engagement ring

Lou67

Gloomendoom wrote: »

This.

All this "You should spend two/three month's wages" is utter bullsh!t propagated by the diamond companies and high street jewellers.

Have to agree with this ^^^ I think the 'you must spend 2 or 3 months wages' on an engagement ring IS utter bulls*t, to make people feel like sh*t if they don't spend that much. If I was single and my boyfriend was planning on asking me to marry him, I would be utterly MORTIFIED if he spent three grand on a ring!

Also I have to say that I don't ever recall anyone asking me how much my ring was. What the hell has it got to do with ANYone??? My engagement ring was about £50 then, (which is about £130 now.) It is gold and silver and had a tiny diamond in it. I love it very much and always have.

This having to spend multiple thousands on an engagement ring baloney, is as out-dated as the bride's parents paying for the wedding. And it puts an equal amount of stress on people. We paid half towards our wedding and our parents paid a quarter each, and it cost £2,000 (including the honeymoon to Paris!) in the early 1990s. That would be about £3,700 now. Not bad when you consider *some* people spend 10s of 1000s!

Another thing is; people who spend a lot on something, ALWAYS have to tell you how much they spent. You don't even have to ask, and the conversation doesn't even have to be about the cost of ANYthing and they will find a way to tell you how much their item or whatever has cost.

Personally, 3 or 4 hundred is MORE than enough for an engagement ring. At the MOST.

Bella73

Cost doesn't really matter. There is no hard fast rule anymore.

I have no idea how much mine cost as hubby chose it but it doesn't matter to much what the value is, it matters what it means and it goes lovely with my plain wedding band.

I would focus more on what your fianc!e would like. Depends on if she likes bling or not and I should hope if you are proposing then that is something you really should know.

hardpressed

ska_lover wrote: »

Spend what you can afford. Since getting engaged two months ago, we have found that the engagement ring is one of those 'one up man-ship' areas

The most common question I get asked, after I show people my ring is 'how much did that cost?'. The first person to see my ring was one of my bridesmaids, who asked me this question, and I blindly told her, to which she said 'snigger, mine was xxx much more than yours'....which I thought was a bit catty, but I calmly replied 'that's nice, me and OH don't measure our love in money..'

Now when people ask, I just say 'oh dont worry, you arent expected to make a contribution' which is my way of saying 'stop being so fkin nosey'

If it was me she'd have become an ex-bridesmaid!

Guest101

Lou67 wrote: »

Have to agree with this ^^^ I think the 'you must spend 2 or 3 months wages' on an engagement ring IS utter bulls*t, to make people feel like sh*t if they don't spend that much. If I was single and my boyfriend was planning on asking me to marry him, I would be utterly MORTIFIED if he spent three grand on a ring!

Also I have to say that I don't ever recall anyone asking me how much my ring was. What the hell has it got to do with ANYone??? My engagement ring was about £50 then, (which is about £130 now.) It is gold and silver and had a tiny diamond in it. I love it very much and always have.

This having to spend multiple thousands on an engagement ring baloney, is as out-dated as the bride's parents paying for the wedding. And it puts an equal amount of stress on people. We paid half towards our wedding and our parents paid a quarter each, and it cost £2,000 (including the honeymoon to Paris!) in the early 1990s. That would be about £3,700 now. Not bad when you consider *some* people spend 10s of 1000s!

Another thing is; people who spend a lot on something, ALWAYS have to tell you how much they spent. You don't even have to ask, and the conversation doesn't even have to be about the cost of ANYthing and they will find a way to tell you how much their item or whatever has cost.

Personally, 3 or 4 hundred is MORE than enough for an engagement ring. At the MOST.

Wait, my future parents in law aren't paying for the wedding??:eek::eek:

<cancels the ferrari>

Errata

For people who genuinely want to know: rule of thumb is three month's wages. If people can afford that, fine, if they can't then they spend less, but at least they know what the ballpark looks like.

burnoutbabe

its not just "if people can afford it". We can afford it but no way would i want a 10k rock on my finger, would be a total waste of money to me. if people think it somehow signifies how much he loves his bride, thats just sad.

Rule of thumb is made up by the diamond sellers! the most biased people ever in how much you should spend on a ring!

bylromarha

Went to a hen night last night - the hens got the bride to be a massive costume jewellery sparkler to wear for the night as her and fiance decided they wanted to spend their money on other stuff, so no engagement ring at all for her. It's perfect for her.

My hubby chose the ring himself and proposed with it - think it cost 10% of 1 months then wage. It's been perfect for me.

Another friend had an engagement watch as she wasn't a ring person. It's been perfect for her.

Get the perfect thing for your lady OP without getting into debt for it.

floss2

burnoutbabe wrote: »

its not just "if people can afford it". We can afford it but no way would i want a 10k rock on my finger, would be a total waste of money to me. if people think it somehow signifies how much he loves his bride, thats just sad!

I didn't think I would end up with a ring of the value of mine; however it has doubled in value from when DH bought it. We sometimes say he should have bought 2, as it would be a better return than any savings account or ISA!!

Kynthia

I always heard it was one month's take home, not three months salary! I think the diamond industry have managed to increase it over the years. I think three months is unaffordable for most people and would lead to many having a ring they were afraid to wear in case it was lost or a lure for muggers.

Spend between what you can afford and what buys a ring your OH would like. For most of us that is definitely less than one month's take home pay.

Lou67

burnoutbabe wrote: »

its not just "if people can afford it". We can afford it but no way would i want a 10k rock on my finger, would be a total waste of money to me. if people think it somehow signifies how much he loves his bride, thats just sad.

Rule of thumb is made up by the diamond sellers! the most biased people ever in how much you should spend on a ring!

Pretty much what I think/said I feel sorry for the deluded people who seem under the impression that a man who spends a lot of money on his future wife loves her more than a man who spends little. This kind of person who values what is spent over and above the thought and meaning behind the gift are also very shallow.

Like I said, they tend to fall into the same category as people who spend £20K plus on their wedding and who *always* have to have the newest registration car, and expensive holidays abroad and name-brand clothes, and who ALWAYS have to let you now what everything cost.

I have actually known someone take out a 3 year LOAN because he needed to, to buy the engagement ring his girlfriend wanted. Now THAT is sad, and wrong, and IMO, a VERY bad start to the relationship!