The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

kezlou

Nutty what awful news

Been through it ourselves, when OH contract got terminated on. Boxing day without warning we were gutted. But don't worry you will get through it.

kezlou

I will go back and read through the thread but would just like to say how you. had all have a lovely time over the winter holidays.

We have had a very traditional old style Christmas holiday. Meat from local butchers, organic local veg (cheap) For the first time ever ds2 really enjoyed himself and even ate some Xmas meat then asked for seconds!!! Myself, OH and his granddad were so overjoyed, tears in our eyes.

Personally I think its because fil didn't stay for lunch for the v first time ever on Christmas day. Instead he came for an hour caused massive up set and left. Curious how ds2 settled straight away as soon as he left. My father arrived about 20 minutes later after fil and ds2 instantly ran to him and started playing hulk smash. After dinner we played games watched films and just relaxed altogether. OH took dad home about 9ish and we all sat and watched elf.

My three nieces stayed with us for a couple of days, one is year younger than ds2 but they are very similar. So that was mental. ADHD and autism on hyperdrive. But it was brilliant and were going to have them again in the next few days. In that time we cut the Xmas tree, made decorations from the trimmings off the tree. Made decorations, crackers, food etc lit vanishes every night. Just before Christmas celebrated a traditional solstice of sharing a meal, lighting candles saying blessings and sending healing thoughts. Spoke about the what the real meanings of the tree were about and rejected by candle light. Xmas eve we had a party with my nieces played lots of games, danced and sung all finished by 6pm. By 8pm ds2 was overstimulated and couldn't handle anything. So we sat together with candles on, watched the snowman , read the Grinch and calmed him down for bed.

It was a nightmare with asd etc but we all enjoyed ourselves and filled with really good times.

ivyleaf

Kez I'm so very glad you had a happy time (apart from when FIL came!) and that DS2 did so well with his Christmas dinner :T

Morning everyone! It's a bit nippy out there today. No snow here though, just very cold.

fuddle

On way home. Left girls with MIL till Weds. Mixed feelings but I always get like that when there's distance between us. 6 hours away is pushing it but really need a rest from mammy duties and with no carer duties to do I can just be me for a few days.

My family got their hour. As expect it was difficult and cringe worthy. As expected neither mam nor sister played or even talked to the girls. I just don't see the point in meeting up if they aren't bothered about the kids but choose to ask me questions about my salary or make comment on how I'm dressed or how I need to dye my grey flecks. No surprises and I came away knowing I did the right thing and don't have to feel guilt of hiding that we were only 10 mins away. I drove away, with my family, with my head held high. I am no ones victim any more.

monnagran I'm under no illusion. Hard times will fall again and probably multiple times but when they do it will be circumstance and not because of a catastropby caused by a poor understanding of how the world actually works, ignorance connected to finances and a greed for wanting and getting. I also know that a mortgage doesn't give any more in security in real terms than renting but I can't help feel we should be trying in terms of retirement. I just don't know what to do given house prices where we live. We are conflicted and I think all we can do is save and see where life takes us.

I think all I ever want to feel is secure in every sense. That is ingrained now.

Secure isn't how I feel about driving on motorways that have verges of snow. Some real idiotic drivers about! I have 1/4 of Christmas cake by my feet. DH doesn't like it... Oh dear

[Deleted User]

Morning all, jolly chilly here this morning and I had a fence full of hungry birdies all looking hopefully at the back door, I've fed them and they are swarming over the food so I guess they are feeling the change in temperature keenly. I'm going to split the food into 2 batches in this cold and feed them again after lunch to make sure they get enough energy to last through the cold nights, seems the least I can do as they give me so much pleasure.

FUDDLE you are a star my girl, your mum and sister really are missing out by being so obnoxious to you petal, we like you just the way you are and I wouldn't change a single thing about you, just make it hurt less for you when they've been horrid!!! Enjoy your few days peace my little pal and recharge your batteries in time to start that exciting new career opportunity that you have earned yourself, Love Lyn xxx.

VJsmum

Fuddle - I am proud of you.

Enjoy your rest

savingqueen

Morning everyone

I am very proud of you too fuddle, keep holding that head high! Your girls will have a lovely time, in-laws too and you and DH some well deserved time chilling together and you will all be very happy getting back together as a family again - win, win, win and win!

This is the first Xmas ever where I have had no direct contact with wider family. Missed MIL's call and my lot didn't ring or text (though had a slightly strange email for the kids from my dad) Had a few sad moments but nothing like previous years, time really can heal and I am grateful for that.

Kez, your festive family time sounded just wonderful even with extra needs and extra kids! Hope you get a little kez time to relax as well?

Glad to have you back Mrs LW, not the same without you. Mother figure to all, birds included!

Sheila love, please get in touch with docs, just to be on the safe side. Let us know how you get on.... or there will be trouble from us lot! So glad you had a great time (and dinner!) with DH and then your son and family.

Meanmarie - please pace yourself and have some downtime.

Apologies if I have missed people out, brain is a bit fuzzy with a cold.

DS10 and I have been poorly since Boxing Day. Both been trying to carry on as normal, me with chores and DS with playing footie and at the point now where we must take it easy and thankfully we can. DS is coughing away wrapped in the family's favourite snuggly blanket on the sofa. Yesterday he had awful constipation to boot poor lad. We have been having plenty of veggies at mealtimes but DS has been overindulging in chocolate and unfortunately paid the price.

I need to do some laundry and there is a massive pile of dishes so will do them very slowly in between lots of resting. My back aches too much if I sit still all day long anyway. DH has been cooking, entertaining kids, popping out for milk etc and even bought me a cuppa and biscuits in bed yesterday morning. He is so much more chilled after a few days off work and some extra sleep, he so needed it. Cats are enjoying lots of laptime, turkey and treats from their cat stockings.

nuttyp

hi everyone, not having the best day so far. I ended up in hospital last night, I have astmah and a mixture of emotions and worries and well everything. I ended up with a major cough, then coudnt breath and then I paniced. Ended up on e nebulizer for an hour and remainded there for another 2 hours. so we arrived home at 4am this morning.


I am sooo tired. At least my cough has eased and my chest isn't hurting as much. so thankyou to the very lovely nurse and doctor who treated me and assured me that my green pj's with frogs on weren't silly!! I looked very out of place in a & e, everyone else had coats on or were dressed up.


I will update tomorrow what OH finds out, fingers crossed another job can be found x

Knit_Witch

Gentle hugs nutty and I hope you feel loads better soon

jem132

Hi all hope you have all had a nice Xmas and hope you have a good new year .
I'm sorry about your dh job NUTTY .
Welldone for not been drawn in FUDDLE .
I spent Xmas day alone after the boys had gone to there dads ,dh went to his mums I don't like them and really don't like how he's treated by them so will not pretend for the day . I enjoyed myself took the dog for a walk , watched tv .
Boxing Day was our friends party so dh got a little merry I was watching all the kids while the adults were drinking , and tidying round as I'm not drinking .
Boys have just come home so we are having our Xmas lunch today mmmmm.
I'm planing next year to save ,save and save . We go away in my to cypres there's 40 of us going , then again in November as hubby's 50 and so is his twin .so need to cut my budget right down .plus I want to save £25 a week for Xmas if possible xx