Furious at job centre unprofessionalism!

bigmomma051204

Job Centre Advisor "Well Miss X, Thanks for coming in and I hope everything goes okay in the future"
Miss X " Thanks for all the help you have given me today... I am hoping that as things settle down I shall become more able to cope with the whole situation.. I just hate seeing the scars as a constant reminder..."
Job Centre Advisor ""Can't they do something about that? Plastic surgery or something?"


Context and tone, people!

pollypenny

Complete over-reaction from OP, stated that the JC woman was 'very nice'.

Yes, she well and truly put her foot in it, but as others have said, help you sister to rise above such comments and move on.

Tygermoth

I'm with bigmomma051204 on this one.

I feel that the agent was trying to help. If we all stopped trying to help just in case we cause upset the world will be a worse place for it.

Dunroamin

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Really? Definetly not over reacting IMO. We all have things we're sensitive about, and those scars can be quite noticeable sometimes, and hard to cover up if you don't want to wear a scarf all the time especially in this warm weather.

Also, you know what it's like, some days you're maybe more emotional than other days, you let things get to you more, some days someone could say something and it might just wash over you, others it can bring you to tears maybe, and this it seems is what happened to the OP's sister. The poor girl has already been through so much, and then for some insensitive woman to make a personal comment....well, IMO that is just not on.

You don't go around pointing out things about people to their face. A complaint should definetly be put in.

Asking whether plastic surgery's going to be possible is hardly the same thing as pointing out that a scar exists - you make it sound as if she'd said "That's a horrible scar you've got there!".

Georgiegirl256

Dunroamin wrote: »

Asking whether plastic surgery's going to be possible is hardly the same thing as pointing out that a scar exists - you make it sound as if she'd said "That's a horrible scar you've got there!".

But it's still pointing it out and making it the focus of the conversation, and if you're in a fragile vulnerable state like the OP's sister is at the moment, regardless of how you word it, it's still going to strike a nerve.

If, as someone pointed out, the OP's sister raised the subject first, then asking that question is fine, as you're just following on the conversation, but if it just came out of the blue (which to me sounds more like it did), then it obviously took her by surprise and therefore upset her.

bigmomma051204

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

But it's still pointing it out and making it the focus of the conversation, and if you're in a fragile vulnerable state like the OP's sister is at the moment, regardless of how you word it, it's still going to strike a nerve.

If, as someone pointed out, the OP's sister raised the subject first, then asking that question is fine, as you're just following on the conversation, but if it just came out of the blue (which to me sounds more like it did), then it obviously took her by surprise and therefore upset her.

Of course it didnt come out of the blue! She was there SOLELY because of what has happened to her which INCLUDES her medical issues.

If she had been standing in the local post office queue and someone had said it, then yes your point would be valid! :cool:

southoftheriver

I don't have much to add to the above, but I wold recommend that when your sister is strong enough she contact the ITU. They often offer debriefing sessions where they can go through what happened when she was there, and answer any questions. It is recognised that people can get post-traumatic stress disorder after an ITU admission, and there are organisations that can help with this. They may have also kept a diary of her time there but that depends on the individual unit.

Hope your sister continues to recover physically and emotionally.

Georgiegirl256

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Of course it didnt come out of the blue! She was there SOLELY because of what has happened to her which INCLUDES her medical issues.

If she had been standing in the local post office queue and someone had said it, then yes your point would be valid! :cool:

If you can't see the point I'm trying to make, then I give up....i can't even be bothered to try and explain myself again.

Dimey

Guest101 wrote: »

I would complain, there's clear discrimination, which is completely unnacceptable.

There's nothing stopping her applying for work, just so you know. The JC in that sense have used a common sense approach. I would have thought she would be claiming ESA though, rather the JSA?

How is it discrimination?

The Jobcentre worker was obviously nice to begin with then made a stupidly insensitive remark to a vulnerable person. She was a twit not a discriminator.

Truly, what a terrible time that lady has been through. Dare I risk being accused of discrimination - I wonder whether she can get some counselling to help her cope and make her emotionally stronger.

cazziebo

Thanks everyone. She is getting counselling and psychiatric support. Her aftercare has been quite impressive really- good old NHS.

I'd had a couple of glasses of wine last night when I posted - always a mistake! However, I'm surprised about the number of people who think this is acceptable behaviour from a job centre employee. I certainly wouldn't accept any of my employees making a personal remark to a customer. This wasn't a cosy chat - it's part of the process of claiming benefits by someone who has been declared unfit to work.

So what is and isn't acceptable?

"You're a bit fat - why don't you lose some weight?"

"Terrible dress sense, ever thought of seeing a style counsellor?"

"three children - why didn't you stop at 2?"

All could be well meaning. All could be acceptable as part of a chat with friends. As comments from someone who has an element of control over your livelihood - not acceptable. IMH(sober)O!