Is child maintenance for school expenses?

iammumtoone

Deleted_User wrote: »

Yes that makes sense, I have deliberately now taken on work which avoids all child care costs, which my ex husband and I would have shared. But by doing so, my income is now quite low. I have saved him money but at the expense of that and of course being sefl employed I don't have sick/holiday pay.

When you say your ex would have shared childcare costs, did he share that cost when you were together or when you were apart? If you were sharing that cost when you were apart then yes you have saved him money and I think you have every right to ask for a share of this. However if you were sharing costs when you were still a couple then "officially" when he left and starting paying maintenance then all the childcare costs would have been your responsibility (along with the help you would have got towards these via WTC which would be higher than before as it would no longer take into account your exs wage)

valk_scot

I think it would be reasonable to discuss splitting the cost of a big incidental expense, like a school skiing trip or somesuch that cost several hundreds of pounds. I would say school uniform and swimming lessons were everyday expenses though and covered by child maintenance.

zzzLazyDaisy

Deleted_User wrote: »

Thank you for your replies, they are helpful.

So the general consensus seems to be that CM covers all school supplies except school trips/school swimming lessons.

Thank you.

No that's not correct.

Legally the NRP's financial obligation ends with paying CSA (unless it is a wealthy family where such things as school fees and owning a horse are in issue, in which case there may be grounds for going to court over these additional costs).

It may be possible to negotiate with the child's father for an extra contribution towards 'one off' additional expenses such a school trips, but that would be an entirely voluntary payment and completely up to him whether he wishes to do make the extra payment.

As he is already paying more than CSA rates, there is always a risk that if you push him, he may simply drop his regular contribution to the legal minimum as set by CSA. Only you know how amenable he is likely to be.

justme111

Op, there is no wrong in asking indeed. What was not very tasty is that you phrased your question in terms of "what it covers" as if talking from entitlement point of view. It all fepends on how you come actoss when asking , either making him feel he should pay or asking nicely. My daughters father pays less than he shpuld. I do not mind as I am not on a bread line and he lives far as has expenses associated with travelling to see her and for some other reasons. I had a bril idea to ask him to pay for her lessons in a subject which is very close to his heart and he said yes and he is pleased he can do something tangible , he talks to her teacher and monitors her progress and everybody is happy.
Re your childcare costs - u don't think your ex would have paid any different amount whether you pat for childcare or not so you have not saved him any money.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

It all goes into the pot for everyday expenses. If the pot can't afford for a child to go on an expensive trip, then it's worth asking but if the pot can't afford it, and you can't find the money for the child to go then surely...they don't go?

duchy

Deleted_User wrote: »

Yes that makes sense, I have deliberately now taken on work which avoids all child care costs, which my ex husband and I would have shared. But by doing so, my income is now quite low. I have saved him money but at the expense of that and of course being sefl employed I don't have sick/holiday pay.

I wondered if its fair of me to ask for help towards these costs when its him leaving that has put me in this position.

I want to be seen as doing the right thing and not manipulating the situation by going all "woe is me", IYKWIM.

Presumably your tax credits have increased as your pay has dropped though.

BTW Playing the guilt card often works early on but it gets very old very quickly with a lot of NRPs

crazychaos

My partner has his daughter nearly half the time, provides everything down to toothpaste for her and receives not even a toothbrush when it's his weekend. He also pays CM and buys her items of school uniform and the ex is still asking for more money. I have been getting virtually nothing from my sons father who may or may not see him three or four times a year and I'm not bitter as I just get on with it but this woman baffles me with her greed. He loves his daughter and would do anything for her. Money is not always the most important thing for a child, it's mostly quality of time. But unfortunately these women are not unusual in their assumption that the father should pay and pay and pay.....god forbid he may need to also keep a roof over his daughters head at his own home.......

Funky_Bold_Ribena

crazychaos wrote: »

My partner has his daughter nearly half the time, provides everything down to toothpaste for her and receives not even a toothbrush when it's his weekend. He also pays CM and buys her items of school uniform and the ex is still asking for more money. I have been getting virtually nothing from my sons father who may or may not see him three or four times a year and I'm not bitter as I just get on with it but this woman baffles me with her greed. He loves his daughter and would do anything for her. Money is not always the most important thing for a child, it's mostly quality of time. But unfortunately these women are not unusual in their assumption that the father should pay and pay and pay.....god forbid he may need to also keep a roof over his daughters head at his own home.......

Surely he keeps a toothbrush at his house for her?

iammumtoone

crazychaos wrote: »

My partner has his daughter nearly half the time, provides everything down to toothpaste for her and receives not even a toothbrush when it's his weekend. He also pays CM and buys her items of school uniform and the ex is still asking for more money. I have been getting virtually nothing from my sons father who may or may not see him three or four times a year and I'm not bitter as I just get on with it but this woman baffles me with her greed. He loves his daughter and would do anything for her. Money is not always the most important thing for a child, it's mostly quality of time. But unfortunately these women are not unusual in their assumption that the father should pay and pay and pay.....god forbid he may need to also keep a roof over his daughters head at his own home.......

Has your partner tried to say no? what would happen if he did? Maybe his ex just asks because she can and gets it?

Like I've said above my ex wont pay anything more than he does (which is below the CSA amount - but at least I get something others don't receive anything. He also doesn't keep any clothes or anything for my son at his house or buy anything for him). I have asked he said no, end off, I live with it, we manage. Nothing has changed because I didn't get anymore help, he still sees his son and we carry on as before. If your partner pays what CSA he should and buys extra (clothes etc) then maybe he should explain this and stop giving any extra.

Jinx

IMO maintenance money is to help towards any expenses that aid the child, starting with the basics of a room over his/her head, heat, food, clothing and then if possible the niceties - pocket money, days out, holidays and school trips.

I always paid for all my daughters uniform, all school expenses and when she went on a one-off very expensive trip my bonus paid for it (as I value travel, culture etc) Certainly her dad made no contribution to trips and it only happened because I could afford it. Its the same with hols, I pay and he then contributed £50 spending money.

By all means ask for help if you have a good relationship, it cant hurt.