Legal action against School due to the cost of School uniforms, Please advise

aliasojo

Poppy9 wrote: »

but at what age do you consider her grown up enough to have a say?

She's had a say since primary, she just doesn't get the last word.

I've always been happy to consider her choices but if and when she makes bad ones (imo) then I put the kibosh on them.

I'll back off either when she is able to make good choices for herself or when she's an adult.

Poppy9

duchy wrote: »

I think the age to "back off" for want of a better word......is when a girl is old enough to be aware what message certain styles of dress give to others -with some it's twelve with others it's fifteen-It depends on the child/young woman. Some are quite savvy early - some are clueless til later. I don't regard it as imposing my will but as taking responsibility as a parent until they are mature enough to make their own decisions and deal with understanding that other people will form an opinion of them from their style of dress.

But is it right to teach a child that they are judged on their appearance? I wouldn't tell my DD - wear a short skirt people will think you are easy? Wear a black bra under a white top and people will think you are a slapper. Wear red lipstick and nail polish and they will think you are a prostitute. Teenagers experiment with their look constantly. I may not like all the looks, I especially dislike the orange ompa loompa and Emo look, oh and foundation lips but it's their choice and I know it's only a phase. I don't think they are begging for it because of the way they are dressed.

Yes some small minded people do judge people on how they are dressed be it short skirts, bare chests, tattoos, piercings or dyed hair but it doesn't mean it's right. Many small minded people judge fat people but you wouldn't tell your overweight child to diet as others will think they are a greedy pig?

Generally in life there is a small window of opportunity to express your individual style as you usually go from school uniform to work uniform (formal or informal standard).

Parents should be encouraging their children to judge people on their actions not their appearance. Maybe then this will cut back on bullying in schools.

aliasojo

Poppy9 wrote: »

But is it right to teach a child that they are judged on their appearance?

This is just my personal opinion (and I'm not trying to make out I'm right ), but I think we do our children no favours if we raise them in an idealistic way rather than a practical way. If that makes sense? We live in a world where realism overrules idealism.

Life is as it is, my daughter needs to know that she will be judged despite it being wrong that this happens.

balletshoes

aliasojo wrote: »

This is just my personal opinion (and I'm not trying to make out I'm right ), but I think we do our children no favours if we raise them in an idealistic way rather than a practical way. If that makes sense? We live in a world where realism overrules idealism.

Life is as it is, my daughter needs to know that she will be judged despite it being wrong that this happens.

judging someone on their appearance is so subjective though isn't it? What you consider slapperish may be completely different to what I might consider slapperish, or what Poppy considers slapperish. I agree with Poppy, I don't think its right to judge someone on their appearance, especially youngsters who are experimenting with their look.

To be honest, I'm far more likely to do a mental double-take on someone I see wearing ill-fitting clothes, compared to someone wearing garish or revealing clothing, if it fits them.

Poppy9

aliasojo wrote: »

This is just my personal opinion (and I'm not trying to make out I'm right ), but I think we do our children no favours if we raise them in an idealistic way rather than a practical way. If that makes sense? We live in a world where realism overrules idealism.

Life is as it is, my daughter needs to know that she will[/Ie judged despite it being wrong that this happens.

I agree we have to be realistic and discuss the issues but I have just realised as she has matured I do not have the absolute right to dictate what she wears and buys with her own money. I also didn't want her lying or hiding things from me. i.e. some girls when she was in school would ask friends to "mind" their make up bag as they were banned from make up so would get to school and apply it and then remove before they went home or before their parents were home. Some did it with hair stuff if their family thought they wore veil all day!

I do think there is a line between guidance and nudging in right direction though to an outright ban. i.e. If you spend enough time dissing the OTT prom dresses when the time comes they go for a more tasteful option!:T

balletshoes wrote: »

judging someone on their appearance is so subjective though isn't it? What you consider slapperish may be completely different to what I might consider slapperish, or what Poppy considers slapperish. I agree with Poppy, I don't think its right to judge someone on their appearance, especially youngsters who are experimenting with their look.

To be honest, I'm far more likely to do a mental double-take on someone I see wearing ill-fitting clothes, compared to someone wearing garish or revealing clothing, if it fits them.

My pet hate is "tramp stamps" but I realise that it's just a fashion, albeit one that lasts a life time! I don't actually think the person is a tramp!

balletshoes

Poppy9 wrote: »

I do think there is a line between guidance and nudging in right direction though to an outright ban. i.e. If you spend enough time dissing the OTT prom dresses when the time comes they go for a more tasteful option :T

oops - I may have to change tack over the next couple of years then, because I've been raving about a gothic prom dress that a girl my DD knows wore to her year 11 prom last week, it was all basque bodice and ragged layers, and I loved it . Worn with the girl's blue fringe and the rest of her hair up in prom style, she certainly stood out from the crowd!

aliasojo

Poppy9 wrote: »

I also didn't want her lying or hiding things from me. i.e. some girls when she was in school would ask friends to "mind" their make up bag as they were banned from make up so would get to school and apply it and then remove before they went home or before their parents were home.

That reminds me when my brother was in Secondary school (he's mid 50's now) and he used to take a jumper in his bag to school. He'd walk halfway, nip into one of the tenement hallways, take off his tie and stick on this jumper. :rotfl:

Mum was a stickler for school uniform, she'd have killed him if she'd known.

Sooooo mild compared to today's 'sins'.

Janepig

Poppy9 wrote: »

It might not be to our taste, just like the boys showing their pants while their trousers head towards their ankles but this is a free country where women can dress as they please.

I would have objected to DD wearing her clothes to school in such a way but then I think about some girls in DD school forced to cover their heads, arms and legs becasue their parents demand it and I wonder what right do I have to force a person to dress in a certain manner.

Complying with a reasonable school policy is different.

It's the complying with school policy I'm on about, in truth I don't care what people wear. I don't understand why the school allow them to dress like that. In fairness to the boys, I never see any with their pants showing!!

Jx

Poppy9

Janepig wrote: »

In fairness to the boys, I never see any with their pants showing!!

Jx

It was rife around here! I just never understood it as it looked uncomfortable and I would have been constantly hiking them up in case they completely fell down!

neverdespairgirl

One odd thing I see sometimes - women wearing jeans that are a bit too tight, and come lower down on the backside than you might want, with ar5e-floss thongs digging in over the hips, showing above the jeans.

It isn't a pretty sight.