So tired of my life at the moment

olibrofiz

My question is, if someone is unappreciative of the things you do for them, and the time you give them, doesn’t seem to take any notice of what you say, and is manipulative in that if they don’t get their own way they’re sooooo upset and it’s all your fault, at what point do you say ‘phhft, you’re on your own’.

Because I really feel i'm at the 'phhft' point right this moment I'm so tired of my home life (work's great, love my job, can't wait to get there in the morning )

*sigh*

fluffnutter

Perhaps the point where it's so bad you're telling strangers on the interweb.

Read back what you've read. What would you advise?

Errata

People can only manipulate those who allow themselves to be manipulated. It takes two to tango.

scotnan

olibrofiz wrote: »

if someone is unappreciative of the things you do for them, and the time you give them, doesn’t seem to take any notice of what you say, and is manipulative in that if they don’t get their own way they’re sooooo upset and it’s all your fault

You've just described parenthood to a T

tattooedjadey

olibrofiz wrote: »

My question is, if someone is unappreciative of the things you do for them, and the time you give them, doesn’t seem to take any notice of what you say, and is manipulative in that if they don’t get their own way.

This is the answer to your question...

CH27

olibrofiz wrote: »

My question is, if someone is unappreciative of the things you do for them, and the time you give them, doesn’t seem to take any notice of what you say, and is manipulative in that if they don’t get their own way they’re sooooo upset and it’s all your fault, at what point do you say ‘phhft, you’re on your own’.

Because I really feel i'm at the 'phhft' point right this moment I'm so tired of my home life (work's great, love my job, can't wait to get there in the morning )

*sigh*

Do you have a teenager?

olibrofiz

CH27 wrote: »

Do you have a teenager?

*sigh* yep. 18 going on terrible 2's!!! It's been a week of it, and I was at a bit of a low when I posted earlier.

I'm just giving all the time, and she's taking, completely unappreciative, if I dare to say no I'm being moody and horrible to her (so she wails) - how do I knock that on the head? Do absolutely NOTHING for her?

The other day I thought 'sod it, I won't clean up in the kitchen either'. I cracked after two days of empty milk cartons/cans/cartons/crisp packets/chocolate wrappers, dried coffee/tea/juice etc all over the worktop so there was no room to even put a cup down :mad::mad:

And her bedroom, sigh. Yesterday the dog sauntered out of her bedroom with an aero wrapper stuck to it's foot by the melted chocolate on it - it was funny , but I despair. She's going to her dad's this weekend, when she comes back I'm going to tell her I saw a mouse go under her bed, put down a mouse trap an all

EDIT: I'm sorry, it all just seems so trivial compared with things others are going through, but *sigh* just feeling deflated

double_mummy

you need to discuss this with her

either she does what you expect her to do - cleaning - tidy bedroom etc or she moves out she is not 8 she is 18

or tell herr that if her room is not tidy by the time she goes to her dads you will be tidying it and that will consist of anything not put away will be binned including clothes on the floor and go through with it

do what you need to do to keep your life comfortable but stop doing what makes hers comfortable - stop washing her clothes- dont cook for her- dont give her money- dont do anything at all that she wants until she is behaving in your house how you want her to

also unless she pays you rent then i would put a lock on the landline and the internet and the tv - why should she have these extras when she cant do the basics

if she is paying then draw up a tenancy agreement including penalties for what you want done - bedroom will be inspected once a week if not tidy then no internet that week etc

while she is living with you you are still in charge she might just need reminding of that fact

CH27

olibrofiz wrote: »

*sigh* yep. 18 going on terrible 2's!!! It's been a week of it, and I was at a bit of a low when I posted earlier.

I'm just giving all the time, and she's taking, completely unappreciative, if I dare to say no I'm being moody and horrible to her (so she wails) - how do I knock that on the head? Do absolutely NOTHING for her?

The other day I thought 'sod it, I won't clean up in the kitchen either'. I cracked after two days of empty milk cartons/cans/cartons/crisp packets/chocolate wrappers, dried coffee/tea/juice etc all over the worktop so there was no room to even put a cup down :mad::mad:

And her bedroom, sigh. Yesterday the dog sauntered out of her bedroom with an aero wrapper stuck to it's foot by the melted chocolate on it - it was funny , but I despair. She's going to her dad's this weekend, when she comes back I'm going to tell her I saw a mouse go under her bed, put down a mouse trap an all

EDIT: I'm sorry, it all just seems so trivial compared with things others are going through, but *sigh* just feeling deflated

Pick your battles.

What goes on in son's bedroom is his problem. If he wants to live like a pig he can do.

I do insist on the kitchen being clean will make him clear up.
I went on strike once. It lasted 3 days before he caved & cleaned the whole house:rotfl:

Remember it's just a another phase she is going through & you will come through it.

olibrofiz

double_mummy wrote: »

you need to discuss this with her

I have, but it goes in one ear and out the other

either she does what you expect her to do - cleaning - tidy bedroom etc or she moves out she is not 8 she is 18

She says it's her room, she can have it how she likes

or tell herr that if her room is not tidy by the time she goes to her dads you will be tidying it and that will consist of anything not put away will be binned including clothes on the floor and go through with it

See point about mouse she won't want to sleep in there till it's 'caught' - i'm actually going up there in a minute and putting everything that's on the floor into black bags

do what you need to do to keep your life comfortable but stop doing what makes hers comfortable - stop washing her clothes- dont cook for her- dont give her money- dont do anything at all that she wants until she is behaving in your house how you want her to

Ah, now money is the key

also unless she pays you rent then i would put a lock on the landline and the internet and the tv - why should she have these extras when she cant do the basics

She's 'at college' so is now off for the summer. her dad pays maintenance but I'm guessing that will stop as she's 18

if she is paying then draw up a tenancy agreement including penalties for what you want done - bedroom will be inspected once a week if not tidy then no internet that week etc

I wouldn't actually mind if the mess was confined to her room, but it's all over the house!!! sox/cans/cups in the lounge, dirty clothes on the bathroom floor etc, etc

while she is living with you you are still in charge she might just need reminding of that fact

Thank you

olibrofiz

CH27 wrote: »

Pick your battles.

What goes on in son's bedroom is his problem. If he wants to live like a pig he can do.

She does, and will continue - but maybe not after the 'mouse'

I do insist on the kitchen being clean will make him clear up.
I went on strike once. It lasted 3 days before he caved & cleaned the whole house:rotfl:

Remember it's just a another phase she is going through & you will come through it.

Thank you, I guess I will eventually. She's just so bloody ungrateful !! She's at her friends last night & tonight, and has a driving lesson tomorrow PM - no money to get back (she just cba to consider that!) and I'm NOT picking her up - she'll have to get one of her 'fantastic' mates to bring her home

*sigh* off to attack her bedroom