shaking like hell!

t42_2

Ecogirl, if you wish to keep contact between your ex and your children please do it through a contact centre. There will be people there to supervise the contact which does not put you or your innocent children at risk of harm.
Sorry to hear of your trauma, thankfully no one was hurt. I hope the charities can offer you something.
Thinking of you.x

ecogirl1

t42 we have been to the contact center before right at the start and never again!! it is run by ladies only and all are over 50 and as it was mainly fathers in there if anything had kicked off i am not sure what the ladies thought they would be able to do! as it is one big room we were sat in there with men who had sexually abused their step kids, men on drugs and i had to watch two children crying not wanting to look at their father walking round in circles trying to escape him to find out from their mother waiting patiently in the hallway for them that the court had made them be in there for at least half an hour and she was heart broken having to do make them stay there all i know is my kids have been through enough without having to see and hear even worse stuff! I have to hope he listens and gets help if not i can do no more and we will end up back in court! xx

gentleorange

I'm glad you're okay ecogirl. I just want to echo what has already been said. You have to put your children's welfare first. If you don't want to consider a contact centre - that does sound very grim - I would ensure that when he sees them that you have someone with you who could remove him from the house if he caused trouble. I have a parent with schizophrenia, and I had to take the painful decision of removing her from my life because I couldn't guarantee my childs safety.

I didn't read how old your children are, but if they are at the legal age to have their wishes taken into account (11 I think), then they wouldn't be forced to see him. You did the right thing reporting the incident. It's important to have official documentation.

paadzer

He should be sent to a psychiatric unit as he's got mental health issues and should get help as he may get worse. Is there any way he could be sectioned if he refuses help?

ecogirl1

tonight well about ten minutes ago i had three missed calls i checked the number on google and it is for the fermoy unit (mental health unit) in the local hospital - i am assuming it is the ex and he is finally getting the help he needs - not 100% sure why he is ringing me i guess because his family don't seem to care! tried to call back but got a lady out of hours and it covers a large area so she couldn't help!

Zanzib

Hope he has got help.

Sending hugs your way.

ecogirl1

yes he is in there and getting the help he needs x

ecogirl1

he is now out of the hospital and sent me a text saying visiting to resume as normal! am i suppose to just hand the kids over and hope nothing happens? visit is tomorrow! i have no idea what he has been diagnosed with no idea how long he has been out of the hospital and after i suggested he take the kids for a few hours to his sisters house and then bring them back just for this visit as im not 100% comfortable he went mad when i mentioned the car trip he said it was normal and he just got lost hmmm

gerimc

Do not let him have the kids, ring social services and ask them to supervise the visit! Good luck and remember that if he gets nasty, even in texts and phone calls, ring the police. xxxxx

Blulu

Agree with the above. From all that you've said, you should not be the one making the decision re his visits. You don't have the necessary information to decide if it's safe or not. Let social services take responsibility for this. Think of it as a starting point that you can all build from.

GL hun

Blu X