So tired of my life at the moment

double_mummy

it may be her room but it is your house you own it or rent it not her therefore you allow her to use that room she actually has no right to it other than you allow her to use it

IMHO the mouse thing is a bad idea why should you lie to your daughter to get her to do what she needs to do - discuss it with her as an adult and if she doesnt agree or will not do what you ask then she can move out

and just because she is at college does not mean she cant have a PT job - it will actually help her getting a job after her college course

and money is the key to what?

olibrofiz

I typed a witty reply and mobile went awol, so in a nutshell

The house is her home, and as such she feels its hers and if she wants to leave her knickers on the bathroom floor for a week, she will

The thought of vermin in her room would liky make her want to be tidy - I can't discuss it with her as an adult as she doesn't give a crap

No one wants pt staff apparently

Money is the key to her partying etc...

balletshoes

olibrofiz wrote: »

I typed a witty reply and mobile went awol, so in a nutshell

The house is her home, and as such she feels its hers and if she wants to leave her knickers on the bathroom floor for a week, she will

The thought of vermin in her room would liky make her want to be tidy - I can't discuss it with her as an adult as she doesn't give a crap

No one wants pt staff apparently

Money is the key to her partying etc...

Have you ever told her, calmly, that her behaviour/lack of pulling her weight in the house makes you feel like she doesn't like you, doesn't care about you, and that hurts you deeply?

I agree with picking your battles too, you're a mum, you have done and will continue to do stuff for your child because you're her mum, and until she's an adult, maybe even a mum herself in years to come, she won't appreciate everything you do for her or consider how badly she's treating you now. But you can tell her, calmly, that the way she behaves with specific things upsets you a lot and really hurts your feelings.

Gillyx

I'm sorry to say but I too put my mum through this, she used to do 12 hour days and then go to the gym to avoid me. She has since told me she hated coming home and every day was a constant battle.

She will change and things will get better

Until then I'd take away the internet/TV, also who pays her phone bill? If it's you I'd remove it.

Leaving cans etc laying around isn't acceptable.

olibrofiz

balletshoes wrote: »

Have you ever told her, calmly, that her behaviour/lack of pulling her weight in the house makes you feel like she doesn't like you, doesn't care about you, and that hurts you deeply?

I agree with picking your battles too, you're a mum, you have done and will continue to do stuff for your child because you're her mum, and until she's an adult, maybe even a mum herself in years to come, she won't appreciate everything you do for her or consider how badly she's treating you now. But you can tell her, calmly, that the way she behaves with specific things upsets you a lot and really hurts your feelings.

Yes, done all that, but I'm being moody then and making life unhappy for her she says.has absolutely no effect. Just so tired of it all.

And gillyx ~ cans isn't the half of stuff left lying around. She's very blase about the pill, and I actually live in dread of pregnancy. I couldn't have her living here if she had a baby, awful as it sounds the dogs would be dragging shifty nappies all over the house.

I really have ni idea how its got to this!!

Gillyx

I feel so sorry for you. You can't really go on living like that and at 18 I do think it's time you issued some ultimatums, it's not fair for you to feel the way you do and I'd be telling her that. She has 'x' amount of weeks to either shape up or she can find an alternative place to live.

How does she behave at her fathers?

I'm not the tidiest person in the world but I couldn't have that.

olibrofiz

Oh, and I went through her roomearlier, there's 6 bin bags full of stuff that she needs to sort by Fri next week, or its going to charity shop. I'm going to rearrange her room thus weekend, currently the bed is by the wall and everything gets shoved between the bed and the wall - cloyhes, food wrappers, tissues et . Just can't live like this

Blackpool_Saver

my son is like this, occasionally I see windows of maturity

Peater

Children consume love, attention and material possessions. That's all they know from a young age.

You can't expect them just to 'know' adult ethics and empathy as soon as they turn 18. They are still children and still need gradual education/weening into adult life.

claretsgirl

My 16 year old DD is just like this. It's so frustrating. I've tried talking to her and reasoning but she just doesn't see it. I am amazed she can sleep in a room as gross as it is.
I've kind of given up to it now. I just don't go in there. I no longer have a go at her because I find it gets me more wound up and stressed which is not what I need. The only thing I do is remove dirty glasses every morning.
On the other hand I'm no longer there for lifts or favours, use of my lap top etc. I do her laundry but don't iron it as it would just end up on the floor so I'd be wasting my time.
I suppose you do what you have to in order for you to live comfortably without being taken for a ride.
Good luck and if you find the answer please let me know. X