first week, only 5 to go

raq

morning,

I am very lucky to be home through the holidays with the little one,s ( 3 children ) but week 1 down and only 5 weeks to go.

Last week was okay, but felt a little stressed ( 6 year old has mild autism ) but now the weather has changed am sat her with my 6 year and wandering what next week holds.

My mother is on holiday and we are missing her even though we don,t get any help from family on both sides. There moto is " Been there and bought the t-shirt". On the other side of the coin they are quick enough to ask us to run them here there and everywhere.

Husband working all the hours going but not sleeping at the moment due to too many thinks going round in his head. Plus am not sleeping, was in the kitchen at 6.30 this morning and have had 3 coffees already.

Sorry, probably just feeling sorry for myself and just needed to type all this out on a sunday morning..

Spendless

awwwww have a hug, I understand this feeling so well. I used to dislike the school summer hols soo much. We never go away in them as it's so expensive, I never got help either and my husband never used to take any time off work, so it was down to me, unable to go out of the door during the day without taking them with me and counting down the weeks.

With the benefit of hindsight now they are older, I realise it's because I was doing it with little or no help that I felt the way I did.

Can your husband take some time off to share the care with you? Can you arrange to go to a friends with kids and them all play whilst you get some adult conversation? time table in some wet/colder day activities, eg museum days, look up what is being offerred by your council during the hols?

I know this will seem light years away at min, but I now miss that eldest refused to do stuff with me from his first summer at secondary school.

raq

Spendless wrote: »

awwwww have a hug, I understand this feeling so well. I used to dislike the school summer hols soo much. We never go away in them as it's so expensive, I never got help either and my husband never used to take any time off work, so it was down to me, unable to go out of the door during the day without taking them with me and counting down the weeks.

With the benefit of hindsight now they are older, I realise it's because I was doing it with little or no help that I felt the way I did.

Can your husband take some time off to share the care with you? Can you arrange to go to a friends with kids and them all play whilst you get some adult conversation? time table in some wet/colder day activities, eg museum days, look up what is being offerred by your council during the hols?

I know this will seem light years away at min, but I now miss that eldest refused to do stuff with me from his first summer at secondary school.

Hi there

Thanks for replying

My neice was with us for a couple of days last week and she takes a little pressure from us. My husband is really busy at the moment as in december/january he has very little income. He is very good, comes home cooks the tea and does the cleaning, so can,t complain there. He is aware how difficult it is and does take a little pressure from me. I am an older mum and don,t get me wrong, adore and love my 3 with all the world but sometimes I want my mum and dad,s support. My mum just states " There isn,t anything wrong with him, he is just a little S**.". This upsets me as she is aware the amount of help ds gets at school. My dad is very selfish and states " He done is time with us 3 30 years ago". Well actually you worked, put the money on the table every friday and lived in the pub all week. ( Sorry, got no real time for him at the moment ).

I also met up with a very good friend of mine on thursday and went to the local park but my eyes was everywhere making sure my ds was okay and not run off anyway.


Met up with my sister in law on friday evening ( get on really well with her ) and a friend of her,s , which both stated " I wasn,t myself". I actually went home early. It didn,t help as both has huge amount of help from their parents and was really shocked about my side. I have never been a jealous person but I will put my hand up and really felt it on friday evening.

My husband always says, "He is more worried about myself than our ds".

So, can you see why I feel the way I do..

cutestkids

Hi what age are the kids ?
I too am pretty much on my own with the kids during the summer holidays as my partner works crazy hours.
It can be hard trying to keep them entertained without spending a fortune and trying to keep everyone happy,
Mine are 12 and 8 so it can be difficult to find something that they both want to do.
The 12 year old often meets a few friends and goes swimming or to the cinema or just to the park, the 8 year old is a bit more difficult as he seems to be at an age where he is a bit too old for some things but not quite old enough for others lol.

My tip for keeping your sanity is to give yourself a bit of time each day when your hubby is about even if it is just half an hour in the bath or a 20 minute walk or half an hour upstairs reading a book, it does not matter what it is as long as it is just for you.

If the weather is good you could pack a picnic and go for a nice walk with all the kids somehow fresh air and a bit of exercise can make things seem much better.

pukkamum

I always find its good to have an itinerary during the holidays, nothing strict or set in stone, just things to do based on the weather and finances.
The children and I sort it together, each child picks one paid, one free, one at home activity per week, and dependant on weather and finances we do each one.
This puts a stop to us just hanging round the house til lunch trying to think of something to do and not doing anything at all.

One day a week is my day when I will do jobs etc and one day a week is a duvet day.
One of our activities is a magical mystery tour, I buy an any bus, bus ticket for us all, we go the bus station and go wherever takes our fancy.
Oh and when dh comes in I have an hour off, I spend an our in my bedroom, watch a film, play the ps3 or do my nails, it keeps me sane!

raq

thanks cutestkids

Nearly 13, 9 and nearly 7.

My 13 year old is really good round the house, although she is out and about alot with friends.

I actually went to bed pretty early last night, but slept for about 5 hours. I am actually sat here wanting to "drop off".

We adore the beach and are quite lucky there are a few around us. I find the beach life pretty good as it is cheap and the kids love it. My mother or sister in law normally comes along to help.

My niece just sent me a text to say she will pop over later but the last thing I want is polite chit chat. I love her to bits but just not 100 %.

I am worried about my mum as she recently come out of hospital and my dad doesn,t do a thing. I was running around for the 10 days everyday, kids in school and all the other chores whilst he went to see her and then the pub. No thanks for the lifts, or the washing after. Thankgod she is on the mend, but it so annoyed me. I have 2 brothers but they also didn,t bother going to the hospital, left it all down to me.

raq

pukkamum wrote: »

I always find its good to have an itinerary during the holidays, nothing strict or set in stone, just things to do based on the weather and finances.
The children and I sort it together, each child picks one paid, one free, one at home activity per week, and dependant on weather and finances we do each one.
This puts a stop to us just hanging round the house til lunch trying to think of something to do and not doing anything at all.

One day a week is my day when I will do jobs etc and one day a week is a duvet day.
One of our activities is a magical mystery tour, I buy an any bus, bus ticket for us all, we go the bus station and go wherever takes our fancy.
Oh and when dh comes in I have an hour off, I spend an our in my bedroom, watch a film, play the ps3 or do my nails, it keeps me sane!

hi there

funny enough it was only the other day my middle child asked if we could go on the mystery bus around our town. I know that is something they would enjoy


Today: Oldest dd is going to the cinema with her best friend. i don,t mind as she has only had £2.00 this week. ( Keep a tight reign on the old finances . lol )

Middle child is in the middle of his lego, bless him, we don,t hear him. Youngest ds wants to clean the car with dad. Gone on about it since he woke up. DS tends to do the repeating thing. Trouble is both myself and husband has to be there as he has no sense of danger with the through road outside our house.

Monday: middle child has swimming lesson

Tuesday: Nothing on

Wednesday: In the middle of an assessment for the local university for our youngest ds. They come to the house

Thursday: My mum is home from hols, so will probably walk around to see her. I won,t take the kids as my dad has no patience

Friday: Nothing planned

Spendless

raq wrote: »

Hi there

Thanks for replying

My neice was with us for a couple of days last week and she takes a little pressure from us. My husband is really busy at the moment as in december/january he has very little income. He is very good, comes home cooks the tea and does the cleaning, so can,t complain there. He is aware how difficult it is and does take a little pressure from me. I am an older mum and don,t get me wrong, adore and love my 3 with all the world but sometimes I want my mum and dad,s support. My mum just states " There isn,t anything wrong with him, he is just a little S**.". This upsets me as she is aware the amount of help ds gets at school. My dad is very selfish and states " He done is time with us 3 30 years ago". Well actually you worked, put the money on the table every friday and lived in the pub all week. ( Sorry, got no real time for him at the moment ).

I also met up with a very good friend of mine on thursday and went to the local park but my eyes was everywhere making sure my ds was okay and not run off anyway.


Met up with my sister in law on friday evening ( get on really well with her ) and a friend of her,s , which both stated " I wasn,t myself". I actually went home early. It didn,t help as both has huge amount of help from their parents and was really shocked about my side. I have never been a jealous person but I will put my hand up and really felt it on friday evening.

My husband always says, "He is more worried about myself than our ds".

So, can you see why I feel the way I do..

Yes of course I can. I'm an older mum too, was 33 and 36 when I had mine. We had a fall-out with my parents before I'd even come out of hospitaL from having him and the relationship was strained until a couple of years ago and my IL's have health problems. I also found my eldest a handful who didn't either mix well (and still doesn't with other kids)

Admittedly I thought you were talking about younger children. Your eldest is same age of mine and as I said not in the slightest bit bothered about doing anything with me.

neverdespairgirl

Have a look at your local council's website - ours is full of activities run at various centres throughout the borough during the holidays, and a lot of them are either free or very cheap, and suitable for children of different ages. For example, I took DS (8) to a herb garden last Wednesday, where they did some gardening in age groups, and he really enjoyed it.

valk_scot

I know it's a bit late but are there no sports coaching sessions or local church group summer groups they can join, for the odd week or so? These are usually very cheap, my DD used to go to the local church activity fortnight for £10 a week, 9-1pm for games, crafts and outside activities. It was run by properly trained leaders assisted by teenage volunteers and DD always enjoyed it hugely. She's older (12) now so goes on Scout camping trips and is doing a lifeguarding course at the swimming pool next week, it's only £8 for the full five sessions to cover the certificate.

There are a lot of free activities run by our local council over the summer too, including several for kids with disabilities. The swimming pool is free for under 16s over the summer and there are gala activities going on atm for Civic Week.

I'm an older mum too btw, had my first child at 34 and the last at 43. I didn't have any family support at all as my siblings live hundreds of miles away and the lone surviving grandparent was very elderly. But I used to quite like the summer holidays as there was no breakfast/school rush, I would let them stay up a bit later and then sleep in a bit in the morning if they weren't booked in to anything. Mornings were for chores and even when they were small like 4 or 5 they'd have to pitch in and help, we'd get the house tidied up and any cleaning done, sort out any dinner planning etc. Then we'd have a picnic lunch either in the garden or on the lounge floor or take it to the local park.

I'd make a point of getting out every day even if it was only for a walk to feed the ducks, as they got older I could take them to more ambitious places. We used to do holiday type trips like a bus to the beach or a local historic place or the local county park, there are plenty that still don't charge for this.

I liked to give them the sense we'd had a holiday rather than just sit around waiting for school to start again so we'd do a couple of more special trips too, at the weekend if my OH couldn't take a day off during the weeks. We were skint when the kids were smaller though so it really was only one or two trips. We have tents so we'd go to a local campsite, one of the best trips was to a friend who lived an hour away as we camped out in her garden for three nights, lol. We used to camp in the garden too, if it was good weather.

We spent a lot of time in the garden in the summer come to think of it. I'd put an old tent (£1 from a jumble sale!) up in the garden for a playhouse and it didn't matter if it got wrecked. I used to have a day a week where a couple of other mums and kids came round, two of us would look after all the kids and the third one got out on her own for an afternoon. We'd make jelly and ice cream and play stupid games and let the kids have water fights. Rain? They'd go in the tent, still have the water fights. Is there another parent locally you can team up with like this, for a bit of mutual childcare?

Poppy9

I really don't wish to sound harsh but you need to take control of the situation.

Start by counting your blessings: As you say you are lucky to be home with your children and your OH is fab coming home from work and prepping food and cleaning, plus your 12 year old helps.

Stop feeling jealous of friends/family who have family childcare, I bet it's not all roses (interferrig, disputes over how to discipline etc.).

You are lucky to live near the seaside and it's a fab day out rain or shine. Pick up some roller blades/scooter/bikes etc. cheaply and with a pinic in your backpack off you go for the day. The exercise and sea air will help you all sleep.

Your OH also sounds stressed so maybe do a seaside pinic for him in the evening.

Contact your council to see if there are any activities going on. Most councils get grants for projects to run over summer holidays and some are poorly taken up. DD used to do an Arts project which ran all week. She isn't arty as in drawing but the course was more a creative course so they made films, did photography, costumes etc. and she loved it. She couldn't go the last time they ran it as our post code was wrong (the funding had changed to only cover deprived areas) however on the 2nd day of the course they rang and asked if she wanted a place as many of those booked on hadn't turned up so you might find something at this late stage.

All your local uni might have some children activities on.

If you have a decent garden have you thought of making an assault course out there. OH used to put up small planks of wood on a few bricks, use chairs, paddling pool etc. as obstacles and the children used to love it.