first week, only 5 to go

raq

thanks again guys to for the recent replys.

I have just finished 3 hours of ironing, my niece has also popped over and entertained the kids whilst Hubby is doing the finishing touches to our 9 year olds bedroom. One happy child.

Sometimes I feel like having a heart to heart chat with my mam, I think the world of her and sometimes thinks she would definately do more but my dad stops her. Any ideas ??

I do agree with my hubby, " There our kids and do want them so we should do carry on ". He is the strong one in the family, I am sensitive and very laid back. Basically cry at the drop of a hat.

Hubby just in the middle of tea for the 6 of us as my niece is also staying. She has no kids of her own but can see how difficult it is.

Thing that does get me down is my darling ds repeats himself over and over. This morning for instance, he ran upstairs and said "Dad cleaning the car this morning". ( bearing in mind it was 6.30 am ) , got up with him then. DS mentioned this every 1/2 hour then . Sadly did,nt clean the car because of the weather. It,s knowing how to be straight but firm with him without any upsets.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Janepig wrote: »

Glad it's not just me!! I'm the least maternal person ever and I do struggle to "play" with the kids,

You are supposed to let them play on their own; you just supervise so that they don't kill each other.

cte1111

I think you need to accept your parents for what they are. I know it's hard, but they don't want to help with childcare. Resenting this and comparing them with other people's parents will only make you feel upset and cross, it won't change them.

I don't find being a parent especially easy and used to dread the long summer holidays. The way I deal with it is to take each week at a time and plan ahead. Last week (only 3 days as they broke up on Tuesday) the kids spent 2 days at a tennis camp and the 3rd day we went out looking for a new bike for my son, then lunch at McD.

Next week they are both doing swimming lessons each morning, so just the afternoons to fill. We will go and meet my husband for lunch one day, will probably go shopping one day and I'll invite their friends around another day. Around these activities, the children can entertain themselves (mine and 6 and 10).

The following week they are going to a sports camp on 2 of the days. We will meet up with my daughter's godfather on another day.

Week 4 - my daugher is going to stay with her Granny (not my son's Granny) and my son and I will have a couple of days of doing what he chooses, probably will go to the cinema one day and the park several times (his favourite).

Week 5 - my husband is off work, we're hoping to go and stay in a friend's caravan.

Week 6 - haven't got much specifically planned yet, my husband is off on the Monday so just 4 days to fill. Getting clothes sorted for back to school will give us a few trips out for shopping. Hopefully the kids might get invited to their friends at some point, I'll ring round as everyone tends to be bored by then.

We might well see my Mum at some point, but it will be on her terms and I know there's no point trying to change this. She quite likes to see the kids from time to time, but will definitely not ever help if I need her to, just when she wants to. I asked if she wanted to see the children next week but no she's going to watch the cricket and on other days wants to rest so that was that. My in laws live a distance away and anyhow won't look after the kids even if we drive to see them as they think they are too old. Again no point resenting this, I have asked my husband to ring them so we can go round and see them but he's not done so yet.

Janepig

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

You are supposed to let them play on their own; you just supervise so that they don't kill each other.

Well yes that's the ideal, and DD does keep DS entertained to a degree, but she's ten now and likes a bit of time alone to amuse herself. DS is incapable of amusing himself (he's 7) unless he watches a DVD or plays video games which I don't want him doing all the time, tempting as it is!

I know when DD is in sports club tomorrow I'm not going to have a minute with him. And he's so noisy, all the time. I feel like I've gone deaf when he's not here. Lol.

Jx

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Janepig wrote: »

Well yes that's the ideal, and DD does keep DS entertained to a degree, but she's ten now and likes a bit of time alone to amuse herself. DS is incapable of amusing himself (he's 7) unless he watches a DVD or plays video games which I don't want him doing all the time, tempting as it is!

I know when DD is in sports club tomorrow I'm not going to have a minute with him. And he's so noisy, all the time. I feel like I've gone deaf when he's not here. Lol.

Jx

So...no lego/meccano/train sets etc then? How sad.

Paints, pens, paper, making up poems, [fridge] poetry, music, art - all the things we used to do all summer.

Janepig

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

So...no lego/meccano/train sets etc then? How sad.

Paints, pens, paper, making up poems, [fridge] poetry, music, art - all the things we used to do all summer.

He's got tons of stuff like that, the house is groaning under the weight of toys, k'nex, Lego, toy cars, drums, keyboards, books, pens,pencils,paper, etc.... But he has to have someone to play them with. Unlike DD who is happy to amuse herself.

So do I play with him or not oh parenting guru extraordinaire? Which?

Jx

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Janepig wrote: »

He's got tons of stuff like that, the house is groaning under the weight of toys, k'nex, Lego, toy cars, drums, keyboards, books, pens,pencils,paper, etc.... But he has to have someone to play them with. Unlike DD who is happy to amuse herself.
So do I play with him or not oh parenting guru extraordinaire? Which?
Jx

You tell him he is 7 now, and to play by himself and if he says he is bored...

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

We just used to 'play' and if we said we were bored, mum would soon get a list of chores written up for us.

LondonDiva

cte1111 wrote: »

Next week they are both doing swimming lessons each morning, so just the afternoons to fill. We will go and meet my husband for lunch one day, will probably go shopping one day and I'll invite their friends around another day. Around these activities, the children can entertain themselves (mine and 6 and 10).

Without meaning to be rude, this bit of your post had me slightly perplexed.

If that week the kids are having swimming lessons in the morning, isn't that the 'treat' or 'thing for the week? Why would you then need to come up with additional activities to 'fill the afternoons'?

Surely having been occupied and busy in the morning they should have time to rest / chill / veg out / entertain themselves for a few hours after an active morning?

Lunch with a parent used to be a highlight all its own rather than something added to a crammed itinerary to fill every hour for the kids.

mcja

I confess to being a fairly lazy parent, and take the kids to places they can play and I can chat and drink tea. OP, maybe take your niece as company for you and let the kids run wild for a few hours at a country park or NT property or something. We live in Bristol, and are lucky to have sooo many free days out on our doorstep which we use regularly in the holidays.

My kids self entertain to an extent (6&9), but need pointing in the right direction sometimes as well as splitting up other times. My ds is a little sod at the moment, so its going to be a long 5 weeks but we get through it with plans which we made last week together. We have a week with the inlaws next week in Wales and 4 days at my parents but again, they live a distance away so can't babysit or provide the odd respite hour.

Good luck to everyone off with the kids at the moment. I love summer hols but they do seem to stretch on a bit!!

Janepig

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

You tell him he is 7 now, and to play by himself and if he says he is bored...

Such an easy solution, why didn't I think of that

Jx