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£214 for antenatal class...eek!

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  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
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    edited 5 August 2013 at 8:05AM
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    If they didn't want the c-section, yes they could. Most wouldn't, of course, but actually the choice is the labouring mother's, not the midwives/consultants/doula/whoever happens to be around. They should be giving accurate advice, not forcing hands.

    My midwife told me that unless I was induced (at 12 days "overdue") my baby would die. This while I was actually in slow labour. At the time I was horrified, frightened and pushed into induction and a very medicalised hospital birth that was a million times removed from the calm home water birth I wanted. To make it worse most of their equipment was faulty meaning that DD appeared to be "in distress" when actually there was nothing wrong at all.

    A due date is a guess anyway. The midwife lied to my face about me being in labour, and instead used horrible shock tactics to get me into hospital where she wanted me. In reality, had she left me alone I probably would have had DD naturally within the week. I have PTSD, plus physical issues that are still unresolved almost 3 years later as a result of her poor practice. I'm fully supportive of those working in maternity services, but ultimately it should never be anything but a woman's choice.

    My babies were dying (at 7 weeks prem), their hearbeats were stopping, one had a compressed cord, one had his cord around his neck, I wasn't going to argue the toss with anyone about my right to choose whether or not to have that c-section.

    Which brings us full circle back to the 'lovely' leader at my local NCT class who told me what an awful shame it was that I hadn't given birth, implying that I had failed my babies and how she really didn't want to rent me a breast pump if I wasn't committed to 100% BM feeding, ignoring the fact that when they were born I had no milk so it was tube feed them formula or starve.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • dizziblonde
    dizziblonde Posts: 4,276 Forumite
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    There's no way I'd have paid out for NCT classes - I don't agree with the heavy agenda pushing they still seem to do locally to us and some of the stories of bullying and shoving women out of the "clique" that I've heard if they ended up having c-sections or bottle feeding are just blooming awful. I can't be doing with all the competitive mummy crap. I think the organisation really needs to weed out a lot of very vile, opinionated, bullying of women who don't have the "aspirational" childbirth experience in order to be taken seriously and until then - screw 'em - I don't support them in any way.

    I did our local NHS ones - found them flipping pointless - it was all "wooooo here are the forceps - aren't they scary"... "here's the epidural needle... isn't it scary" junk and the breastfeeding one consisted of someone shoving a DVD (from about the 1980s judging by the mullets on show) on and vanishing to make herself a cup of tea.

    Now the NCT warriors will be along to shout that the incidents people have mentioned didn't possibly happen.
    Little miracle born April 2012, 33 weeks gestation and a little toughie!
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
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    I don't doubt for one second that there are people within the NCT who are horribly militant about all of that. Ditto the NHS. IMO the aim of both organisations should be to inform and facilitate the best possible birth experience for each individual. Unfortunately that's not possible/likely in a machine as massive as the NHS, and the NCT can tend to ram the alternative viewpoint somewhat.

    On a different day I could have had a totally different birth experience - so much depends on chance and who is on shift when. I'd have had a lot less discomfort had their blimmin equipment been checked before they used it on me (trace machine and clip on DD's head).
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • LannieDuck
    LannieDuck Posts: 2,359 Forumite
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    I had a great experience with NCT, but then I had a very good course leader.

    The biggest benefits for me were the confidence in knowing that my OH had attended the course and was aware of what to expect so that he could be my advocate if necessary (it was, infact - I was totally out of it on pethidine for a while). Knowing that he was keeping an eye on everything made me a lot more relaxed.

    And secondly, the friends we made. I think that's often cited as one of the biggest advantages, that you get to know other parents-to-be locally to you who are giving birth at the same time. It was really exciting when the first member of our group gave birth, and we all shared photos over e-mail as each new little baby arrived :) We met up just about every week while on maternity leave and shared information about the various baby groups we'd been to. We still meet up now, but less frequently now we're all back at work.

    We did have the option of NHS classes in our area, but I can't comment on them as I didn't go.
    Mortgage when started: £330,995

    “Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
    Arthur C. Clarke
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
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    I don't doubt for one second that there are people within the NCT who are horribly militant about all of that. Ditto the NHS. IMO the aim of both organisations should be to inform and facilitate the best possible birth experience for each individual. Unfortunately that's not possible/likely in a machine as massive as the NHS, and the NCT can tend to ram the alternative viewpoint somewhat.

    Lol, what we actually need is the equivalent of the Humanist Society for birthing to give a balanced view somewhere between the NHS (athesist) and NCT (zealots)


    On a different day I could have had a totally different birth experience - so much depends on chance and who is on shift when. I'd have had a lot less discomfort had their blimmin equipment been checked before they used it on me (trace machine and clip on DD's head).

    That is very true, the agency midwife attending me tried to tell me the awful tugging sensation was just a contraction that I was feeling because my epidural had worn off. Luckily she got a second opinion.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • themull1
    themull1 Posts: 4,299 Forumite
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    Ive got two kids and never bothered with antenatal classes, i didnt even bother with a birth plan, i prefer fear of the unknown! And i hadn't even held a baby until i had my first one at 29. I was fine without the classes, a lot of it is common sense.
  • suejb2
    suejb2 Posts: 1,918 Forumite
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    I didn't have any classes for my 2 I prefer The Ignorance is Bliss approach.
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
  • NoAngel
    NoAngel Posts: 778 Forumite
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    We've just done our first NCT class, we have the second one in a few weeks. The other couples there are very friendly and I feel that some of us will keep in touch which is nice as I don't know any other Mums in the area. I moved to the area too late to join the NHS ones as they were fully booked.

    I found the class to be very informative, got given lots of information about all of the options available for the birth. We paid £150 for the classes which I feels expensive, but worth it for us. To be honest if I'd not been I'm sure there's nothing I couldn't have found out online or from friends/family.
  • Stoodles
    Stoodles Posts: 815 Forumite
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    I did NCT classes over 25 years ago. For me there were two big planned advantages - that they happened in the evenings so OH could attend, whereas in those days NHS classes were day times only as they expected women not to be working, and they gave us the chance to repeatedly practice the breathing.

    There were two more unexpected benefits. Baby was very prem, and arrived before I'd been to the NHS classes. Because he was so early, the doctors were keen to avoid any pain relief that coud affect his breathing or alertness, and having the NCT breathing there to rely on meant I could manage without any drugs.

    I'd say, though, that in the end, it's most important to do what suits you as as mum(to be).
  • Metranil_Vavin
    Metranil_Vavin Posts: 5,025 Forumite
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    I did NCT classes too and found them great. I think it's down to the group itself, and the class leader. Ours was very non-millitant and all for a 'whatever works for you' approach.

    I also made some excellent friends who's support during the first few months was invaluable. I really struggled with the baby blues and knowing there was always someone around to have a coffee/chat/cry with was what made the whole experience of the NCT worth it. We are still all friends, and although some have already gone on to have their second (and even third) children and we don't see each other as regularly, we get together and in fact I had a lovely pregnancy massage paid for me earlier today courtesy of my NCT girls.

    I'm due my 2nd baby in about 2 weeks and this time I haven't bothered with any antenatal classes as I don't feel I need them now, but the £300 odd I spent on my NCT classes (I am in London) was money well spent IMHO.
    Metranil dreams of becoming a neon,
    You don't even take him seriously,
    How am I going to get to heaven?,
    When I'm just balanced so precariously..
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