What he said

blinkingbank!

V.long story try to make it short.
My bf and 1 decided couple of months back to end relationship but keep being friends-I had found out in January he was cheating on me so this was easy for me to deal with.

I moved house a few weeks back only to get a phone call by another girl he was seeing while he was with me-we talked-all 3 of us talked. He wanted to stay as friends with me but I didnt really want I wanted to have a fresh start without him he then said if I dont be his friend he will stalk me follow me to college be at my childrens school etc so I said ok to friends.

He was still seeing this other girl but saying it was more of a friendship thing.

I went away to see family this week and before I went I told him I didnt want to come back cos of the mess the whole thing is in, he cried,begged me to come back told me he "wouldn't get me go" if I didnt say I would come back so I said I would. So I did.

He picked us up from train station today and he came back home here just to show he had painted kids room.

He then said the thing with this girl was over, his mum wasnt talking to him also because of the mess.

This girl then shows up asking why he had lied to her-he told her I wasnt due home I then said "He just told me u were over" to which she said "no he asked me to marry him this week, told me he loves me and wants my baby".
Thing is I had slept with him on Monday so I told him to tell her which he wouldnt do and wouldnt do today but she guessed so she went mad hit him and started shouting (I hate violence) and I just stood there shocked.
While he was trying to get away in his car she told me that he told her he didnt want to be a friend hes only around for kids, without him in their lives they would have a crap life and Im a !!!!!! mum to which he denied he said. I obviously was upset and hurt by what he said.

Why would he say such a horrible thing when my kids are me and I do my best, everything for them ? I'm so devastated by what he said that it has now got me questioning IF i am a !!!!!! mum...

MonkeyLady

Oh blinking I'm sure you're not a bad mum. Your ex sounds like a bit of a nightmare and highly confused. Sending you lots of hugs, sounds like you need it. :grouphug:

gerturdeanna

I don't think you are a !!!!!! mum!! I think he's a !!!!!! ex and she's a stirrer...he is playing you both!!

mae

First of all it sounds like you are really hurting at the moment and are very confused. Take a step back and look at the situation.

Do you think 'friends' should be threatening to stalk you if you won't be their friend? Or is that bullying you into being his friend?

Didn't you say you wanted to not be friends anymore because it is easier that way? So who are you going to keep happy him or you?

Do you think you are a good mum? Do you keep them safe? Do you feed and clothe them, show them love and affection and give them your time?

Does he still have a key to your house as you said he painted bedroom while you were away?

It sounds to me that you need to take some control back of your own life and decide if YOU actually want to be his friend, girlfriend or nothing at all anymore. Surely you should decide what is best for you and your children firstly before you do what makes him happy?


What in your opinion makes a good friend anyway? Has he been fitting the criteria or do you deserve better 'friends'. Maybe you could right a list of what are good qualities that you would like in a friend and want you think you deserve from a friend.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

thesaint

Where does the "Money saving" part kick in?

lynzpower

I think this fella sounds very bullying.

I would not say he is in any position to cast the first stone, given the state of his own behaviour.

He sounds very messed up and I wouldnt trust a word he said TBH.

Hugs sugar, youll do OK without him. Dont let him scare you. xx

alwaysonthego_2

thesaint wrote: »

Where does the "Money saving" part kick in?

come on, have a bit of sympathy :rolleyes:

changkra

thesaint wrote: »

Where does the "Money saving" part kick in?

OK

So, shes either going to end up with less money when he leaves or she could actually end up with more, depends on how much he likes spending. which means she may need a little advice about the whole scenario but hasn't quite got around to the money part yet

Will that do ya

vaio

MonkeyLady wrote: »

………… Your ex sounds like a bit of a nightmare and highly confused………..

and that’s “highly confused” as in complete and utter knobhead

Scarlett1

oh my goodness get rid of him and quick, he sounds a right nut job, if you cant do it for yourself then at least do it for your children

blinkingbank!

Thanks everyone, his mum knows cos he told her and a few weeks back I thought he killed himself so I phoned her and told her the rest.
Money part-he owes me a new bed-he has put deposit on one but hasnt paid for it fully, i cant pay for it myself as its expensive so what do I do ?
Havent heard from him since yesterday, going away to stay at friends today.