Can someone help please? :( VERY long post.

hippihaz

Hi, Just wanted to say I've recently finished 5 years at medical school. The first few yrs were similar to most degrees, with long summer holidays, and I worked as an activity leader for kids residential summer camps, so bout 6weeks full time and for the rest I mixed in some lifeguarding shifts and seeing friends etc and that worked well.
For me my parents didn't expect me to pay anything for food and board at home during the summer (obviously I paid for going out, cinema, clothes shopping) and it meant I could use most of my summer pay to supplement my maintenance loan, as medicine is a pretty hard going subject and holding down a saturday job in term time was too challenging after my 2nd year. Until my later years in uni, where my holidays became much shorter as we would be on more hospital placements, I didn't have any work or assignments for summer holidays.
Unless your daughter can afford to finance herself during the summer holiday and have the luxury of not working, then tell her to get a job!
HTHs

Debrac

I don't think it's been mentioned that the final grant/loan installment that gets paid to students about April each year is bigger than the other two installments as it is meant to support them throughout the summer months until they return in September. I think your daughter needs to be be aware of this so she doesn't blow it all by May/June like my DD did...

Brighton_belle

I'm another one who is strongly in favour of you discussing her plans for summer 2014 NOW. That way, it will be crystal clear you will not be funding her.
To leave it til next summer would be completely counter productive - it may well be too late for her to find work by then, she may well have committed to loads of fun activities and she won't have put any money to one side either.

This way, she'll have a year to make alternative
plans, along side hopefully a lot of growing up away from home.
Along side this chat will be a good time to help her start drawing up a budget to see her through the year.

Molly41

Im so glad my DD has worked through college. She has such a strong work ethic. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes OP:eek:

Bennifred

Just another confirmation that it is entirely usual for students to take on paid work during the loooooong summer holiday at the very least! We have three boys, all of whom have worked part-time from the age of 13 (paper rounds followed by supermarkets from the age of 16). They worked pretty much full-time during the summer holidays whilst in sixth-form. The older two chose not to do paid work during university term-time, but did work full-time during the summer, and part-time over Christmas and Easter. DS3 has managed his finances so that he didn't do any paid work during Christmas or Easter, but works full-time during the summer (he's just finished year 2 of a History degree). He actually does have a lot of reading/research to do which takes a fair bit of time as he is dyslexic, but he does this on top of his paid work. We haven't given any of them "pocket money" or an "allowance" since they were 16 and old enough to earn their own money - it was made clear to them that they had to cover their own additional costs once they left school, and they all accepted the fairness of that. Once graduated, they pay board to live at home. And they definitely do their share of cooking and household chores, too.

I'm sure it won't be easy to make the changes to your daughter's expectations, but for your sake and her's - be strong and stick to your guns. Do not weaken!:D

Savvy_Sue

Lou67 wrote: »

We could do a lot worse, but she is oh so lazy! Maybe I need to start listing a load of chores for her soon. Give her a 2 week or so break as she has only just finished college and her A levels, but then start. Cruel to be kind and all that.

Two weeks? very generous. :rotfl:

Seriously, if you are disposed to give her a two week break, I'd let her know NOW that that was all it was, and that since she was going to be at home doing not a lot, there will be a list of jobs for her to do appearing very very soon. Better that than a blazing row and sulks in two weeks time, personally.

Which is why I thought that whatever the situation, it needed to be made clear now, not next summer.

Voyager2002

Let her enjoy her final summer as a child.

Do gently indicate to her that things will be different next year, but I don't think there is any need for a long and heavy conversation. She is going to do lots of growing up during her first year at university, and will learn what other students regard as normal and so adjust her expectations.

Calfuray

I know you've already received a lot of advice, thought I'd stick my nose in

I've just finished my first two of four years at uni. So far, I have worked part-time for 16 hours both in holidays and semester-time, doing overtime in holidays.

This summer I am doing an 8-week paid research internship and a one-week expenses-paid internship. I have left my job now, but only because the workload in increasing and I've made sure to put savings aside for future years. I also have opportunity to do a bit of teaching and tutoring to raise funds.

Oh, and I've never had summer work. Sure you can read up on the subject etc but for 4 months! Last year when I worked I was still bored with the long summer!

ciderwithrosie_2

If she's going to Uni in September she'll need to work as much as possible this summer to build up some funds before she goes.

When my son went we had to find £750 for his halls (room deposit and first months rent), £200 for an airport taxi to get him up to London with all his stuff, £350 for a laptop and printer. I spent about another £200 kitting him out with household stuff and dry provisions. Plus he needed some spending money for the first few days before he could register and his grant was transferred to his account.

My son got a London weighted maintainance loan as well as a small grant and I used to get him a Tesco delivery once a month for about £50-60 and he still struggled to manage once rent and bills had been paid.

He worked at Tesco since he started at college when he was 16. When he was home in the summer holidays he didn't get any assignments to do so was free to work as much as he wanted. His second summer he went and stayed with his girlfriend in Cornwall but worked there too.

Thing is, she'll be bored when she comes back in the hols as her friends will probably be working and not available during the day, so she may as well work too.

Emmarillo

I'm asking this because I have a daughter who will be in this situation in a few years. How easy is it to find holiday work nowadays? I worked in a Supermarket part time during term time and full time in the holidays, but is it impossible to find things like that now? I know several graduates who are looking for work and it worries me that my daughter won't be able to work while she does her degree as we will support her all we can but it won't be much. My daughter is only in year 9 so we have a way to go, she currently babysits for neighbours which she earns good money for. We only give her £20 a month pocket money - it seems to me the more they are given the less likely they are to want to earn it themselves.