Relationship advice desperately needed please

Mattygroves2

If you're going to carry on you need to sort out the position with his kids. He may have to go to court but he should have reasonable access that includes you and your kids. Have his kids even met yours ?

When my OH left his wife (for me before anyone gets confused) she tried to stop him seeing the kids with me there but he put his foot down and her solicitor agreed that it was an unreasonable condition to make so apart from the first few meetings I've always been there. If he's not committed enough to insist that you are a couple and that access must include you I'd question how committed he actually is.

I'd also be very worried about the "it's too far" to bring them back argument. We now live about 300 miles from his ex and the kids and until they got to 16 he used to make a long trip down to collect them by train on the Friday night and then the reverse on Sunday afternoon. Granted it was only every other weekend but I don't think either of us would have contemplated doing it a different way.

My OH works long hours (and always has) and it makes our weekends precious and he came with kids (so to speak) so it would have seemed very odd not sharing that relaxation time with them.

Sounds like you've got plenty to sort out before committing to selling your house and burning your bridges.

June_Cambridge

Oh CactusFlower, what would you say to a dear friend or sister that was in your situation??
Fingers crossed everything works out well for you

Errata

It very much appears he's quite content living in one house for part of the week and another one for the rest of it.
Perhaps he needs to explain why he's so content with that situation.