The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Floss

I am going to request that this thread is now closed - Nuatha has set up a new thread for those who wish to post on it.

Ladyshopper

savingqueen wrote: »

I have been trying very hard to stay quiet about the recent upsets. I am sorry but I am going to say my piece.

There have been several times over the last couple of years, probably longer I loose count, that I have considered leaving the thread permanently. There is so much good on here, so much advice, wisdom, good humour and kindness, so many valued friends that I have stayed through thick and thin. It is a huge shame that many posters have left in the past and continue to do so or think about doing so. However it doesn't surprise me.

I know there are 2 sides to every story and that everyone has their problems and difficulties to contend with. I cannot pretend to know all that has gone on or understand it but this is what I see. 2 posters who don't see eye to eye and have been foolish and somewhat selfish in publicly demonstrating that. Both fuddle and kezlou should have kept their differences to themselves or in private messages. All that is easier said that done, as we all know. None of us are perfect, not one. I know I will have said things to annoy others, I hope not to upset anyone and I can only apologise if I have and try to learn from it.

However the other thing I see is one poster being very publicly supported by Mrs LW and lots of loyal followers. Of course there is nothing wrong with caring about people and demonstrating that but what I DON'T see is equal support for kezlou. You can support a friend in such a way that the other party - who is also feeling hurt and upset - doesn't feel worse. That is not fair.

I have never forgotten how our dear friend Popperwell (Pops) was hounded out of this thread. This man was unfailing in his support for fellow posters and his only "shortcoming" as far as some posters were concerned was his fear about coping on his own after his bereavement. This man was vulnerable and very attached to this thread and I am still upset about it to this day. I have worked on my own in forgiving those involved but I have not forgotten.

I do not want to see anyone bullied on here - not Pops, not fuddle, not kez, no-one. What I find particularly upsetting, distasteful and hypocritical is that some people who have experienced bullying, upset or similar are the same people who have upset people like Pops.

I am not on FB and do not PM often myself. However posters are entitled to be in contact with others outside of this thread or forum. People PM each other, email, text and phone. People post things and arrange meet-ups. Why is FB different? I have no problem with anyone contacting anyone, that is their business. What I do have a huge problem with is the nastiness that creeps and crawls its way onto this thread periodically. Why worry about outside trolls when we have people inside a "helpful and supportive thread" that cause such upset.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who have contributed in any positive way at any time on this thread whether to me, other individuals or just generally. This is the last straw for me, I am sorry to leave. I, like most if not all of us here, have enough on my plate and can't be adding to it. I wish EVERYONE past, present and future posters the very best of everything. I hope lessons can be learnt. I am sorry I couldn't bite my tongue and I am sorry if I have added further upset. Best I sign off now and keep out of things.

Totally agree with this, the treatment of Pops was one of the reasons I've always stayed a lurker rather than a poster. He was treated very badly by some people on here that quite frankly should be ashamed. I follow his blog since he left here, and its lovely to see how he has grown in the last couple of years, and now seems to get real pleasure from his life. I'm so glad for him.

srn

Ladyshopper wrote: »

Totally agree with this, the treatment of Pops was one of the reasons I've always stayed a lurker rather than a poster. He was treated very badly by some people on here that quite frankly should be ashamed. I follow his blog since he left here, and its lovely to see how he has grown in the last couple of years, and now seems to get real pleasure from his life. I'm so glad for him.

I totally agree with above and I also often read his blog and am so pleased for him for how he now enjoying life.

I also am a lurker, I enjoy the tips etc., but have never dared post because of how he was treated. I would love to see him come back on.

[Deleted User]

If I may put just one last post on this thread I've talked with the person who raised concerns in the first place and messaged me and we are both wrong in making assumptions about people who have absolutely done nothing untoward and have had no intentions of action against anyone else. Mea Culpa, I am entirely wrong, you don't need vindication but are completely and utterly vindicated of anything whatsoever. My sincere and full appology to each and every one of you who has any contact with the facebook group and my sincere appologies to all posters on this thread who have been understandably horrified at the implications. I am very, very sorry.

Rowan9

srn wrote: »

I totally agree with above and I also often read his blog and am so pleased for him for how he now enjoying life.

I also am a lurker, I enjoy the tips etc., but have never dared post because of how he was treated. I would love to see him come back on.

Another one who remembers pops. So glad to hear he is doing well

mardatha

MrsL, you would never ever hurt anybody intentionally. You're an inspiration and help to so many - and if you leave this thread then so do I.
You get your wee buns back in here and talk to us or else!
"or else" means I come down there and sit in your kitchen and eat cake for a week!

[Deleted User]

MAR I made mistake, hand on heart, drew the wrong conclusion, ME, no one else so please don't leave any thread on my behalf, or any one elses either. We have to take responsibility for the mistakes we make in life as well as the love for the good things and we are all only human. Live your life for you lovey, no one else and I'll take care of me and mine. That's the best any one of us can do isn't it?

mardatha

Damn. I quite wanted to come down there and eat cake...
I'm trying to be more money saving, have lost the plot a wee bit. Keep switching between Sainsbugs and Asda comparing prices. Am finding that going gluten free is not cheap.

cbsexec

I have followed this thread and previous ones for ever. Seen many arguments come and go. Well done Mrs LW for having the sense and courage to admit a mistake and apologise. None of us are perfect. I look forward to enjoying the new thread and seeing everyone from the old thread posting once more.

grandma247

Mardatha you can get gluten free stuff from @m@azon. If you check carefully a lot are free postage.