The "we need space" thread

paulineb_2

bobthebuilder2006 wrote: »

Not to sure if any of my mates go on this, but if they do its clear who I am but oh well just feel like getting peoples views and telling my story

I've been with my "ex" for 5 years, and they've just recently moved in, we do argue, but thats just how we are together, we've had bad times and good times.

knowing they was moving in, i did everything to make them comfortable house wise, i do earn more money but would always make sure they was happy

now im not perfect, can come across lazy and sarcastic but i always mean well

anyway, last friday OH was going to a party (that i wasn't too happy about due to a certain person being there) but i'd never stop anyone doing what they want

cut a long story shut, got blanked all nite and had murder that nite / next day, really !!!!ed off i stayed at a friends house the saturday nite

come back sunday to try sort things out, and all of a sudden they want to stay at their "mates", i think ok, lets clear our head's

gets to wednesday still no real signs of progressing, OH comes round we sort of have a chat, dont want them to leave but they did anyway, OH "wanting space"

me being silly logged on to OH account on pc and they'd left FB logged in, find messages they was asking for someone elses number

i go mad certain something is going on, confront and get told usual stuff "nothing is going on, you just went missing saturday etc"

heads completely battered thursday and friday, other half still wants "space" now im not stupid, all the signs are on the wall, thought i'd give it till weekend,

things drag out, gets to sunday, i completely lose the plot, pack everything to do with this person and dump it on the path of the house their staying in

i know its over now, and probably for best, but just wondering has anyone else been in this situation, i know things have probably pushed her away and she's probably had a spark with this other guy, but throwing 5 years, an engagment, house and future together seams harsh, but what will be will be,

still denying anything is going on, i set out some people to find out if anythings going on, ex finally admits, they've been out a couple times after break but nothing serious has happened

just feels harsh after 5 years, so soon she'd show an interest in someone else

maybe its been coming a long time, just harsh when it hits you out the blue eh?

could of been worse i suppose....

Id be leaving her alone. You werent happy about her going to a party. You put all of her stuff on someone else doorstep and you send people out to find out whats going on?

Do you have an issue with jealousy or have you had at any time in the past. I actually dont understand the way you've written all of this, shes now your ex but when she moved in she wasnt?

Its your house or its both? You argue but thats just the way it is?
Maybe the signs have been there for a long time that shes not happy and you didnt pick up on them and yes it must be horrible that shes moved on quickly, but you've cut ties with her now and you'll get through it in time.

gt568

This thread is quite interesting. I'd wager if the OP was a female the posts would be waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy different.

paulineb_2

gt568 wrote: »

This thread is quite interesting. I'd wager if the OP was a female the posts would be waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy different.

Tbh, irrespective of gender I dont see the issue about someone dating someone else after youve broken up with your partner.

The timing is a bit quick but the OP himself said they had broken up.

You can only respond to the information given and as I said before, a lot of the first post didnt make much sense to me.

bobthebuilder2006

There has been a lot more to this story than I've been able to type, reason I didn't like idea of goin party cause this lads tried it on before, I didn't mean I am lazy, I get a lot of stuff done and work hard, sounds like it was always going down the pan, just crap getting lied to eh

bobthebuilder2006

Reading back it does make me sound bit paranoid etc, but I had every right to be with some of the things going on, and lies I was gettin told

bobthebuilder2006

The reason I got so angry is because we was still supposed to be together when "I need space" come up but I knew somethin else was goin on, seems like she was seeing which side was greener, if we had of split compleatly I would of just left it as that, oh the house is mine in my name

sulkisu

gt568 wrote: »

This thread is quite interesting. I'd wager if the OP was a female the posts would be waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy different.

Nope. Mine would have been exactly the same .

paulineb_2

bobthebuilder2006 wrote: »

The reason I got so angry is because we was still supposed to be together when "I need space" come up but I knew somethin else was goin on, seems like she was seeing which side was greener, if we had of split compleatly I would of just left it as that, oh the house is mine in my name

If someone doesnt want to be with you, you need to respect that and move on. Ive been there, it hurts terribly and maybe the grass wont be greener after all, but shes made her decision and it is awful when you care about someone and youve been with them a long time, but at least you know now and youve made the clean break and you can get it out of your system hopefully and get on with your life.

bobthebuilder2006

Yer doin a clean split, not one for dragging things on, that's the main reason I got everythin out my house - wasn't fair on me her just leaving it there till whenever

DKLS

I would normally ask if she had a sister but thats probably not appropriate for this forum

Time to move on fella, buy yourself a new shirt, rustle up some mates for saturday night and get back on that horse.