Colleague off sick due to 'stress' when she is partying

Own_My_Own

fionajbanana wrote: »

Yes I am bored. No have not made the thread up. As most times I log into FB - this colleague's statuses normally the most updated.

I have been in pain since late May/early June, cannot exactly remember the date when symptoms started. For the past 8 weeks (bar one week annual leave) I have been in pain for 80% of the time and dragged myself into work. Colleagues could see I was struggling on some days. Plus, there have been 2 colleagues that have been off sick with gallbladder pain and subsequent surgery to remove in the past 12 months. Basically, as soon as one colleague came back to work after gb surgery, another colleague displayed symptoms of gallstones. Management know what goes on with gallstones.

What colleagues seen this colleague in question since she has been off sick with stress is that she looks like there is nothing wrong with her.

On Saturday, I am not going to the pub to say farewell to two colleagues as I am still signed off sick and colleagues are understandable. If this colleague turns up, she will be in deep trouble. Just needs a couple of photos taken of her. The only time I would go to this when signed off sick is if I have broken or had an op on a limb and people can see I cannot work. A colleague had an op on her wrist 10 days before our Christmas party and had a cast on her arm.

So who is going to be at work on Monday with 2 of you off sick and 2 leaving this week !

And why is your colleague going to be in deep trouble if she turns up ?
'Just needs a couple of photos taken of her '

Sorry but you just sound twisted and nasty.

Sheel

fionajbanana wrote: »

No have not made the thread up.

You've not been entirely truthful though have you?

dori2o

fionajbanana wrote: »

Yes I am bored. No have not made the thread up. As most times I log into FB - this colleague's statuses normally the most updated.

I have been in pain since late May/early June, cannot exactly remember the date when symptoms started. For the past 8 weeks (bar one week annual leave) I have been in pain for 80% of the time and dragged myself into work. Colleagues could see I was struggling on some days. Plus, there have been 2 colleagues that have been off sick with gallbladder pain and subsequent surgery to remove in the past 12 months. Basically, as soon as one colleague came back to work after gb surgery, another colleague displayed symptoms of gallstones. Management know what goes on with gallstones.

What colleagues seen this colleague in question since she has been off sick with stress is that she looks like there is nothing wrong with her.

On Saturday, I am not going to the pub to say farewell to two colleagues as I am still signed off sick and colleagues are understandable. If this colleague turns up, she will be in deep trouble. Just needs a couple of photos taken of her. The only time I would go to this when signed off sick is if I have broken or had an op on a limb and people can see I cannot work. A colleague had an op on her wrist 10 days before our Christmas party and had a cast on her arm.

Off who exactly?

If the person in question has a Fit Note, which confirms they are Unfit to Work, signed by a Doctor, then there is nothing the employer can do. Whether this person is in the pub or not.

Coraline

Regarding stress, in my situation it was my manager that wouldn't listen to my repeated concerns that I was over worked. Handed hands-on duties to be PA to two people, then "promoted" to head strategic work and project management in a PR capacity.

Each and every time I brought up that I was spread too thin and couldn't handle the workload (60-70 hour weeks without direction, some, well frankly bullying, and the feeling that no matter what I did was wrong).

My manager would raise arms and wave away and start accusing me of taking on too much work. But wait a minute, I was hired to do one job, then three days later given about 30 hour per week job managing PA duties for someone else, then "promoted" to the position I am in now. All of these changes happened within 10 days since I was hired months ago.

I've been carrying that workload for 4 months now and finally reached one of the seniors that saw that I was breaking down. This person spoke with my manager and as of Monday I'm released from my old duties to concentrate on my "real job." Which of course is a job that is meant for two people, but I welcome the change from going from handling 2,3 or even 4 jobs to 2 jobs if that makes sense.

As for grassing in colleagues based on what you see on their facebook pages, I think that's treading dangerous ground. I was lucky enough after six weeks to get help under mental health and get taken on as a regular patient to sort my issues out, with medication, then going to therapy. (Note, my issues with work coincided with a very difficult period in family time).

At the end of the day, if you're signed off for stress, I would expect the doctor for you to do non-stressful things to recuperate. For me that would be going to the park, taking a day trip to the seaside, going out to dinner with my family, all things I can't do currently due to workload. And when people hang out in these manners, pictures are taken and they wind up on Facebook. It doesn't necessarily mean that your colleague is trying to cheat the system.

I don't think it's wise for this person to post all of this stuff on Facebook, but why raise an issue of it? It can come back to bite you in the !!!!. Please call me out if I am wrong OP, but I get the sense you have a grudge with this person.

Without knowing this person's circumstances fully (it would great if this person was on this forum to challenge the accusations), it's pretty hard to judge.

My doctor and I had a long and frank discussion and he mentioned many options for how to recover from a very stressful episode. In the end the doctor recommended some temporary medications, a plan working with my GP, and then after that referral to counseling.

Mental health issues are complicated and not always caused by a single incident.

fionajbanana

Ok one of the colleagues is from different department and used to be part of my team

Sheel

fionajbanana wrote: »

Ok one of the colleagues is from different department and used to be part of my team

Deli counter? Bakery?

dori2o

fionajbanana wrote: »

Ok one of the colleagues is from different department and used to be part of my team

and what difference does that make?

It seems to me that YOU are potentially bullying this person, and if they really are ill, and are suffering from stress, then to bully someone already unable to cope with aspects of their life, really s the lowest of the low.

Coraline

The thing about work related stress, and I know how it feels (when it gets to the point where you're stretched so thin and your brain actually stops functioning and you are paralyzed from thinking) is the obvious first step is to get away from the source of the stress (in this case work) for a a while to collect your thoughts and build yourself back up again.

If I wound up in this situation getting signed off for such stress, I think the first thing I would do is book a plane ticket and go to my mother's cottage in my native country and do nothing but read and sit on the porch and play with the 10 or so feral cats that roam about the property. I don't think that would exactly count as a "holiday" but recovery, as I have very strong and calming ties with that place and could never think of anything more peaceful.

slojo1

fionajbanana wrote: »

What colleagues seen this colleague in question since she has been off sick with stress is that she looks like there is nothing wrong with her.

Loads of illnesses/conditions are debilitating without it looking like anything is wrong with the sufferer. Just because you don't have a limb hanging off by a thread or aren't doubled over in pain doesn't mean you are not ill. You are coming across really badly here to be honest

monicaG84

invasion of privacy has become the english way. leave the coworker to her own fate, and use the slack to shine so to advance your career. You could even pick up the slack and make it known to look beter to your bosses. This behind the back chitter chatter about a skiving coworker is a cliche and rather defeatist I say