Am I too careful/overprotective?

shortdog

No, you are being sensible, and not over protective. I still hold my 7-year-olds hand when we are anywhere busy, although my 10 1/2 year old is allowed the freedom to walk somewhere in the vicinity of me (as far away as she can get away with some days lol!).

FBaby

My son was one of those kids that could be trusted to walk in front because he was naturally so wary of danger and knew very early about not crossing roads.

I don't know if he did that at 30 months old, I can't remember, but it sounds about right. I know quite a few mums used to be quite anxious on my behalf, but then realised that my son acted and behaved totally differently to theirs. He indeed always automatically stopped about 2-3 meters before reaching the road although I always called after him to stop. To be clear, I am talking about small side roads in residential streets, actually am thinking about the road leading to his sister's school, so a journey he did every day and me just a few meters back. I certainly wouldn't have let him close to busy roads or somewhere he wasn't familiar with yards in front. In the end, you go with your instincts, and mine told me that he was safe.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

At 2.5 years old, DD2 was capable of pretty much everything a kid is expected to do on the way to Nursery/school - walking, talking, listening and obeying (arguing, too). She got to trot along with her friends and yes, at times they were more than three paces away from me.

But they all came back before they got to the kerb - or would stand and wait about five foot back from it. And I could outsprint her if the '[name] STOP!' that I'd basically trained her (and the dog) to automatically freeze suddenly stopped working one day. It never did. She still responds to SIT and DOWN as well :rotfl:

(Thinking about it, she was on reins at the same time as the dog was on a harness, too. )


I found the children that never let go of their mum's hands when they weren't safely enclosed in the family 4X4 were the ones would invariably pelted out into the middle of the main road in front of the bus.

tayforth

You're not being overprotective at all. You're very sensible. Children that age have NO sense of danger, I cringe when I see them 'loose', so to speak. :eek:

Nicki

I don't know if you are too cautious or over protective, you can judge that for yourself surely?

My guess is that the other mother did her own internal risk assessment based on her perception of how busy the road was in fact and how responsible her children are, and came to the conclusion that this was an acceptable risk for HER children. Unless you have another reason to believe of course that this mother is otherwise unfit or neglectful.

My youngest is 3 and a half, and is not very road savvy so I do tend to hold his hand. My eldest was much more sensible and I can't now remember when he was allowed to be independent (he's 13 now) but it was a gradual process with him being allowed to walk short distances on certain roads without holding hands. Others may have looked on disapprovingly at my risk assessment at the time, I have no idea, but he certainly came to no harm. My middle child has special needs and depending on her mood on a given day sometimes needs her hand holding and sometimes doesn't even on the same stretch of road and in similar conditions. It's always a judgment call for the individual parent but a good parent will ensure that they learn road safety and road skills as soon as they are able surely whether this be 30 months or 40 or 50.

Dunroamin

The idea of a busy road is going to depend on whether you live in a city centre or a small village.

Person_one

notanewuser wrote: »

Not sure what the Rhoose incident has to do with it!

DD is 32 months and I don't always hold her hand when we're out and about, but I do near busy roads. If she complains, her backpack goes on.

Babies are aged in days, then weeks. After about 4 months we switch to months for children up to about 3. That's because there's a huge difference developmentally between a 22 month old and a 26 month old, a 28 month old and a 33 month old.

Once they're over about 18 months though, I don't think its necessary to refer to their age in months unless you're actually discussing development specifically.

Conversationally, you refer to your 2 and half year old, or your 2 year old, or your nearly 3 year old, or at least most of the parents I know do.

To the OP's question, as a driver I would much prefer that parents don't let toddlers wander all over the pavement. The thought of one stumbling into the road and not being able to stop in time is too awful for words.

notanewuser

Person_one wrote: »

Once they're over about 18 months though, I don't think its necessary to refer to their age in months unless you're actually discussing development specifically.

Conversationally, you refer to your 2 and half year old, or your 2 year old, or your nearly 3 year old, or at least most of the parents I know do.

Must be a welsh thing then! Actually, my relatives in Yorkshire do it as well.

sulkisu

It's South London, zone 2 so pretty central. The mother in question is not a fool and I guess she knows her children, which is why I asked the question. As a first time mother, you go instincts and my instincts say that I should hold his hand, but I could just be being OTT. He does stop when I say stop (usually) but I doubt that he is old enough to understand road safety, i.e. really understand it.

PS - I should add, that I am not criticising the other mother, I was just nervous for her children.

Alikay

You know your child, OP, and the locality where you were walking, though, so only you can answer. If you're questioning your methods though you could always review the risks every so often. FWIW my children liked holding my hand, and it was easier to chat to each other above traffic noise when we were physically close.

In defence of the other mother, though, she also knows her children and how they tend to behave. I think it's interesting that they're twins, as I've found from looking after very-close-in-age siblings that they often learn to "self-corral" and stick together, whereas a single child may get excited and dash off especially when they see other children. I guess as a foster carer I've always erred on the side of caution as even a minor accident creates too much paperwork :rotfl: