Have i made a mistake by not thinking?

Southernman

My flatmate (lodger) told me earlier he was moving out (after living with me for over 2 years). My friend has been telling me to kick him out for over a year now so she could move in. Previously she lived in a one bedroom flat alone and the bills were extortionate and she struggled to live so moved back to her mum's so travels from Midlands to Manchester each morning.

I asked her to move in two mins after i found out current flatmate was looking to leave...

BUT

i have a long term boyfriend of nearly 4 years. Thing is he lives an hour north of me (by train or car) and the commute would be horrendous each morning in rush hour.

Should i have considered him and asked first because we do plan on eventually living together but he was going to look at a job in Manchester eventually but signed a contract to stay with the company for 12 months after his course (costing £4k) was completed. This was in May.

I do feel a bit bad that i didn't even think about him.

Maybe i'm being silly but he did seem a bit miffed. My friend on the otherhand i lived with for 3 years at uni

How would you feel?

mountainofdebt

For once I'm siding with the man (and I'm a woman!)

paulineb_2

Id say, if you had wanted your bf to move in youd have asked, you didnt.

I find it hard to believe that your friend couldnt have found other options apart from living with you. And even asking you to kick your flatmate out so she could move in is a bit mean I think.

He'll get over it. But if you say you eventually want to live together you had an opportunity and you didnt ask him.

poet123

For forms sake you should at least have asked him and given him the opportunity to decide the practicalities himself.

Better_Off_1983

I would be peeved if I was the bloke also to be fair.

hayley11

Personally I think the fact that it didn't occur to you to ask him perhaps means that you don't actually want to live with him yet. So if that's the case then fair enough, you've done nothing wrong.

BitterAndTwisted

If his commute would be horrendous and he's committed to this job until next year, I'd say that moving in with you would be daft. Tell him that's why you didn't even consider the possibility

Guest101

He's perfectly in his right to be a bit miffed though. Especially if you've discussed this as an option.

Think you've got some making up to do.

warehouse

Good move IMO. Friends before relationships at your age. Enjoy life.

paulineb_2

I think friends and a good relationship should carry equal weight, no matter what the age

I do hope you can resolve this without too much hurt to your relationship

Guest101

warehouse wrote: »

Good move IMO. Friends before relationships at your age. Enjoy life.

What age?