Why don't I know them?

WeAreGhosts

NAR wrote: »

For goodness sake ask what the issue is and find out from the horse's mouth. She hasn't been that close = do you think asking her would make it worse?

No, but it would make it worse for my parents and i've been asked 'not to upset the apple cart' plus my gran is unwell at the moment, terribly depressed etc, i'll just get accused of making things worse.

floss2 wrote: »

Perhaps it was a relative from the other side of your cousins family? eg. my cousins have cousins who are not related to me & my siblings, because they are from their mothers' families (we're related through our fathers being brothers).

Or, despite being adults, we still have people we call Aunty xx & Uncle xx - my godfather & his wife, and my parents oldest friends. Could it have been someone like this, who is a friend to your cousins' family but not necessarily to yours?

No, this woman was my gran's sister, so my aunty too.

Having thought about it overnight i think i'm past any kind of reconciliation. i suppose just have to realise that for me grandparents werent meant to be (i've not seen my mum's parents since i was 5) and not to get hung up on it.

thorsoak

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a cutesy, all-seeing, all-knowing granny like you get in the movies.

The main point is that they did everything for my two cousins and nothing for me. If they had ignored my two cousins then we'd all be even, wouldn't we? I compare what my cousins had with what I had and conclude that I've been treated totally different and I can't see any rreason why.

I've taken plenty of steps. Up until fairly recently I saw my gran every week. Did some shopping for her, made meals, bought random things she needed, weeded the garden, helped with paperwork and so on. I was a dutiful granddaughter and did all this while listening to how wonderful my cousins are.

You can't change the past - you just have to accept that that is what it was and move on.

No-one is going to answer your questions and you will only be torturing yourself if you continue to dwell upon it.

What you have to accept is IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! {{hugs}}

pimento

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

No, this woman was my gran's sister, so my aunty too.

Great aunt if she's your grandmother's sister.

KxMx

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

No, but it would make it worse for my parents and i've been asked 'not to upset the apple cart' plus my gran is unwell at the moment, terribly depressed etc, i'll just get accused of making things worse.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first at the expense of all others. There is nothing wrong with doing this in the right situation.