The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Byatt

Books were always my escape in childhood & beyond, they saved me really, because sadly my childhood was not safe. I devoured books, so much so, the local librarian was not convinced I read each and every one of them, as I often returned to the library more than once a day. She would ask me what the story was about!

Shegar, sadly, you are going to have to be very vocal, very persistent, call SS every day if necessary, let them quake when they hear your name. It was the only thing that worked when I needed support for my DD...people knew me who had never met me. One thing I find, is writing to them too, setting out what you have done, what you were told and what your health is like. Make it a dissertation if necessary, because once they have something, or lots of somethings, in writing, they do have to respond. Emphasise the state of your health now, what it was like even just 12 months ago and how it will deteriorate, and thye will have 2 people to care for not one.

meanmarie

Hugs and positive vibes oon the way to all in need of help...no advice to offer on school attendance problem, just hope that someone finds some common sense to help you Lobbyludd.

Very tired again tonight, Christmas cake and pudding still not made, really need to sort out my sleep pattern.

Stay safe and well

Marie

kidcat

evening toughies -

sending hugs all round as I think we could all do with them

Shegar - I agree with Byatt, those that shout loudest get dealt with quickest. Can I ask what would happen if you refused to take DH back this time? I dont know how it works with adults as its ages since I dealt with it, but I remember a woman at church who couldnt get help so she simply refused to take him back, changed her door locks and went on holiday - they had to sort a placement then.
I am not sure whether it would work and its not ideal for either you or OH. I would also suggest starting to look at long term placements yourself, find out where has the space, that you like and think are good, that way when SS do eventually help you are prepared and armed with info

lobbyludd

what a lovely way of putting it byatt - and you're absolutely not bringing people down princess.

hugs to those who would find them useful.

wondercollie

It's cold and I'm needing to make a doctor's appointment. I've an ear infection and it's starting to affect my balance. Oh, and going out into the cold hurts. -19 is our high and the windchill is taking it down into the -30s.

I look like the Michelin man in my downcoat.

I'm also fed up of Christmas and it's not even here. My reading club does a Secret Santa. It's an online group, and I've met a few of the members at book conventions. My Secret Santa victim is a new member and honestly, I don't like her and I've never met her! The spending limit is $25 and postage ontop. We make joke wishlists and go to town. I always say surprise me. We all read the same type of books and like chocolate, so it's a fun surprise to open the box. My person posted a very detailed list of stuff. None of which cost $25. I could send an Amazon gift card for specific books that she wanted. No surprise there. Some quilted handbag accessories that Americans love (started at $35) or specific mugs from the Disney Store. I emailed the organizer with an "is she serious joke". I'd already decided it was going to be a Canadian theme and the organizer said stick with it. I just need a few more little items and it's going into the mail. I know she's not going to like it but Secret Santa isn't about telling people what to get you!

I hope you all are warm and safe and enjoying your books. My poor dog hasn't been out for a walk in days because he doesn't want to go because it's too cold.

ginnyknit

Wondercollie, doesnt sound like she has the proper spirit for secret santa, Im sure most real people would love something you have thought about and chosen with care. I do a secret santa with a group of kind friends who just give a hint of their tastes but absolutely love whatever they are sent and I always get something lovely back too that I treasure. Its kindness of spirit that counts not luxury items. Boy I would be hiding in the cooker if I lived there but obviously you are prepared and used to it - sending you hugs and hope the ear recovers fast x

I love everybodys posts but Byatt that was very moving to hear about your childhood and excellently expressed as was the earlier one about counselling.

fuddle

My training is going great. The company seems very good, don't offer cut down priced services to councils and don't bid for anything short of 1 hour care slots.

During the breaks our conversations turned to OS related subjects. One 'very experienced' lady didn't like that I could hold my own in that area and proceeded to disagree with all I was chipping in with. There would be a time when is get upset over it - now I just think she had a point to prove and has a bigger ego than me. I'm quite happy to leave my ego at the door because I think I'm entering a world of work where there's no place for it. Further into the session we were all told about her experience to some length. The trainer dealt with it by saying that all the experience in the world does not compensate for the lack of a caring, genteel approach to person centred care. She went onto say that she could tell just by the way we presented ourselves in training, our body language and the way we interacted who would make the grade as a carer and that with her company it has very little to do with experience as that can be a veil for bad practise habits, but the person delivering the care.

I do know I will need to toughen up and remember that it's not about how I feel, look at the reasons why someone is letting their anger and frustrations out at me and have to deal with some uncomfortable situations.

I've decided to not make myself available for evening work as well as 5 hours during the day. I think it will be too much. 25 hours per week us alternate weekends is enough I think. I know ii can't cope with flat out work patterns and that family time is so important for me.

Itching to try bread in the slow cooker. Apparently it can be done. Anyone tried it?

Night washes are working well ad so is drying through the day with the towel rail heating the closed off bathroom. I also need the extractor an light bulb going so wasting electric but OS in that I had a problem and worked out a solution for the here and now. Hopefully it won't be too long until I can get the tumble dryer... I miss my radiators!

DH is away tonight so a quick meal on the cards for the kids and I. I'm thinking chip butties with a fruit salad for afters with yoghurt and honey

I found where the market is. I can't get there till after school pickups tomorrow but I'm keen to visit the weekly food stalls see if I can pick up anything left. There's a wool stall too apparently

I think it's time to get up because if I fall asleep now I shall be a grizzly bear when the kiddies awake. Coffee, a few dishes and packed lunches on the cards for me.

Oh, £5 for my passport photo taken! I only need a picture for my identification badge! £5!! I could have umpteen developed 6x4 for that price. I'm learning that I expect my money to work very hard indeed. Anything less is wasteful/unfair/exploitation in my eyes. I dread to think what I'll be like in the coming years... moths an purse (probably crocheted!) springs to mind

Hard_Up_Hester

We have a new member of staff who, when she was asked if she waned to join our secret santa refused on the basis that 'it was a step too far' I'm still wondering what that meant.
Same staff member has a b'day coming up during the holidays, I went in to ask if she wanted to celebrate before or after the holidays, she said she'd get back to me. Then went to my line manager & claimed I was harassing her. !!!!!!, I asked her a question, once, I think she needs to grow up, she chose to join in the birthday club when she joined us, no one forced her. And breath!
Hester

kidcat

Oh dear Hester she has clearly had some really bad experiences, how sad that as a result she is missing out,

fuddle - sounds like you are enjoying it

WC - I would be very tempted to buy something really tacky and cheap

Its a horribly long day here, I have my usual stuff and then group as well. Followed by pick ups (which are really bad on a Thursday) and then at 5pm there is a PTA event which will be my last as Chair, I cant take the veiled threats, abuse and general nastiness - I was told yesterday that I shouldnt get a say in what refreshments we provide as I am too posh and dont understand the area - err I lived there for ten years!! Expecting to be home at 10pm which is far too late but I just want this event over so I can leave.
Added to all this OH decided in his wisdom to put little car in for repair yesterday - someone from work gave him lift back to work etc - but I now have to add in speaking to mechanic today (mechanic refused to do it without my say so apparently - just shows even the mechanic gets it ) then picking up car and OH from work, 30 miles away. I really could have done without it on this particular day, mechanic knows how busy I am today and did say I think you would do better coming back at weekend, she said she is not using either car then!!

I treated myself to a manicure yesterday, I had a special offer coupon and my hands were horrific, she was lovely and not judgemental at all, I didnt feel at all intimidated or uncomfortable. She has kindly offered raffle prizes for our support group if we run a raffle and has said she would be wiling in the new year to come in and do free hand massages for carers, so I think I got real value for money.

I was thinking yesterday for all the nastiness and back stabbing of the other group, I am so fortunate in that I do have some good people who are watching out for me and are all in my corner, the mechanic has made me chuckle and the electrician rang to say he had seen me driving past his road and the brake light was out - he is going to call today and come out to me to sort it for me

alfsmum

Morning toughies,

Just a heads up for Alldee shoppers that the Daily Expre@@ has a £5 off a £40 spend voucher today, valid until Weds 11th Dec. I had to think if it was worth the outlay of 50p for a paper I wouldn't normally buy but decided to go for it as I am using Alldee more often. Very fussy Dd19 has grown to like some of their items which her BF's Mum buys and often asks me to get the, so I'm finding other things there that get the thumbs up from the family. This morning has seen me doing a sneaky top up of our branded ketchup bottle with Alldee's own as Dd16 is a real ketchup fiend.

Hope anyone in the path of the bad weather is staying safe and warm . It's not expected to hit us but it is colder this morning with a stiff breeze. Beautiful skies last night and this morning.

Lyn how is your patient this morning?

PX87 how are you feeling? I'm on a similar path to you and have been offered one to one ACT therapy starting next week plus extra counselling at work to see if they can help. All pretty scary but if we don't pluck up the courage to do this things, we risk floundering in the same state of anxiety for years so I'm willing to try. You can read about ACT here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy if you're interested.

Been up since 5, just having a break for breakfast then driving to my Mum's house to check for post and pack up a few more things, not looking forward to it as it will be freezing there. Called to see her in the home yesterday, she was whiz zing up and down on her zimmer frame and started straight in on the toffees I took! Then it will be back home to get Dd and drop her for extra shift at her part time job, then on to work for a while (thank goodness for flexi time, one of our few perks). Will be listening with interest to the Autumn statement, don't suppose any of us will be better off as a result. It sounds fine on paper to say that people will have to wait till they are seventy to get a pension because we are all living longer, but how many of us will actually be physically and mentally able to do that?

Well done Fuddle by the way, just smile sweetly at the 'experienced' lady. Your trainer can obviously spot a good carer from an opinionated one!

Take care everyone and stay warm.