Am I being unreasonable.....???

redwineguzzler

My Daughter-in-Law of 9 years is a free lance hairdresser, and in all this time, I have generally gone to a salon, along with me putting home colours on my hair, although she has trimmed my fringe when she has been around the house for me.

Having started to go grey in last couple of years, I asked DIL if she would do me some highlights to try and blend the grey...... fast forward 3 weeks she did do it although a little begrudgingly I thought.........

Once finished she then said that'll be £35 for the pleasure! Now I know I expected to pay for the materials, but even I know that the products didn't cost that much....

This is a DIL who comes here for Sunday lunches etc, 'tells us' she's ordered some furniture and she's having it delivered to our house as she's somewhere else doing hair etc......... anyway the whole thing has turned into a stupid row.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling a bit peeved?

notanewuser

redwineguzzler wrote: »

My Daughter-in-Law of 9 years is a free lance hairdresser, and in all this time, I have generally gone to a salon, along with me putting home colours on my hair, although she has trimmed my fringe when she has been around the house for me.

Having started to go grey in last couple of years, I asked DIL if she would do me some highlights to try and blend the grey...... fast forward 3 weeks she did do it although a little begrudgingly I thought.........

Once finished she then said that'll be £35 for the pleasure! Now I know I expected to pay for the materials, but even I know that the products didn't cost that much....

This is a DIL who comes here for Sunday lunches etc, 'tells us' she's ordered some furniture and she's having it delivered to our house as she's somewhere else doing hair etc......... anyway the whole thing has turned into a stupid row.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling a bit peeved?

No. Stop enabling her.

theoretica

I do think she might have said before hand - but it is a difficult situation. I do know that I, personally, will happily go out of my way for family and friends in matters which I do not do professionally, but prefer to keep my professional and personal life separate. I imagine if you are a hairdresser it gets a bit old being asked to do people's hair when you are trying to make a living out of it - but being asked to weed the garden might be a different matter.

redwineguzzler

theoretica wrote: »

I do think she might have said before hand - but it is a difficult situation. I do know that I, personally, will happily go out of my way for family and friends in matters which I do not do professionally, but prefer to keep my professional and personal life separate. I imagine if you are a hairdresser it gets a bit old being asked to do people's hair when you are trying to make a living out of it - but being asked to weed the garden might be a different matter.

I guess, a bit like you I don't mind doing anything for family & friends, and naively thought as I was her MIL, she really wouldn't mind.......... OR if she didn't want to do it, I would have much preferred her to say so in the beginning, now she's just huffy and refusing to speak to us ........ give me strength!!!

plainsie

Yeah you are right. She is being selfish. I would expect to pay for the dyes and stuff used but not for her service. You do favours for her and she should be grateful and try to help you.

**professor~yaffle**

My mum is a hairdresser and I'm sure she wouldn't charge that to a family member. With hindsight it might have been better to go by your instinct that for whatever reason she wasn't overly enthusiastic about doing it.

I guess the phrase never mix business and family springs to mind.

Hope it all blows over soon. (and obviously don't even consider asking her to do your hair again :eek:)

redwineguzzler

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

My mum is a hairdresser and I'm sure she wouldn't charge that to a family member. With hindsight it might have been better to go by your instinct that for whatever reason she wasn't overly enthusiastic about doing it.

I guess the phrase never mix business and family springs to mind.

Hope it all blows over soon. (and obviously don't even consider asking her to do your hair again :eek:)

Back to the salon again in the future for me.......... although it's going to smack a bit, when she asks for favours again!

moromir

It really depends how you did the asking, for example, had it been me, I might have said,

"Hi DIL, I really want to cover up some of this grey, is there any chance you would help me if I pay for the dyes and throw in lunch?"

That way everyone knows where they stand it would have given her the opportunity to say look, I'm really sorry but I can't give up an appointment slot right now, we need the money, could you throw in £20 for my time?

Arguement avoided

Parisian

Yes, she's being ridiculous.
Pay her the £35 she wants now, but then never ever ever ever allow her to deliver to your house again, or give her any slack.
This really bothers me for some reason - I can't believe she did that, so so bad!

redwineguzzler

moromir wrote: »

It really depends how you did the asking, for example, had it been me, I might have said,

"Hi DIL, I really want to cover up some of this grey, is there any chance you would help me if I pay for the dyes and throw in lunch?"

That way everyone knows where they stand it would have given her the opportunity to say look, I'm really sorry but I can't give up an appointment slot right now, we need the money, could you throw in £20 for my time?

Arguement avoided

Hi, It was actually discussed on a Sunday afternoon, and at the time she seemed happy to do it, all she asked was that I cover the cost of the products...... In hindsight I should have asked her there and then how much, I must add I was very happy and willing to pay for the products.........

redwineguzzler

Parisian wrote: »

Yes, she's being ridiculous.
Pay her the £35 she wants now, but then never ever ever ever allow her to deliver to your house again, or give her any slack.
This really bothers me for some reason - I can't believe she did that, so so bad!

She has been paid already...... I just let her know that I thought she was being very unreasonable with the cost, I certainly don't want the money back, it's just the cheek of it all now! but now she's got the huff big time....... she even sent our son round to us to let us know SHE was upset and that's what the products cost, so the following day (just in case I was in the wrong) nipped into the wholesalers to check it out for my own piece of mind, totally ripped off......