Age gap between children?

bride2be2012

I'm the eldest of three girls, seven years between me and my middle sister, and 19 between me and youngest (youngest was adopted).

I got on with my middle sister up until I was 18 or so, then when I went to uni and she started secondary school and we just weren't as close anymore, and still aren't...there are times when I can quite easily go weeks without speaking to her (despite the fact she still lives at home with our parents and I'm there about once a week). We just end up irritating and winding each other up, so I keep out her way as much as possible.

My relationship with my youngest sister is more unusual (for want of a better word), I had moved away to uni when my parents adopted her, so apart from a few months here and there where I moved back to my parents, I've never actually lived with her properly!

I don't think there's ever an ideal age gap. My DH is the youngest of five, and is very close to his sister (4 years older than him) and his eldest brother (10 years older than him). Having said that, my friends who are close to their siblings tend to have a 2-4 year gap between them.

nottslass_2

23 years between the oldest and youngest - its great DS1 was old enough to pass his "nappy changing" exams,would happily stick him in the car for a drive round when he wouldn't sleep,there was no fighting over toys and oldest would babysit for the price of a takeaway,mind you I won't elaborate on which one costs me the the most £'s or gives me the most sleepless nights !!!

Seriously, I have 3 DS's who are now 26,11 and 3 and having a large age gap has worked for us, managed to enjoy (and remember) the baby hood of each without having to juggle the demands of a boisterous toddler,there's no sibling rivalry between them,no scrapping over toys and best of all they all adore each other.

The only negatives are no sunday "lay ins" (for decades) not being able to hand down clothes and trying to find fun family days out that will excite a pre teen and a toddler.

PinkPrincess83

I have 3 sisters. One is 5 years older than me, one is 2 years older than me and one is 17 years younger than me.

When we were younger I would probably have said I was closer to my eldest sister as I didnt really get on with the sister who is only 2 years older than me, we were always arguing (don't think it helped we shared a bedroom), but now we are adults we are so close (I would class her as my best friend).

And with my little sister shes great, (we go for shopping trips and girlie time occasionally, shes only 13!!) she has the best of both worlds (imo), she has sisters who are there if she ever needs us but probably feels a bit like an only child aswell as she is the only one still at home.

There is about 8 years between my husband and his brother and they get on really well.

I dont think age generally has much to do with it, they will either get on or not, it doesnt really matter about age, yes they may have less in common or be at different stages in their lives but that doesnt mean they cannot get on.

neverdespairgirl

I get on very well with all my siblings - I'm 2 and 6 years older than my sisters, and 7 years older than my brother. We all get on very well, so I'm not sure age gaps are the most important thing.

I did apparently try to drag my newborn sister off the sofa by her legs when I was 2, but I'm told that happened, I don't remember it, or life before she was born.

bylromarha

You deal with whatever you're given

The age gap will work because you'll make it work.

Enjoy watching your 7 year old become a sibling...it's great seeing them take on the responsibility.

Girlzmum

I'm actually thinking about the same at the minute - I'm due to have number 3 in just over 4 weeks, we have 2 older girls, eldest is 10 and youngest is 7. I have to say that I have loved sharing my ante natal care with my girls, I've had to have multiple scans and they have loved seeing him! Last time I had youngest with me and they were able to show her that he looked like he was blowing kisses to her, she was delighted.
My granny had 5 children in 6 years, then had a 12 year gap and had another, so there was 18 years between my aunt and uncle. He passed away very suddenly almost 4 years ago and I remember my aunt saying it didn't feel like she had lost her brother because she had no memories of him living with her or ever being brotherly towards her.

I guess I'll know how the age gap works for us before too long!

glitter_fairy

14 months between mine, its great the are very close

[Deleted User]

As others have mentioned, each situation is different and what worked for some, won't work for others. Its also dependant on other family members, siblings and your relationship with OH.

Large, medium and small gaps, there will always be pro's and con's to both.

There is 2.5 years between my brother and I, we argued all the time as children, had a brief spell of being a bit closer in our later teens, then grew apart again as adults. We just don't have anything much in common. If he needed me in whatever way I'd be there, but we just aren't close or have many common interests.

My children are 15 months apart and whilst it was hard as babies, since about 2 onwards, it has been like having twins and i'm really pleased with my age gap. Now I am on my own with them, I have found the age gap to be beneficial as they are into the same things at the same time emotionally and physically so act like a "unit". But being a boy/girl means they have individual interests too.

OP, whatever we all type here about our situations, you will have what you have. I wish you and your changing family all the best for the future and hope you enjoy every moment.