Very naughty 19 month old, hitting and screaming..... Really at the end of my tether

Person_one

A friend who is a nursery nurse told me this that has really stuck with me, although I don't have children of my own:

To understand how a toddler feels when a new baby arrives, imagine that one day your husband brings home another woman, a bit younger and a bit cuter. He tells you that she's going to be his second wife and you'll be sharing his love and affection with her from now on. He assures you that he doesn't love you any less and tells you that you should love her too, and show her affection and kindness. A flock of visitors who used to fuss over you come to the house to shower her with gifts and lots of them just ignore you.

Its hard! I know parents try to prepare their older children through the pregnancy but that doesn't mean its going to be a walk in the park when the new baby comes. From what I've seen, managing the emotions of the older child when a sibling arrives is one of the biggest challenges, so don't at all beat yourself up for finding it tough. I can't even work my washing machine if I haven't had enough sleep so coping with all this with a three week old must be torture!

Best of luck with it all OP.

Racheldevon

Your local sure start children's centre is likely to run things like the Solihull 'Understanding your child's behaviour' course which is free, and a great way to get some support with the very normal behaviours you describe. Every community has access to their services, so google to find your nearest one

picklekin

fireyfirenze wrote: »

sorry to go off topic too...

someone told me about this recently that bread is bad for ducks so I read up on it a little bit including the page you posted a link to. the only thing that irks me a little is people have been feeding ducks for YEARS. I used to go when I was little, 27 years ago! surely if it was making them ill it would have been a national fact by now, and banned from parks etc?

Actually a lot of places, including some of my local parks DO have these signs. I don't think a little bit of bad food hurts anyone, I had cheesecake for dinner! However a constant diet of this is very harmful, and I don't think its a nice thing to teach children to do. Not having a go at people who didn't know but don't encourage it.

Lunar_Eclipse

Congratualtions on your latest addition!

I suspect your son's outward (naughty) behaviour is a reflection of what is going on inside, probably due to his new sibling and conflicting feelings he will have about that. I think he probably needs lots of reassurance that you love him.

To address the specific issues you raised:

I would try to avoid using the word 'no' by phrasing your requests in the positive.

When you leave the room, could you give him options such as 'I'm going to the kitchen to make lunch/toilet now etc. Would you like to come with me or stay here playing with your trains until I come back?'

It'll calm down. Crazy times.