Can someone help please? :( VERY long post.

assandun

It really depends on the course that is being studied. I personally study pharmacy and the expectation is to gain as much experience as possible during holidays through placements, nearly all of which are unpaid! As I have weeks at various places here and there throughout the summer, it is nearly impossible for me to secure a paid job that will be flexible enough to give me shifts around the placements I have already gained, so therefore I don't have paid work through the summer. Working in term time is also not viable due to have contact hours that are equivalent to a full time job and when i'm not in lecture/workshops/labs, I'm doing my assignments!
I also have no financial support from my parents at all throughout the year although I don't pay rent through the summer, I do pay for everything else from my maintenance loan/grant that receive throughout the year which involves some pretty controlled budgeting! I am lucky in that I receive the full loans and grants, as uni would be impossible for me without it as my parents are just not in a position to give me any financial support. Just letting you know my experiences

neverdespairgirl

I worked very hard for my A levels, too - particularly so because I missed a large chunk of the autumn term in my Lower Sixth year because I had glandular fever. In the weeks immediately before, and during, the exam period, I was excused household activities at home. But after the exams finished, I certainly did my share - as the oldest of 4 children, there was lots to be done!

As far as uni work was concerned, I did have work to do in all the uni holidays; I did a law degree at UCL, in London. But it wasn't the sort of work that occupied the entire university summer holidays, which are long! I think I had about 80 hours' work in each of the holidays between my first and second, and second and third years. I did most of it at the start of the holidays, to get it out of the way.

My parents made it a condition of their support in general that all of their children did something in the summer holidays - lounging around for months on end looks pretty rubbish on your CV as much as anything else.

After my third year at uni, for example, I worked for the first 6 weeks, very hard indeed - I worked at a betting shop, and did all the shifts I possibly could, so ended up doing between 70 and 80 hours a week for 6 weeks. Then I went travelling in China and Mongolia for 2 months.

JimmyTheWig

Lou67 wrote: »

Not sure when to have the conversation with her though... maybe it is best left til closer to the time, and maybe it won't be necessary as she should hopefully have grown up by then.

You need to have the conversation before she goes, because she does have a choice...
1. Work during the summer and spend the wages she gets.
2. Don't work during the summer and spend nothing all summer.
3. Don't work during the summer but put aside some of her grant/loan to cover her spending through the summer.

It's her responsibility to look after herself and her own finances, but it's your responsibility (at least in part) to teach her how to do this.
Get her to do a SoA on the basis of her not working. She knows what her annual grant/loan will be. She knows what her annual rent will be. Help her estimate what she will need for food, travel and bills, etc, while at uni. Then what's left can be split over the whole year as spending money. If she thinks this is enough then she doesn't have to work over the summer.

Loz01

I cant believe she thinks she's gonna have assignments to do during the summer!!! I did a psychology degree and never had any work to do during the summer once I'd handed in my coursework and done any exams in May. The only thing I had to do is think of a dissertation topic and email my tutor before I started my third year but I never had work to do.

I worked full time during Uni holidays in a shop!

JimmyTheWig

Oh, and as to the question of course work over the summer.
I certainly didn't do any. The previous year's modules had finished and next year's modules hadn't started.

Though, saying that, I didn't do a great amount of course work in term time, either!

Lou67

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

I thought we were just talking about what would happen next summer holidays!

I agree, if she is thinking you will be funding her through Uni, giving her pocket money, paying her rent etc, then of course you need to have that talk with her NOW. Perhaps rather foolishly, I assumed that while she is away at uni, she'd be sorting her own life out as a young independent adult, like every other student I know....

Hi there. And thanks again to everyone. Your replies have been invaluable, and have really confirmed what I thought.

Just wanted to clear one thing up though: I think there has been a wee misunderstanding....

I didn't mean that we were being expected to fund her 'through' uni: she will have her maintenance grant for that. So no, we won't be paying her rent and giving her an allowance through the uni year (September 2013 to June 2014) But she says she doesn't intend to work for the 4 month break, (from June to October 2014,) and I am worried that she thinks we will re-instate her allowance for that period, and that it is OK to not do anything for 4 months! But no, we aren't paying her rent and allowance for the whole year. No way could we do that. We would barely be able to support her for the 4 month holiday! What's more, I don't see why we should...

I think we do need to have a long chat with her, and tell her that if she intends to not work next summer, she will need to budget, and save some money out of her maintenance grant, as that is for the whole year. She did say it was only for the school year, (or uni year) but I am going to say that if she intends to not work, she will HAVE to put some away (maybe a set amount before she starts uni this September.; ) or she will have no money for the 4 month summer break!.

Like I said, I am not looking forward to breaking it to her that we will NOT be providing her with her allowance from June til October next year, and that she really should be doing SOMEthing; not just sitting on her backside!

Yes she is spoilt unfortunately: our fault entirely. She is a lovely kind sweet intelligent girl, but she is lazy and has very little work ethic, but I blame myself entirely, and think it needs to be addressed. Otherwise she is going to be in deep doo-doo when real life kicks in.

Also, as many have pointed out: it would be viewed as quite a poor show, by prospective employers to have 'I sat on my backside scrounging off my folks for four months every summer' on her resume when she leaves uni! I am hoping that her life at uni and the influence of others makes her have a different attitude!

We could do a lot worse, but she is oh so lazy! Maybe I need to start listing a load of chores for her soon. Give her a 2 week or so break as she has only just finished college and her A levels, but then start. Cruel to be kind and all that.

Thank you all SO much. You have no idea how much I appreciate your comments. They have been so helpful. xxx

Rosemary7391

She might have some reading to do in the summer before her final year (for her dissertation), but not much. I've worked almost every holiday except in final year. I spent last summer doing an internship type thing - I could afford this because I'd managed to save some money over the previous 3 years! She'll get a shock if she expects to do nothing for months on end, and puts her social life before having a job - the real world doesn't quite work like that...

Loz01

Lou67 wrote: »

Also, as many have pointed out: it would be viewed as quite a poor show, by prospective employers to have 'I sat on my backside scrounging off my folks for four months every summer' on her resume when she leaves uni! I am hoping that her life at uni and the influence of others makes her have a different attitude!

Not just that but what does she plan on actually DOING from May to the middle of September? Obv she wants days out with the boyfriend and seeing her mates but 4 months of sitting about is a LONG time. And you'll only end up getting annoyed at her because she'll be lounging about the house day after day after day.

Lou67

Loz01 wrote: »

Not just that but what does she plan on actually DOING from May to the middle of September? Obv she wants days out with the boyfriend and seeing her mates but 4 months of sitting about is a LONG time. And you'll only end up getting annoyed at her because she'll be lounging about the house day after day after day.

EXACTLY!!! If she had her way, she would be sitting on the internet, on the PS3, and planning evenings out and cinema and shopping trips with buddies for the ENTIRE summer break. THAT is what she wants to do!

I think she needs to get her head firmly out of her backside and get a grip on reality! I am surprised at her, as a couple of her buddies (already at uni,) have got summer jobs lined up, and so has her boyfriend. We have literally mollycoddled her too much. I am literally NOT having her lazing around for 17/18 weeks doing NAFF all, and possibly expecting her allowance over the summer hols too!

Loz01

Lou67 wrote: »

EXACTLY!!! If she had her way, she would be sitting on the internet, on the PS3, and planning evenings out and cinema and shopping trips with buddies for the ENTIRE summer break. THAT is what she wants to do!

I think she needs to get her head firmly out of her backside and get a grip on reality! I am surprised at her, as a couple of her buddies (already at uni,) have got summer jobs lined up, and so has her boyfriend. We have literally mollycoddled her too much. I am literally NOT having her lazing around for 17/18 weeks doing NAFF all, and possibly expecting her allowance over the summer hols too!

Tell her she wont be getting the allowance and if she does want to sit around then she can save her money now or budget it out of her loan/grant from Uni that'll get her moving sharpish if her mates can have shopping days out and she cant because she's spent all the loan and you wont fund her!!