Do you tell someone you love them

jenhug

I told someone I loved them before I even knew their last name, had been on a date, kissed, or exchanged numbers! We have now been married 15 years so I say go for it!

System

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'd think that suddenly declaring love to a friend was a pretty destuctive thing to do - almost passive aggressive.

I'll take the risk.:)

blackbetty_3

Bazey wrote: »

whoa, Black Betty (bam-A-lam)
whoa, Black Betty (bam-A-lam)

Just tell them, wouldn't the world be better if we were open about our feelings!?

Thats where my name came from that song!

I am straight ans they are too but the last person they loved was the same sex as them but they never wanted to do anything about it, just felt a love. we have both been hurt pysdically and emotionally by past partners and i am afraid of rejection. some days i almost say it but then I dont. i see them every day. what if they react badly and i still see them it might be really awkward.

they are a good and close friend but in the begfinning i joked that my friend i lived with was a partner as they were with a partner then and we all went out as a 4, but when their partner left them we stopped going out, i have tried to tell them that my friend is just a friend but he thinks I'm just being supportive i think

i have tried a couple of times to say something, once when he was quite ill and i looked after him i tried to say how much i cared for him but once he got better it ended and we went back to just being friends

funny thing is i have been really surprised at how many said do it! i would say that to somneone else but cant seem to make myself. i know what some people might say but i think it also because i am not slim and not pretty and not even very attractive and i think its easier to tell people things like i love you if you are a good catch!

I will try and tell him, i spent years telling myself to stop being silly and get over it and that it will pass but it has been the same from the day i met him, never changed

Pee

I've never just come out and said I love you, but I have asked four guys who were close friends out. I have made it clear I would like to see them on their own as a date. Not as close friends as you sound, though, to be honest. The one we were together for nine months, very happily, but I was very young and we wanted different things, like to live in different parts of the country for one thing and so it didn't work longer term. The next was more of a friend of a friend, an acquaintance of mine, there was a bit of an embarrassing silence and we haven't seen much of one another since, although we are on speaking terms. The next we were a bit drunk, again a bit of an embarrassing silence and I will never know what he thought as we carried on much the same until I asked number four, who I was together with for about six years. I don't see so much of that friend anymore, but I do see him and we still get on well. Maybe it hasn't affected us as he was drunker than I think?

I had another friend that I really liked who said in such a situation you should tell the other person as otherwise it was being dishonest, but as I was in a relationship then and had no intention of changing that, I didn't tell him that was really how I felt.

So you could ask the friend what he thinks you should do and see what his response is.

The living with someone you told him was a partner but who isn't does sound a bit weird, though...

blackbetty_3

Pee wrote: »

The living with someone you told him was a partner but who isn't does sound a bit weird, though...

I know it seemed a good idea at the time as i thought it would get us invited to couples evenings which it did

anyway my answer to you all - result is......... he said thank you.

want_to_save

at least he did not run

blackbetty_3

yes. we havent mentioned it since and i dont know if he took me serious but its ok we seemt o be the same as ever

DigForVictory

Congratulations!
Sure, life is short, but courage is finite.
Well done on making the leap!

blueybug

I was in love with someone...... he never said he was in love with me and I was too chicken to tell him. I married the wrong person and 5 days after i married he then told me he loved me.

Cut a long story short............... i'm now divorcing that person to the one man Ive only ever loved and in Oct next year we are getting married.


Things are best said. You can never go back

blackbetty_3

blueyhug thats lovely (in the end i guess). not going to happen with me i know now but at least i told him