back on. We don't stay in 5 star hotels though, you don't experience a country and absorb a culture in the same way by doing that.

I could have written this post. Our luxuries are travel. And I supposeour financial position means I can be a Sahm while our children are small.