Do you tire of being Alone?

lostinrates

decogecko wrote: »

My previous relationships. My late OH and my ex were very different people but still formed the same opinion of me = not good enough, not worth making effort for.

Most people have failed relationships, many of which end with hurtful things being said,.....but surely the majority of people cannot me more than averagely flawed?

It might be however that your self esteem is not in the right place ATM for a really equal relationship, based on your belief in that being the reason for relationship failures in the past.

Person_one

fawd1 wrote: »

There is nothing wrong at all with being single. At all.

Gee, thanks, glad you approve! :rotfl:

marisco_2

decogecko wrote: »

I know I'm worth a lot to me (I'm my happy ending). My mental health is paramount to me (suffered with depression whilst with late OH) and I don't want to put that in jeopardy again.

I don't close myself off to my friends, I'm lucky they are amazing.

Good on you for having such strength of character. You know life is worth the challenges it throws at you when you look back on what you've lost and realise what you have now is so much better.

tealady

I have been single for ages, and am very happy. I realised my last 2 ex's were selfish bar stewards and I was better off with just my great supportive friends.

janb5

You are only as miserable as you allow yourself to be. You can change your life and how you do that is down to you, but you need to be in control, not some horrorscope that tells you talk, dark, handsome is across the road from you, or the faked out womens magazines that tell you 2.4 kids is the dogs bollox, or (and on and on) It's your life, take it and run away with it and have fun

Well done Lifeforms for making me laugh and in my book `horrorscopes` will definitely replace horoscopes! No good at doing multiple quotes but it was a fab reply.:beer:

fawd1

Person_one wrote: »

Gee, thanks, glad you approve! :rotfl:

I don't think I was being offensive, the OP asked if we thought being single was a problem I merely answered the question. If you have such a chip on your shoulder about being single then I suggest you do something about it instead of attacking people that say that it's a valid and worthwhile choice.

burnoutbabe

I was single during most of my 30s and found you need to make lots of friends in similar situations (not necessarily single, just wanting to be out doing things you want to do). Going to the cinema alone is fine, I'd avoid Sat and friday night but early week is good.

I did meet someone 3 years ago so no longer single, that was online. But I still try and make the effort to see my single mates for the girly nights out and company. As one person cant be everything to someone, you need different people for different things.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Sometimes - but I hope it won't be forever & having had a few rubbish relationships behind me, I'd much rather be alone than in one of those again

I do love having the freedom to make all my own decisions though - & not having to answer to anyone for them!

Peater

I’m approaching 30 and have been single for over 5 years.

[EDIT: There is a massive difference between being single and being 'alone'. The first is a status, the latter is a state of mind.]

I was in a long relationship throughout my teens and into my 20’s, which while it was very nice and we got on great, i just had this amazing urge to get out of it. She was convinced that i’d dumped her for someone else and went a bit stalker-y for a time, seemingly not being able to comprehend that i just wanted to be on my own for a while.

Anyway, ‘a while’ turned into ‘ever-since’. And, i have to say, i can’t imagine going back into ‘that type’ of relationship again. I’m addicted to the freedom of being totally self-sufficient and doing what i like, when i like.

Of course, there are moments when i think ‘wouldn’t it be nice if......’ but these are few and far between. Mainly when i see a nice restaurant or something, i have found asking for a table for one really freaks people out. And when i do go a bit soft, it’s not long until an attached friend reminds me (directly or indirectly) of how the grass is certainly not always greener.

It’s certainly not easy being single. The entire social infrastructure is geared towards couples. This pressure will get to you if you let it, but once you see past it’s like seeing the world with new eyes. It allows you to rebuff remarks/pitying glances from your attached friends/colleagues. Another thing that used to bug me, but i have learnt to accept is when a friend becomes single, I’m suddenly in-demand. “When are we going out then?” “Fancy doing something this weekend?” etc etc. Then just when you get slightly used to a child like ‘bezzy-mate’, they meet the next desperate single and shack up within a week and you never hear from them again. My frustration has simply turned to pity. What tortured souls.

So, either you are single and unhappy/feel as though you should be unhappy or you are single and fine with it. It’s your call.