Wedding Dilemma

piglet74

I'm with counting pennys, I wouldn't go now, I would tell my work I no longer need the day off and I would save it for something I actually did want to go to.

Torry_Quine

Contact them and say that as your work have now been able to give you the day off you would like to come to the service. Don't mention the reception and if there is still a chance that they can have you there then they will tell you.

Brighton_belle

Joons wrote: »

You should go, remember they are under enormous stress with wedding arrangements, I doubt they're meaning to be nasty to you, if you now have the day off, you should go and enjoy and it avoids any bitterness, it's their day remember, not yours.

Perhaps they would have done better to scale down their wedding to a level they could cope with without being unpleasant to anyone?
Expressing disappointment as a reflection of how much they mean to you, is fine as long as it is along side complete understanding that it is just not possible for your guest to attend.

meritaten

I am sure that even though numbers have been submitted three weeks is enough notice for them to increase by one or two. most places don't ask for the final numbers until the week before. at least let your cousin know you can come - after much begging and pleading with the boss of course -if you cant have the meal you could perhaps go to the ceremony?

fluffnutter

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Personally I would not bother going.

They book a wedding on a working day, you tried to get the day off work in a new job. You inform them you are unable to get the day off but would like to get a present, and they get all funny with you.

I personally would save the day off for a time for you.

Talk about churlish!

Weddings can make people go a bit funny. OP, go to the wedding, have fun, don't make too big a deal of any of it.

Georgiegirl256

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Personally I would not bother going.

They book a wedding on a working day, you tried to get the day off work in a new job. You inform them you are unable to get the day off but would like to get a present, and they get all funny with you.

I personally would save the day off for a time for you.

Yes, me too. If they got all funny with you because you couldn't originally get the day off, even when you mentioned you were getting them a present....well, all I can say is, some people are never grateful.

Unless I was particularly close to this particular cousin, then it wouldn't really bother me by not going.

Do you want to go?

Turtle

I'd go if you want (and when you ring them they are receptive) and not if you don't.

Weddings make people go crazy. Husband and I declined an invitation to one of his cousins wedding as it was a Friday, I'd never met them, he'd not seen them in years and neither of us wanted to waste a day off on the occasion. Anyone would have thought the world had ended the way MIL acted when we said we weren't going and she's only the auntie of the cousin in question.

Dunroamin

peachyprice wrote: »

Just go to the evening?

Even better, just go to the actual wedding.

Georgiegirl256

Dunroamin wrote: »

Even better, just go to the actual wedding.

Or not at all! It sounds like the OP doesn't really want to go, and this would be the perfect excuse not too IMO.

fawd1

daisiegg wrote: »

Definitely contact and ask if it is still ok to go, though, as you say. I had a cousin who never actually responded to our wedding invitation directly at all, but we heard though her dad and other family members that she was going to be working abroad so would not be able to attend. She then announced (again not directly to us but through word of mouth, by asking someone for a lift to the wedding) ONE WEEK before the wedding that she would come. By this point it genuinely was too late to add her on and we had to make it clear that unfortunately she would not be able to attend. So I would not just assume, even with three weeks to go, that it would be ok for you to attend without checking first. It could be that they invited someone else in your place when you said that you could not attend.

If it makes you feel better, I had 3 cousins who 2 days before the wedding told me they couldn't come. Plus my FIL asking if he could invite an extra 7 people for the reception, at £65 a head. So, yes I did it, but no I didn't go to my cousins name ceremony. I figure they owe me £350.