Do you tell someone you love them

mrcow

blueybug wrote: »

I was in love with someone...... he never said he was in love with me and I was too chicken to tell him. I married the wrong person and 5 days after i married he then told me he loved me.

Cut a long story short............... i'm now divorcing that person to the one man Ive only ever loved and in Oct next year we are getting married.


Things are best said. You can never go back

But your entire post is about how you DID go back?

hazyjo

I'd drop it in lightly. Next time you're having a laugh, or sharing something, I'd say something like 'I don't 'alf love you' while laughing. They might not pick up on it, but the seed will be sown.

Next time the opportunity presents itself, maybe invent a little porky and say the person you live with is on their first hot date in X number of years. Okay, so probably not true (involve other friend if they know how you feel about this person/don't involve them if they're never likely to cross paths in the immediate future with the person you like).

See if anything changes between you after that...

If not, at least it's something they might have thought about and won't come as such a shock.

On one hand, I want to say life's too short and go for it. On the other, rejection can be the saddest thing.

I did like someone at work for a while. VERY good friends. Always gravitate towards each other at work dos, fire drills(!), Christmas party, etc. Rarely talk to others in fact. Sit giggling and chatting all night. We often chat at my desk. Everyone at works said we should be together and would wind us up, sometimes to our faces. There used to be a bit of flirting too.

Several years on, during one of our drinks as friends (just us two), we kissed after (this was like a half hour snog-marathon back in 2008). He said something like 'so if I asked you to meet up again, what would you be up for that...' and I said yes. He suggested a day the following week, and I accepted. I had to to text the next day when I realised it clashed with a concert my friend was taking me to (over £80 tickets) and suggested the day after. He was very vague at best, and I immediately sensed something was wrong. He then broke down over the course of the week and said (we had the conversation when I was in a restaurant at the o2 with my friend) he hadn't had a relationship for a very long time, had got used to life on his own, and was selfish in that he liked to spend time doing things he wanted and he'd got too used to things as they are.

We're still very good friends. Nothing much has changed - we're actually out together tomorrow night (although we barely spoke for several months after - I went out back out with someone and jumped straight into another disastrous relationship after that). We still sit together at the Christmas party and talk all night when out. People still think something has gone on/is going on between us. They still tell me when he's not around that we should be together. Something clicks, but maybe it is and always was just good friendship.

Things can end up how they were, so long as you let time heal. Still see them if they turn you down, even if it is stilted and awkward. I don't regret it, cos at least I know now. Well, actually, I say that, but I'm pretty sure he fancies me and feels exactly the same about me, but just doesn't want to be in a relationship. Strange one! Happy as I am now, so his loss!

Jx