Is child maintenance for school expenses?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

If the NRP is paying the correct amount then the remainder of the cost of raising of child should be paid out of the PWC's salary, child benefits and child tax credits.

Having said that, I think it's ok to ask for more from the NRP, just as I THINk it's ok for the NRP to say no, if that makes sense.

moomoomama27

Child maintenance should cover everything a child needs, if paying the correct amount, I don't think it's fair for thePWC to expect anything extra towards the child's upbringing, of course that doesn't mean that the NRP can't pay more, but IMO what is received in CM payments should cover the NRPs half, and I speak from experience of both sides ofte coin!

duchy

Legally all the NRP has to pay is support as calculated by CSA-anything over that is a plus. Morally is another matter which appears to be what you are asking.

There is no obligation for the NRP to contribute towards school trips or extra activities like swimming. The government expects the PWC to fund those from the child support. Frankly it doesn't matter what people on a forum or "real life people" (whatever they are !) think-It's what you and your child's father agree between yourselves.

[Deleted User]

Yes that makes sense, I have deliberately now taken on work which avoids all child care costs, which my ex husband and I would have shared. But by doing so, my income is now quite low. I have saved him money but at the expense of that and of course being sefl employed I don't have sick/holiday pay.

I wondered if its fair of me to ask for help towards these costs when its him leaving that has put me in this position.

I want to be seen as doing the right thing and not manipulating the situation by going all "woe is me", IYKWIM.

[Deleted User]

Frankly it doesn't matter what people on a forum or "real life people" (whatever they are !) think-It's what you and your child's father agree between yourselves.

Yes I appreciate that, but a fair unbiased starting point is always helpful to make an approach with.

pigpen

Deleted_User wrote: »

Yes that makes sense, I have deliberately now taken on work which avoids all child care costs, which my ex husband and I would have shared. But by doing so, my income is now quite low. I have saved him money but at the expense of that and of course being sefl employed I don't have sick/holiday pay.

I wondered if its fair of me to ask for help towards these costs when its him leaving that has put me in this position.

I want to be seen as doing the right thing and not manipulating the situation by going all "woe is me", IYKWIM.

If you have an amicable relationship it can't hurt to ask really, can it?.. the worst he can say is no and you've lost nothing by asking!

If you have a functional relationship when it comes to your child that is a huge plus for all of you..

I'd not go in by presenting a bill for 'half' the expenses I'd just say you've just had to fork out a substantial chunk of cash for his school things and would he be willing to make a contribution towards it.

Caz3121

how much over the CSA rate is he paying?
The worst case is you ask, he does not respond well and you end up with the CSA involved and you end up with less than you currently receive
Do you receive child/working tax credits to supplement your income?

Tiddlywinks

It depends...

There is the "official" position where the NRP pays the minimum required... and then there is the NRP that wants to contribute to the actual costs of the child; school trips and all.

Each situation is different... levels of animosity between the parents, whether there are new partners on the scene, whether one or both of the parents are working or on benefits... even personal "values"... all impact on what people see as "fair".

You can only have the conversation with your partner and see what can be agreed.

iammumtoone

My ex pays less than he would have to via the CSA (he is self employed and a solicitor advised me to take whatever he offers and not argue as the CSA cannot touch self employed people)

I have asked him to help out with extras (beaver trips) but he has refused, he also refuses to pay anything towards birthday parties etc.

Only you know the relationship between you and you ex, if it is good then there is no harm in asking but just beware what others have said if he takes it the wrong way then you could lose out if he decides to go through CSA. I suggest that rather than asking for an extra amount per month you ask that he helps with something that is directly going to benefit the child(ren) ie that he pays / go halves for school trips / swimming lessons / birthday parties etc.

justme111

Deleted_User wrote: »

Thanks, I have conflicting opinions from RL people.

Some think maintenance should be for day to day living cost, like housing/food/general clothing and towards the cost of running the marital home - which my ex would prefer us to stay in.

Some think that school expenses are additional costs not covered by child maintance and should be a shared expense by parents.

I wanted to gauge what is fair before I approach their father. He does pay a bit above what the CSA would suggest if that helps.

Yeah I thought you asked for that reason . Because you would want more money from your ex. He is under no obligation to pay it. If I was him and you done a spreadsheet showing him how much money you spend on kids and what additional money would be for I might consider it though