How do I plan or arrange my disposal when I dont want a funeral/service or anything?

FLAPJACK

I like the sound of a woodland burial.....no headstone or anything that will beome overgrown in future years as there will not be anyone there to tend a grave.

Slightly off topic but for me personally if I had something terminal I like the idea of what the Swiss can do.....you spend your life making decisions why (in a terminal case) could you not make your own decision as when to go.....it goes hand in hand with making the decision of what happens to you after death.

zaksmum

Mojisola wrote: »

I did realise that - but your description has given me a laugh! - althoug a lot of people do have this attitude of not caring "because they're going to be dead".

My lovely Dad's funeral was last week and it made everything so much easier for us knowing we were giving him the kind of send-off he wanted and that the majority of the costs had been pre-paid.

Sorry about your dad mojisola.

Mojisola

zaksmum wrote: »

Sorry about your dad mojisola.

Thanks. He was in his 90s and he'd lived a good life. We know he would have preferred to go before his health got too bad so it was the right time for him.

cashbag

I arranged the scenario for my own departure quite some time ago. I gave instructions to a funeral director that there was to be no formal service; relatives & close friends will be invited to gather at the funeral home where someone will read a few words & maybe play a piece of music. I will then be buried without ceremony in a local graveyard.

My mother has done likewise, except she does not even want the funeral home gathering; just burial with my late father with no ceremony at the graveside apart from just a few words said by myself if there is anyone there to listen. Do need enough people there to lower the coffin.

In both cases our instructions have been placed with our wills & executors told.

Errata

cashbag wrote: »

I arranged the scenario for my own departure quite some time ago. I gave instructions to a funeral director that there was to be no formal service; relatives & close friends will be invited to gather at the funeral home where someone will read a few words & maybe play a piece of music. I will then be buried without ceremony in a local graveyard.

My mother has done likewise, except she does not even want the funeral home gathering; just burial with my late father with no ceremony at the graveside apart from just a few words said by myself if there is anyone there to listen. Do need enough people there to lower the coffin.

In both cases our instructions have been placed with our wills & executors told.

Have both you and your mother paid the funeral directors in advance?

cashbag

No - all will be paid out of our respective estates by our executors.

The two funeral directors we have dealt with (who have both provided their services to our family previously) were quite accustomed to people making these sort of advance arrangements & were very helpful. Certainly we both feel comfortable with knowing what will (probably) happen to us. But at the end of the day (lol!) if it all goes pear-shaped & we somehow end up with a state funeral apiece we won't be here to care!

zaksmum

Mojisola wrote: »

Thanks. He was in his 90s and he'd lived a good life. We know he would have preferred to go before his health got too bad so it was the right time for him.

Still very hard though isn't it? My dad was 84 and he too would've preferred to go before his health got too bad - but didn't.

Due to very low levels of oxygen he was confused and hallucinating. Nightmare time. Hope you're ok

SallyD

As far back as I could remember my dear old Dad always said he did not want a fuss when he died, no party, no flowers, a cardboard box would do nicely. After some researching, the cardboard box "green" was in fact a chipboard coffin, miles away and expensive. We settled on the basic of basic funerals which still came to over £3,000 which was about the norm at the time. This no flowers thing did not work, even my Mum bought a coffin spray that went from one end to the other and in the end you could not see the "cheapo" coffin as it was covered in flowers. The Vicar, chatted to me about my Dad and on the day stood in front of us and my Dads pals and started talking as though he was a lifelong friend. I had to jump up and say a few words as my Dad would have hated this stranger talking about him. Dad only new one religiously type thing and that was the Lords Prayer which he remembered from school. After the prayer was said off he went behind the curtains and it was over in a matter of minutes. I do not want this. I did not think it was possible to donate ones whole body for research. After reading this thought provoking thread, I will be phoning first thing tomorrow - thankfully I live within the Leeds University catchment area. Fingers crossed when the time comes they could use me to benefit all the students who will be studying to save lives - I have had amazing life saving treatment from the NHS and hopefully my body will go someway to benefit others. My family will probably think I am a weird old bat, but heyho - more cash for them!

System

I like the idea of this for myself.