Sister driving me insane!

bananapop

Please delete.

kelpie35

I think your parents need to give her ultimatums.

It is their job to set the rules.

She needs to contribute to the family expenses and she is old enough to take on that responsibility.

Pechow

So... what does she want to do?

Everything you described does sound exactly like someone with depression-not having energy to do things, or always putting them off until later (and never getting around to it), not applying for things (there's also probably an element of "what's the point" or "I'm not good enough" in there too).

Is she getting any treatment other than counselling?

Treevo

It's nothing to do with you. Your her sister not her mother.

sukysue

She sounds like my dd1 ! lol! We had to really go on and on about her applying for uni and making her do it! The rows we had and sulks and showing off and tantrums but it made it all worthwhile cos she is doing a course and not sat on her behind in her bedroom .Just keep plugging away and nagging is what did it for us good luck op!

pigpen

I do know how debilitating depression can be but I also believe a good few people claim to be depressed when in actual fact they are just lazy or bored, so it might not all be down to depression.. I've been there with my own son.. once we got him off his bottom and out of the house things improved massively.. He was just feeling a bit 'meh' and lost and unsure of his place in the world and didn't know what to do or how to do the things he did want to do. He has been out of work again for a couple of months but we have him off to the gym and various recreational classes which is giving him the motivation to look for further classes and work rather than him sat moping watching tv

Maybe she is depressed, maybe not, but sitting in her room brooding is not going to be good for her at all. I totally understand your frustration with her, I doubt your mum feels much different. A lot sounds very much like a stereo-typical lazy can't be bothered world owes me a living type teenage attitude. It isn't a nice world for young people to be thrown into, job prospects are bleak, university = masses of debt they might never actually be able to pay off.. it is all pretty depressing!!

If she was mine she would have the 'college, uni or work.. even if voluntary work or else you are out of the house and fending for yourself'.. I wish we could endow our young people with the gift of knowing where their paths will take them in their future lives.. sadly this isn't possible.

My youngest sister sounds pretty much like yours except she is 26 and still like that! She did go to college but cannot do that kind of work as she has a back problem she is doing nothing to remedy and hasn't looked at retraining.. she is to lazy to even bother applying for jobseekers/ESA/DLA or anything else she may or may not be entitled too.. She can't be bothered to get her own prescriptions from the gp.. I could slap her!

Until she is faced with an ultimatum she will most likely just sit there.. but that is not yours to give, it has to be her parents dealing with it and you get to be frustrated at seeing her waste her life and them get taken for mugs! There isn't really anything you can do to change it.

Primrose

If her depression is being dealt with via the correct medication, perhaps your parents should consider locking her bedroom during the daytime so she can't lurk away. Are there any friends around of her own age who could spend a little more time with her to help get her motivated?

rosierosierosie

Hi bananapop,

This is a little like deja vu - my younger sister is quite similar.

We had previously discussed the fact that maybe she was suffering with something within the Autism Spectrum, such as Aspergers Syndrome. Do you think that this could maybe be something affecting your sister? Aspergers can come in very mild forms but leads to anti-social behaviour etc.

It may be that her depression is taking over. Are there even any little hobbies that she can involve herself with to spark her interest?

Rosie

Brighton_belle

herand wrote: »

Then why can't you mind your own business? You either want to support your Sister or you don't and going by the content and tone of your posts you would rather be judgemental and hostile than helpful.

I disagree, I think the OP really does care. It is very hard seeing someone drift so aimlessly, as it is very possible that the longer it goes on the harder it gets to break the cycle.

Acc72

herand wrote: »

going by the content and tone of your posts you would rather be judgemental and hostile than helpful.

Irony Overload.

morganedge

bananapop wrote: »

I just want her to start enjoying her life like she should be at her age.

You mean going out partying with her friends and stuff? She could do that now, couldn't she? (although I guess she'd need some money)

Some people get their enjoyment in other ways. Some people really enjoy their own company. It looks boring to outsiders, but we're all different.

Getting a job is the opposite of enjoying life in my eyes, but that's just me, lol.

I should add that i'm on your side to a degree, and you do sound like a caring sister.
I'm almost identical to her in a way, by the sounds of it.
Unfortunately, i'm a little older, and i'm still completely and utterly clueless as to what i'm supposed to be doing with my life.