I wish we had done this..

ska_lover

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richardvc

With the greatest respect (from a male perspective) it seems to be a female thing with seemingly lots of petty jealousies rearing their ugly heads.

I remember when I got married we got lots of negative comments from all those who were later happy to come and eat and drink at our expense !

Try not to worry about it. As you say, the day is about you two and nobody else, especially as you are funding it all (as we did).

I am sure that once the day arrives it will turn out ok and become the best of all days.

Chin up, chest out (so to speak!) and rise above it all.

Good Luck.

ska_lover

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Cuilean

Thank you, Ska Lover, for putting into words what's been in my head for ages.

I'm so fed up with everyone joking with my man about "Still time to call it off", and all those other things you mentioned. I'm fed up with my Nan constantly harping on about why I didn't find space for distant relative Great Auntie Nell, and how my sister found space at her wedding.

My man couldn't be more chilled. As a result, he has organised nothing, while I run around like a mad woman, screaming about favour bags and colour schemes. I wanted to elope, and it was his insistance that we do something that the grannies etc could come to which got us here in the first place. It's all his fault!

I'm putting it down to his being so laid back that he doesn't mind anything, whereas I'm far more invested in organising the process, so when someone (even jokingly) says something I don't like about my big day, I get minor homicidal urges which nobody around me understands.

It's your big day - you organise it as you want. They'll all have their opinion, which they're entitled to, but they're your invited guest, to your special day. As long as you enjoy it, that's all that matters

P.S. Please remind me of this moment of clarity the next time I post a rant :rotfl:

martinthebandit

Some people need to lighten up a bit.

Oh and actually other peoples opinions, views etc do count, if they mean that little to you that you can happily ignore their opinion why are you inviting them to your wedding?

SG27

martinthebandit wrote: »

Some people need to lighten up a bit.

Oh and actually other peoples opinions, views etc do count, if they mean that little to you that you can happily ignore their opinion why are you inviting them to your wedding?

I don't agree with that! It's not about making other people happy its about making yourself a happy.

ska_lover

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ska_lover

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CompBunny

You are not alone Ska Lover... people seem to have little sensitivity, respect or tact at times! A lot of it IS borne out of jealousy. A female friend of mine is the biggest critic of everyones weddings, including mine, but she apparently "never wants to get married, ever" and "doesn't believe in marriage" yet is clearly wildly jealous of my day and tries to make me feel bad that its on a budget. I've told her that I don't feel the need to impress people by pretending I live in a grand house for day and that a marriage lasts longer than one day and that anyone who doesn't want to support that need not attend

Of course, I was being a bridezilla...

Yes, eloping does sometimes sound like the best option!

From what you have said though, is it worth asking your H2B if he would be willing to take on some tasks if you give him a "to do" list? It might help take some of the pressure off you xxx

CompBunny

ska_lover wrote: »

An opinion is just that, an opinion. It means nothing to anyone else, but the person who holds that opinion. For example, if I knew someone getting married, and didn't particularly like, say, their dress, I wouldn't have such an overinflated sense of my own self importance that I would actually TELL them. We are all different and what works for me, may not work for another bride.

You have a very different idea of what a wedding day should be, than I have.

Nevertheless, we are going to stay true to ourselves...and do what we want, for our day, rather than other peoples petty jealousys and trying to overbearingly re-live their own weddings, or whatever reason people have for making sniping comments etc. It totally ruins what should be a happy period in your life, and drives a wedge in there - like I said, if I had known people were going to be like this, we would have handled things very differently indeed.

Here here! :T

ska_lover

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