A carer for the day

jen1301

Hoping someone might be able to help....not even sure if this kind of thing exists.

My Grandad has dementia and has recently had to go into a residential home as my Nan just couldn't cope any more. (They are both in their 80's)

It's horrible that it has come to this but It's nice home and he seems very happy in there.

Anyway..I'm getting married in November and it would feel awful to leave him out. I don't want my Nan to have to 'cope with him' for the day and It wouldn't be fair to put the pressure of looking after him on any other family members as I think they wouldn't be able to enjoy the day themselves.

Is is possible to hire carers for the day or even just for the church service? It would mean the world to just be able to have him there and include him in a few photos.

I've done a quick search on google but didn't find anything.

Thanks

Molly41

Ask the home if they can suggest someone ?

Fosterdog

It's worth asking the staff at the home he is in, at least that way it would be someone he knows and someone who knows him.

When my great aunt attended a family gathering one of the staff came with her. Although we were all family and would have happily looked after her she got very easily confused and scared due to her dementia and the staff at the home knew exactly how to handle it without scaring and upsetting her too much.

Luckily she had a very good day and apart from mistaking some of us with our parents she didn't get too confused and really enjoyed herself

jen1301

We've spoken to the home and they weren't very helpful to be honest. They said that their staff don't do 'outings' and that it is our responsibility to arrange something. We just want a bit of extra support on the day as as much as we all love him, his condition is difficult to deal with. Thanks for the replies.

Counting_Pennies_2

There are many care agencies out there, often independent so not national ones to suggest to you. As others have said it might be worth asking the care home for suggestions and if they don't have anyone perhaps speak with Social Services and ask their advice.

My other thoughts are to ask how severe his dementia is. Can he recognise you, place you and your soon to be husband? Will he be able to remember everyone there?

The concern I have is it might unsettle him. For some seeing relatives close and not so can be reassuring, but if his dementia is severe it might make him agitated and unsettle the whole event for everyone including himself.

jen1301

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

There are many care agencies out there, often independent so not national ones to suggest to you. As others have said it might be worth asking the care home for suggestions and if they don't have anyone perhaps speak with Social Services and ask their advice.

My other thoughts are to ask how severe his dementia is. Can he recognise you, place you and your soon to be husband? Will he be able to remember everyone there?

The concern I have is it might unsettle him. For some seeing relatives close and not so can be reassuring, but if his dementia is severe it might make him agitated and unsettle the whole event for everyone including himself.

Hi, thanks for your reply. I have thought this myself. He has good days and bad but mostly, he doesn't know who anyone is really. He loves being around people though. We all visit him a lot. I think he does recognise us, he just can't place who we are. I just don't know how 'Id feel on the day knowing we'd left him out of it all.

Carrot34

There are a lot of care agencies who can provide support. The agency would be willing to provide a 1 off support but may want to do a risk assessment first (just to safeguard your granddad and carer).
Put "care agencies in xx" into google then call around.

Alternatively you could speak to the Alzheimer's society for advice on specific carers/care agencies in your area that can support.

I work in adult social service and know its tough but they will help with your request.

Mojisola

Carrot34 wrote: »

There are a lot of care agencies who can provide support. The agency would be willing to provide a 1 off support but may want to do a risk assessment first (just to safeguard your granddad and carer).
Put "care agencies in xx" into google then call around.

Alternatively you could speak to the Alzheimer's society for advice on specific carers/care agencies in your area that can support.

I work in adult social service and know its tough but they will help with your request.

It's a shame that the home won't allow one of their carers to take the job because it would be easier with someone who knows him.

Have you considered having him just for a few hours in the day - the whole day might well be too much for him.

charlieismydarling

Where do you live? Someone might be able to recommend a carer.

jen1301

Mojisola wrote: »

It's a shame that the home won't allow one of their carers to take the job because it would be easier with someone who knows him.

Have you considered having him just for a few hours in the day - the whole day might well be too much for him.

Yes, I did say in my first post that I would be more than happy to just have him at the church service and to be able to involve him in a few photos :-) thanks

heartbreak_star

What a lovely granddaughter you are I hope you can sort something out!

HBS x