The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

kezlou

hahaha wondercollie what ya like! lol

Regarding Christmas...

We make our own of sorts , its the one day of the years where myself, OH and the children can be a family with no stress.

Its took a while but now i couldn't give two figs about the inlaws so OH knows for a fact were not going to spend the whole time with them. Well we'll go go if SIL is there with the babes, they so sweet.

Every year we start making our own decorations in the first week of December. I think its great as all chat and laugh while were doing it.
1st of December we watch a xmas film together with lots of popcorn and hot chocolate.

Normally about a week before Christmas we go out and buy our tree, this year were going to cut our own. Lads love this armed with 2 saws they go mooching for the perfect one. On the way back we either have a hot drink in a cafe or when we get home.
All gets decorated and its up right through till about the 4th January.

Christmas Eve, we normally go to my mothers house and the all the children open they new pj's (family tradition). Have a little tea party then trottle off home.

We then put out home made biscuits, chopped carrot and milk for santa.

Chirstmas Day no tv allowed at all before 9pm, instead we play board games and muck about. On the morning we have our special breakfast normally pancakes. open presents about 10ish. We then have a traditional sunday lunch for about 2/3pm, my dad normally comes over as does FIL.
For evening meal its simply just finger food.

We might round the evening with a film depending on whats happening.


OH hasn't always taken part he doesn't really like christmas, so its tradition for myself and the boys.

My partner isn't a Christian and can't stand religion, i myself have been brought up catholic. But i don't place this onto the boys, instead we use Christmas as a special time and the end of the year beginning of new life. A time for us to connect. We also celebrate the winter solstice and light candles especially for the occasion.

Instead we tell stories and chat chat everything.

If that makes sense.

glitterkitty

hello all,
loving all this talk of Christmas! Not sure what I will be doing on Christmas day this year, as my mum is not away at my auntie's, and BF's mum has invited her cousin round to her house, so its still up in the air if I will be going to my mum's and BF to his mum's, or if my mum will come to our house. Either way, I want to be home on my own sofa by 9pm for Downton Abbey!
For me, the best part about Christmas is Christmas eve, in the kitchen as it gets dark doing some baking and listening to the carols on Radio 4, and then the time between christmas and new year - fortunately I have been able to get the full period off from work every year for the last 8 years, and this year is no exception, so I enjoy just having a few days watching films, eating choc, crafting, reading and spending time at home.
Of course, this year is doubly exciting, because 12 days after Christmas is my 30th birthday, so I'm only back at work for 2 days then off again to go to London and the Harry Potter Studio Tour!!

Looks like its been frosty this morning. I've just been pottering around the house and watching some TV. Made a batch of mint chocolate truffles and rolled them in crushed up chocolate flake :-) We are heading to Leeds later on to see a band tonight, so we will probably go to Nando's for tea when we get there (whenever we are away in another city, we always seek out a Nando's or a Pizza Hut - both old faithfuls!)
I made a big pan of chilli last night, and there is plenty leftover so when we get home in the early hours if i'm hungry I can make myself a chilli beef burrito :-) mmm!
I keep trying to get my BF to tell me what he wants for Christmas, but as yet he hasnt come up with anything! I ordered him a guitar last night as its a discontinued model in a sale (reduced from £899 to £299!!) and although he said he is going to give me the money, I might pay for half of it as his Christmas present. He's a musician, so I can never really go wrong with guitars, drums, effects pedals etc!
Grabbed a 1l bottle of Baileys in Asda yesterday for his Granny's christmas present, and we have a bottle of whiskey in the cabinet we have been keeping since the summer for his dad. I just need to finish his granny's cushion cover I am crocheting, order my mum's present and then think of something to get for BF's mum and his brother! His brother has finally got a job, and he starts tomorrow, so he has big plans to treat us after christmas when he gets paid, since we have had him round to ours for tea quite a bit while he has been unemployed!

Well I've been showered, and now I should probably go and get ready since we will be heading off for Leeds about 3pm. I need to put petrol in the car and put oil in too, my car was making some terrible rattling noises the last couple of days - i know those sounds mean she needs some oil!
Hope everyone has a nice sunday, whats left of it!

kidcat

Oh I love Christmas but realised years ago I was kiling myself and missing the best bits, so I aim to get all the organisational stuff done as early as possible, this year I will be done by end of November. Then I can enjoy the school plays, carol concerts etc without a panic that I have forgotten to buy something. There are about four movies we watch every year and we sit down under duvets with curtains drawn, bags of snacks, and watch them, one a week usually throughout December. And again on Christmas Eve.

I usually have a very stressful Christmas Day as my parents come to us for dinner, but insist on arriving at a really bad time for us, dominate the kids, wind them up and generally send me batty. This year I am not inviting them for dinner and when they announce they are coming to bring gifts I am giving them a specific time to come later in the day after we have eaten our meal. On previous years if they were not coming for dinner they have ruined our meal by arriving just as I am serving.

Then we usually have to go to theirs for the day boxing day, something that began when DD19 was small and OH worked on boxing day, every year gets worse, as she wont cook anything so its all pizza and rubbish - I hate pizza, and would really appreciate someone cooking a nice meal for me, especially when I have usually spent hours the day before cooking for them, catering for their various tastes and dietary needs - so three types of potato, two sets of gravy and a choice of veg.

This year we are skipping the day at their house as we are still hoping to go away the next day for a few days, I have saved all year for it to be possible. Alternatively we have agreed to go out to breakfast with our support group which the kids enjoy and is much nicer for me.

I am really struggling today to direct everyone to do what is needed - uniforms are still not washed or dried, and no ironing being done, OH has decided he wants to do bits on cars today, I have said that has to come last. DD19 is in a bad mood after a telling off yesterday for not giving notice she was out for dinner. She is supposed to be helping DD7 with homework - she is a trainee teacher so not above her, and is losing patience, whilst the homework is ridiculous - produce a powerpoint on research into Victorians (age7) its not beyond DD19 capabilities when she puts her mind into it.

Byatt

This is probably the first year, in a long time, that I am surprisingly festive, I used to love Xmas and have missed that feeling. I love to give gifts and have been planning some surprises for my dear friends. My DD is getting a few things but main gift is a voucher for a half days' experience at a wildlife bird centre (I can go along as a spectator!)...I can just imagine her face when she sees it. I'm sure you felt the same Mrs LW about the lovely gift of a dehydrator you had one year.

I'm lucky in that she is spending Xmas with me this year (past 2 years she hasn't) as ex has other opportunites he's not prepared to turn down, but his loss, my gain.

So many people are alone at Xmas, either through choice or not, so I hope some people will put their money where their mouth is and maybe invite someone along to their home and share what they have. Not in an act of pity, but in an act of inclusion.

Kidcat, I hope you're still resting! I'm watching you...as is everyone else.

kidcat

Byatt - an experience day is a gift of a lifetime, and will be remembered forever.
And yes I am still resting, giving directions from sofa and lying down, its not ideal as lots of stuff they just dont understand but I figure as long as the main stuff gets done I can catch up later in week. I may have to iron polo shirts for kids though as OH wont iron anything other than his own stuff and its a skill DD19 has not yet acquired.

Have written instructions to make a curry for dinner - but forgotten to get chicken out of freezer - so ooops that will have to wait until tomorrow. Need to consider what else is possible instead that they can manage.

fuddle

Christmas has not begun here and not likely to till first week of December. We'll have one pay to do it and no access to credit. I had a wobble a week or so back but now not at all bothered. I had always planned on OS gifts anyway so crochet hook and sparkly wool, sewing felt kit, baking kits, not shop bought but assembled with what I have/can source.

You can imagine what I used to be like with gifts and pretence of loving family/putting on a false show but now nah, not for me and each year my kids have lowered their expectations of their 'pile' of gifts more so because we string the family time festivities out over a few days - more a celebration of solstice, light, love and what nature gifts us (messing around together in the great outdoors!) we gift the birds, making decs from pine cones/holly. We've made our own family tradition though - we always do something with gingerbread together. This year a huge (baking tray size huge) ginger bread man. Our meal will be a chicken dinner ate when it pulls in dark so we can eat in candle light around our camping table. A true family Christmas, just us.

I agree that Christmas should be however you want it to be and not fall into the debt and buying trap. It's nice to give and this year my gifts are mostly going to be handmade tokens. Time is running out but I've already kind of started.

Lyn I'm really interested on the Scandinavian traditions. Is there anything you can share?

Pooky

Kidkat, I never ironed polo shirts this time of year, if they've got a jumper on top then it doesnt show. Glad to hear you're resting and have a nice Christmas planned.

I adore Christmas, I love decorating my house, making new decs every year to add to what weve had for years is something I enjoy. I enjoy the run up to it with the cosy evenings by the fire. I love looking for little gifts for DDs that I know they'll love and I always make them stuff too. DH and I don't buy for each other, we don't buy for friends (but share a meal before or after Christmas) we don't buy for nieces and nephews when they pass 16 and parents get a useful present that they wouldn't normally treat themselves to. (this year my parents are having a subscription to netflicks - they both have lots of hobbies but do love to sit and watch a film or series together so we asked if this would be something they'd like and they jumped at the chance). My parents will buy us a box of chocs or a bottle of wine as a token but on their pension they can't afford more and I certainly don't expect anything. DHs parents have only just moved and downsized, they don't want for anything and theres nothing we want so have suggested we go out for a meal and treat ourselves to a taxi so everyone can have a glass of something.

I love the big fuss over the food too, I don't go mad but I do love to have lots of little tasty titbits for when we fancy them.

I'm going to start some new decorations this week after seeing some in a shop for £4 each...I can replicate for around 10p each and have everything I need in my craft stash.

My fleabay listings ended earlier and someone is on their way to take one of the items away - £100 cash I shall be using that to pick up my turkey crown and a bit of beef for the freezer for Christmas.....the rest will get put to good use on Tuesday when I'm off to France for the day.

FairyPrincessk

Afternoon all,

I've just been reading back. To those of you who have lost beloved pets, big hugs. It must be so hard to lose a companion and friend.

To those of you who are ill, I wish I could offer a nice big bowl of soup and some toast. I do hope that each of you can take it easy in the coming days. Whoever said beans on toast is fine is right! Really. Beans on toast, egg and oven chips, jacket spuds, pasta and sauce--its all fine. I hope you're feeling better soon.

On the topic of Christmas, I have mixed feelings. My family has been spread out for most of my life. Christmas is a big deal for my grandmother, but I don't think it matters much to the rest of us. We can rarely afford to see each other time or cost wise and that almost never happens at Christmas. Postage is likewise very expensive so we trade gifts in a much more irregular basis. My parents gave us a very generous gift last year so we'll probably skip it for a few years. OH's family celebrates much more traditionally with a meal and getting together as they are all in the same city. However, they don't trade extravagant gifts, usually a small food hamper or some new socks or something. I've never felt self conscious baking a big basket of goodies which I'm grateful for as I'd never be able to afford what most people call Christmas. I think it is nice if families can use it as an excuse to see each other, spend time together and show their affection. Its lovely if people can eat some nice food to cheer up the winter and relax a little. I also think that the myth of father Christmas can be nice for children--but I think it is so over done these days. I don't like seeing stressed out people in the city centre frantic about getting all of the right things and putting off thoughts of the bills until January. I don't like the gray faces I see in January in the supermarket when people can't afford much because they're paying off Christmas. I don't like the over-extended mums who end up on their feet all day and see no one. OH and I are still working out our own traditions. Last year we got a small tree. It was the first I'd had since I was maybe 13 or 14 when my family dispensed with it. We still celebrated but more just family time and gifts at my grandmothers. We usually go to OH's parents for a few days. The bus services are slow so we stay at theirs to save them running us back and forth. I'd like to see my parents one year, but it might be a few years yet before that works.

This year, I'm thinking I might try making a stollen!

[Deleted User]

Hej hej FUDDLE (hello in Swedish!) funnily enough DD1 has just given me a book explaining nordic christmases and thier customs so I'll cherry pick the nice things from it and let you have a list. We always celebrate Nickolaus on the 6th December as a hang over from living in Germany and tradition says children put out a shoe on the night of the 5th and if they've been very good the elves fill it with sweets and nuts and oranges for them in the morning, if they've been bad they get a piece of coal or nothing at all!!! The swedes celebrate Lucia day on the 12/13th? December and have special Lucia Buns for which I have a recipe and the oldest girl of the family dresses up in a white gown and a greenery wreath studded with candles on her head and serves refreshments to the older members of the family. The Finns have the Okkipulki Goat and he's the Tomte Goat in Sweden and he pulls the sleigh with the presents on for the Elves who are Nisse in Norway and Denmark and Tomte in Sweden and are santas helpers. These days the Tomte Goat is made from straw bound with red ribbons and is put down by the christmas tree to guard the presents. The Nisse are very mischevious in Denmark and if you don't give them a bowl of rice porridge ( for some reason put into the attick as that's where they live) they might hide your presents but if you do you might find a very special present from them in your shoe in the morning on christmas day. In scandinavian countries and in germany the christmas meal and presents are given on christmas eve and the older girls from the village dress in white robes and go from house to house to give presents to the good children, There follows 3 days of family visits and feasting. A custom in the part of germany we lived in was the Star Singers coming to the house, they are the choir from the church, and if you invite them in and give them refreshment they will sing you a carol and the priest with them blesses your home for the coming year and they write the date they were there on the lintel over the front door to keep you safe. So many nice things, just a bit different from the usual english christmas I've got loads of christmas recipes too if you want some, Lyn xxx.

cornishchick

Christmas will be a bit of a emotional roller coaster for us this year. We are going to spend it here at home with friends and family,so 18 of us.. my table seat's 6!,,!
But not allowed to do Christmas Dec's or sort anything definite until DH has had his birthday on the 7th December.. but he doesn't know I start my Christmas shopping in January every year ..
One of our traditions is every year we buy a new item for the tree reflecting the past year, for example last year we brought a decorative little house to hang, and a personalised burble with our married names on as we got married and moved house last year.
We are lucky that 2 of our friends who are coming are professional caters and they told me I don't have to do a thing... lol. I will want to do something, ....
My biggest problem is what to buy hubby, I really want to get his recorded cancer diary transfered from camcorder tapes to dvd but they are to precious to post off and the soft ware for transferring them isn't working on our laptop, tried loads of different sorts too.. will keep plugging away at it..

Hugs and love all.
X CC