Furious at job centre unprofessionalism!

barbarawright

cazziebo wrote: »

Thanks everyone. She is getting counselling and psychiatric support. Her aftercare has been quite impressive really- good old NHS.

I'd had a couple of glasses of wine last night when I posted - always a mistake! However, I'm surprised about the number of people who think this is acceptable behaviour from a job centre employee. I certainly wouldn't accept any of my employees making a personal remark to a customer. This wasn't a cosy chat - it's part of the process of claiming benefits by someone who has been declared unfit to work.

So what is and isn't acceptable?

"You're a bit fat - why don't you lose some weight?"

"Terrible dress sense, ever thought of seeing a style counsellor?"

"three children - why didn't you stop at 2?"

All could be well meaning. All could be acceptable as part of a chat with friends. As comments from someone who has an element of control over your livelihood - not acceptable. IMH(sober)O!

I work on the staff side of a counter (in a library rather than a job centre) and you'd be amazed at the sort of personal remarks made by readers (I've been asked if I've though of losing weight, for example :rotfl:). . But to be honest I would think that 'Will they be able to sort out the scar with plastic surgery' is perfectly well-meant though it might be a little annoying the 50th time you hear it. I realise your sister is going through a difficult time but I imagine she's going to hear similar comments many many times and will have to learn to live with it. Harsh but true.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

cazziebo wrote: »

Thanks everyone. She is getting counselling and psychiatric support. Her aftercare has been quite impressive really- good old NHS.

I'd had a couple of glasses of wine last night when I posted - always a mistake! However, I'm surprised about the number of people who think this is acceptable behaviour from a job centre employee. I certainly wouldn't accept any of my employees making a personal remark to a customer. This wasn't a cosy chat - it's part of the process of claiming benefits by someone who has been declared unfit to work.

So what is and isn't acceptable?

"You're a bit fat - why don't you lose some weight?"

"Terrible dress sense, ever thought of seeing a style counsellor?"

"three children - why didn't you stop at 2?"

All could be well meaning. All could be acceptable as part of a chat with friends. As comments from someone who has an element of control over your livelihood - not acceptable. IMH(sober)O!

It sounds as though she meant to be supportive and sympathetic, but it came out wrong.

There are treatments available for keloid scarring, by the way. They may or may not be successful, but they're out there. But people generally have to ask for them, and it sounds as though the trauma your sister has been through has meant she hasn't been in the place psychologically to think of asking, possibly because, as you say, there's a strong element of 'at least I'm alive'/it sounds really shallow and ungrateful to be bothered by it.

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/skin/Pages/Keloidscarring.aspx



If people don't ask questions, they can't learn something that might be able to help somebody else they encounter with a similar problem; some of my friends have asked about RA because they know I have it, as does another friend, but we have significant differences in how it affects us (she has it in a couple of joints severely, I have it widespread and get some of the systemic symptoms she doesn't); I got great advice on dealing with mild eczema/extremely dry skin that itches like hell from time to time from another friend who has psoriasis - he just noticed and offered the information. Should I have been offended that he'd noticed? Or that another friend asked why my fingers aren't straight and couldn't anything be done to stop them twisting?



It's very new and raw to her right now, so not wanting it to be mentioned is an understandable reaction, but I really don't think the woman really did anything warranting complaining about.

marisco_2

I am really sorry to hear how much your sister has been through and is coping with OP. On top of now recovering from all the medical procedures, it must be very hard for her to accept that she has been medically retired against her will. It will not be easy for her during this difficult time of adjustment, but she is lucky to have loving and supportive family members like yourself around her.

Up until the point that the job centre advisor commented on your sisters scar, it sounds as if she was being professional, informative and helpful. From the way you have portrayed the incident, I think it was more an error of judgement on the advisors part, rather than her saying anything intentionally to cause such hurt and distress to your sister.

However you decide to handle the situation from here, I hope that your sister will receive all the support she needs, and makes a steady and full recovery in time.

prowla

cazziebo wrote: »

"You're a bit fat - why don't you lose some weight?"

Applicant: I've not been able to get a job because I am so big and all that people see is my weight.
Assistant: Are you able to join a group to help you lose some weight?

cazziebo wrote: »

"Terrible dress sense, ever thought of seeing a style counsellor?"

Applicant: I went to my last interview wearing a "Nobody knows I'm gay" teashirt..
Assistant: I strongly recommend you consider what is appropriate to wear for the given situation..

etc.