Am I too careful/overprotective?

sulkisu

DS1 is 29 months old. I was taking him to playgroup today and on the way we met another mother with her 30 month old twins. It's a relatively busy road with lots of cars parked either side, yet both of her girls were walking some distance away from her. Not a huge distance admittedly, perhaps 3 or 4 meters, but enough that I was nervous especially as one was in front and one was behind.

It's not the first time that I have seen this, very young children walking along busy roads either way ahead or a long distance behind the parent. I don't let go of DS hand, unless we are a playground or park or something like that, but definitely not walking along a busy road. It started me thinking, am I being too protective?

Pixiechic

I don't have children but I don't think that you are being overprotective in this regard.

Many times I have seen a parent walking on the pavement alongside a busy main road with the toddler wandering quite a distance behind. It worries me!

I think that you are being responsible, not overprotective

Better_Off_1983

29 and 30 month old??? You mean 2.5 year old??? It would be like me calling myself a 360 month old! LOL

I think it would be wise to hold a child's hand especially that age when walking along a busy road. Look at what happened in Wales today!! I see so many parents walking up the street and the child is miles behind.. there are people out there that will snatch a child at the drop of a hat!

My mom still grabs my hand when we cross the road and I am in my 30s!!

365days

I'm guessing that with twins road sense is drilled in earlier through necessaty. These two may of HAD to learn road safety before your child.

Remember the little boy from that programme Child of our time? with the disabled Mum. He was letting himself out of the car etc etc at an early age, at the time my heart was in my mouth, but what was the alternative?

mummyroysof3

Toddlers and sometimes children a little older can be unpredictable. They could fall into the road or run into the road and they can't be trusted to check driveways. Mine had to hold hand at that age or the side of the pushchair

Gra76

You're not being overprotective as far as I'm concerned.

I still make my 4 year old son hold my hand in carparks and walk next to me (on the side of me that's furthest from the road) when we're walking on streets. He's got very little concept of danger and although I've tried to teach him about the dangers of roads he doesn't really care.

I wouldn't trust him not to run out into the road if he were walking on his own. My eldest is 8 and he's only been allowed to walk on his own since he was maybe 5-6 years old and could demostrate that he recognised the dangers on the road.

skylight

Same as Gra76.

My 4yo has no danger awareness at all. He knows how to cross the road, always stops, looks etc. but like Gra76, my son doesn't care much either! He likes to run (or gallop!) and I cannot allow that along the pavements close to the road because he is also going through another clumsy stage and is far more likely to trip into the road than anyone snatch him away.

So no I do not think you are being over-protective! You are doing what you think is best.

marisco_2

I don't think you are being over protective by holding your child's hand when walking by a busy road. Children of the ages you mention in your post, can get totally preoccupied taking in things around them, leading them to sometimes miss dangers obvious to an adult. They can also be very unpredictable and don't always apply common sense.

As a mum you have a responsibility to ensure not only your child's safety but that of other people around them. The parent you mention would have struggled to prevent either of her girls from running into the road, had the urge to do this suddenly come over them. The possible consequences to them and road users doesn't bare thinking about.

When your son is a little older bit by bit you can start placing trust in him and let him walk beside you without holding your hand, building up to him being a little way in front when you feel he has some road sense.

notanewuser

Better_Off_1983 wrote: »

29 and 30 month old??? You mean 2.5 year old??? It would be like me calling myself a 360 month old! LOL

I think it would be wise to hold a child's hand especially that age when walking along a busy road. Look at what happened in Wales today!! I see so many parents walking up the street and the child is miles behind.. there are people out there that will snatch a child at the drop of a hat!

My mom still grabs my hand when we cross the road and I am in my 30s!!

Not sure what the Rhoose incident has to do with it!

DD is 32 months and I don't always hold her hand when we're out and about, but I do near busy roads. If she complains, her backpack goes on.

Babies are aged in days, then weeks. After about 4 months we switch to months for children up to about 3. That's because there's a huge difference developmentally between a 22 month old and a 26 month old, a 28 month old and a 33 month old.

valk_scot

Rule of thumb imho is you hold the child's hand until he or she is 100% reliable at walking beside you when told to. If you have more children with you than hands, the most reliable ones go on the outside and hold hands with the younger, who then holds hands with you. Or you use reins.

And the child (if there's only one) should walk on the inside of the pavement, not next to the kerb, just in case they make a dart for freedom straight onto the road.

I thought that was all common sense really and I had a bit of a scoff at my sister when she explained it to me...she had two kids by the time my first was born. But then again I see small kids running around all over the pavements, far too far away for the parent to do anything if a problem arises. Little kids are very fast!

Yolina

sulkisu wrote: »

It started me thinking, am I being too protective?

Nope I think you're being perfectly sensible there. Have no kids but frankly I am amazed at how many times I see young children along busy road walking (or worse, running) quite a long way from the parents. Having had to pile on the brakes recently to avoid a little one who, seemingly attracted by the lure of a nice puddle, stepped into the road in front of me, it's not particularly something I'd like to repeat too often.