Do you tire of being Alone?

decogecko

Thanks OP & posters for this thread. I don't feel so alone in my thinking now.

I'm 32 and I've been single for 3 years since my OH passed away. He was a lovely person but not a great OH. (indiscretions, lies, nothing I did or how I did it was good enough)

I love being single. I have no one moaning at me, I can do what I want & how I want too. I'm far from perfect and I know I don't/wouldn't make a partner happy (despite trying my best too).

The biggest issue has been accepting that I won't have children. But for me, (and this is just MY opinion) I couldn't bring a person into this world if they weren't made with unconditional love and I know it's impossible for someone to love me unconditionally. Therefore having children isn't an option.

I'm enjoying creating a lovely garden and my house keeps me busy.

Netwizard

decogecko wrote: »

I'm far from perfect and I know I don't/wouldn't make a partner happy (despite trying my best too).

What makes you say that?

decogecko

Netwizard wrote: »

What makes you say that?

My previous relationships. My late OH and my ex were very different people but still formed the same opinion of me = not good enough, not worth making effort for.

fawd1

There is nothing wrong at all with being single. At all. In fact I would recommend enjoying that time as much as you can.

However, I would also say this. Don't get so set in your ways that no one else has a place in your life. Being alone is great, if you enjoy it. But be aware of becoming closed to every new relationship (whatever type) because you don't want change. Be alone in a way that is fulfilling to you, but also allows for others to be an important part of your life

marisco_2

decogecko wrote: »

My previous relationships. My late OH and my ex were very different people but still formed the same opinion of me = not good enough, not worth making effort for.

It could be argued that the opinions your ex's formed of you says more about what was lacking in them than yourself. Your previous relationships seem to have had a very detrimental effect on your feelings of self worth and confidence.

sweetme

decogecko wrote: »

My previous relationships. My late OH and my ex were very different people but still formed the same opinion of me = not good enough, not worth making effort for.

That just shows their character certainly not yours, I'd doubt either of them measured up to you at all.

I've been single for about 4/5 years now. It hasn't bothered me up until now because I've spent that time re-building mine and the kids lives. I'm 40 now though, and would really like to meet someone, have someone special. Just don't know how to go about it really, I am really out of touch with the whole dating scene.

decogecko

marisco wrote: »

It could be argued that the opinions your ex's formed of you says more about what was lacking in them than yourself. Your previous relationships seem to have had a very detrimental effect on your feelings of self worth and confidence.

I know I'm worth a lot to me (I'm my happy ending). My mental health is paramount to me (suffered with depression whilst with late OH) and I don't want to put that in jeopardy again.

I don't close myself off to my friends, I'm lucky they are amazing.

Angelicdevil

fawd1 wrote: »

However, I would also say this. Don't get so set in your ways that no one else has a place in your life. Being alone is great, if you enjoy it. But be aware of becoming closed to every new relationship (whatever type) because you don't want change. Be alone in a way that is fulfilling to you, but also allows for others to be an important part of your life

Oh dear, think I'm here already! Albeit happy.

Sneezy

I've been single for 12 months now (after a 12 month relationship) and I couldn't be happier - I used to dread having to spend weekends with him.

However both my sisters now have boyfriends and we're spending a lot less time together so I am feeling a little like a 5th wheel (7 of us went to Blackpool a coupe of weeks ago - my parents, sisters and their boyfriends and me :rotfl: )

Netwizard

decogecko wrote: »

My previous relationships. My late OH and my ex were very different people but still formed the same opinion of me = not good enough, not worth making effort for.

Like others have said, Those sort of comments say more about them, than you

Everyone is worth making the effort for in some way or another. I have a friend who has had a similar relationship and who gets put down a lot and has suffered mental health wise. Its a shame as she is lovely but i do fear her previous experiences have put her off for life also. She's only 30

fawd1 wrote: »

However, I would also say this. Don't get so set in your ways that no one else has a place in your life. Being alone is great, if you enjoy it. But be aware of becoming closed to every new relationship (whatever type) because you don't want change. Be alone in a way that is fulfilling to you, but also allows for others to be an important part of your life

Despite what I said to decogecko, I think I am there already too :rotfl::rotfl: