child leaving college and csa

Marisco

his_wife wrote: »

just an update, sd has now reached the age of 20, and we have ceased paying csa. This is not to say my husband will no longer support her, however, he will no longer subsidise her mothers way of life.

We are still disputing with the csa, still sending daily "reminders" to cb, both still singing from the same bloody hymn sheet.

So basically, her mum has gotten away with fraud, legally. what a great system we have.

That calls for a bottle (or two) of wine and a quick rendition of "Glory Hallelujah" It's a marvelous feeling when you get that final letter off the CSA isn't it? :T :beer: :j

pinkpig08

How long does it take to get the letter? We wrote in August asking for confirmation that his liability ceased at the end of August. We still haven't received a reply!

Marisco

It was a long time ago now, so I can't really remember. We got a letter out of the blue saying that it was ended, and IIRC it was because the ex didn't give some info that was required, so the CSA wouldn't keep on with the claim. This was on CSA 1 and it was about 9/10 years ago now.

his_wife

You know marisco, the first time csa stopped, ie, when she turned 19 , we were elated, this time, it was a bit of a non event. Yes we are happy the csa are no longer part of my husbands life, however, he still feels a little robbed it didn't stop 8 months ago.

Cally_Smart

Yes, we felt kind of relieved that it had come to an end (they said end of August 2013)but it should have really stopped like the case above but almost a year ago for 2 qc's who didn't attend the college they enrolled for! As we have been telling CSA for almost the same time! But we still have thousands of, according to them, arrears ! Perhaps in the future my husband & myself(& son) can rebuild some kind of relationship with his recently estranged family maybe when they realise he had always done the right thing by them or have children of their own and realise the importance of family.

his_wife

It isn't fair is it cally, his daughter blames me, for him not giving her x, y and z,,,,his ex wife blames me, for breathing basically, yet all i wanted is a fair system.

Like you, I would love a relationship with my sd and would love my husband to have a relationship with his daughter, that doesn't involve money, then she can see us for the people we really are, rather than pound signs

Cally_Smart

Who'd be a step mum,we have a bad press from the start with stories like Cinderella & Snow white ! I tried my best ,welcomed the children(there were 4 of them + my daughter) into my home with my young daughter & I went out to work.We had the children every weekend even had them when she went on holidays abroad with her various boyfriends! It worked well for 6 or 7 years then the children turned teenagers and wanted to stay at home alone on their own at their Mums so played up.She bought them alcohol to drink at home! We only live in next street but they played up & made up totally fabricated stories about us! It was heartbreaking.I help at a school but luckily they have known me through my older children & I have a long history of my help there etc so they knew it was all rubbish she didn't ebven bother to send hers to school.I even went to Police for help .It was so stressful. We are still trying to sort out the CSA now.I had to sell the car I managed to run when I was a single parent to manage to pay her !

his_wife

its so wrong and unfair cally,,,this morning, my little inkiling was right. low and behold, daughter turns 20, and her mum has told her she has to leave college and find a job, as she has "lost" all "her" money!!!!

So sd has now walked out of college (if she was ever in college apart from the day she enrolled) and signed on the dole!!!!

It is because of people like this that the system is the way it is, too say im annoyed is an understatement!! This should of all been stopped last march at the latest, we could of helped sd out, instead, they took the mick out of the system and milked it too the bitter end.

Just musing though, as by signing on, im sure her mum will loose her tax credits and such likes.