Feeling like a bit of a selfish git...

dibuzz

I'm sure you will make it work, admitting that you are feeling the way you were is half the battle.

marisco_2

:T That is brilliant news. Sounds like a real joint effort. Hope it works out for you both.

Pollycat

I too hope the new business is a success and that you don't find it impinges too much on your relationship - as you originally feared it would.

NoGoodNamesLeft

You sound like a supportive partner which is such an asset for a work-loving woman. Believe me, I know!

My partner is a bit like you. He doesn't enjoy working and misses us having time together when I am studying or working (or away for 5 weeks, as I am at the moment). I, on the other hand love having a lot to do, but I really hate the day to day cooking, cleaning and general domestic life.

Our solution is for me to work and for him to stay at home and look after the house while possibly doing part time or voluntary work from home. It gives us more time together when I am home as all the little jobs are taken care of. We don't have much money, but we manage and are very happy with the arrangement and he seems to enjoy being a "kept man".

meritaten

Have you discussed this with her? Does she know you feel this way?
can you both set aside 'You' time? or does work come first last and always? because unless you get this sorted out now - it may become a problem, not only for you but for her. its very easy to get obsessed with a business to the exclusion of 'normal' life - and it isn't healthy. Which I get the feeling you are worried about. so, NO, I don't think you are selfish at all.

Tropez

meritaten wrote: »

Have you discussed this with her? Does she know you feel this way?
can you both set aside 'You' time? or does work come first last and always? because unless you get this sorted out now - it may become a problem, not only for you but for her. its very easy to get obsessed with a business to the exclusion of 'normal' life - and it isn't healthy. Which I get the feeling you are worried about. so, NO, I don't think you are selfish at all.

Yeah, we've discussed how to make things work for both of us. Some of it is a bit "wait and see" at the moment, and I do accept that for the next few weeks she'll have quite a lot on her plate but I think it is looking like it should work out okay.

Gavin83

What you do depends on what you want from the relationship.

I admire driven people, I really do but I couldn't be in a relationship with one. I'm not particularly driven in terms of career, I earn a good wage and can afford several luxuries but my work/life balance is good. I'd never want to be in a job which took over my life even if I was promised a massively increased salary. My girlfriend has the same attitude.

If my girlfriend wanted to take on a business which meant I barely ever saw her I'd probably end the relationship to be honest. A relationship that only allows you to see them for a few hours a week isn't a relationship IMO. Life is too short, I'd find someone who did want to spend time with me.

Of course it's your life, it just depends on if you can live having a part time partner.

Tropez

Gavin83 wrote: »

What you do depends on what you want from the relationship.

I admire driven people, I really do but I couldn't be in a relationship with one. I'm not particularly driven in terms of career, I earn a good wage and can afford several luxuries but my work/life balance is good. I'd never want to be in a job which took over my life even if I was promised a massively increased salary. My girlfriend has the same attitude.

If my girlfriend wanted to take on a business which meant I barely ever saw her I'd probably end the relationship to be honest. A relationship that only allows you to see them for a few hours a week isn't a relationship IMO. Life is too short, I'd find someone who did want to spend time with me.

Of course it's your life, it just depends on if you can live having a part time partner.

I've been with her for over six years so I'm inclined to look for solutions, which we have been doing and while I will have to wait and see how effective the solutions are, the situation is more comfortable than it was a month ago when I started this thread.

There will still be times when work gets in the way, which it always has given our jobs. When we first met she was still working as a nurse, so had all sorts of inconvenient shifts to work and it wasn't that long into our relationship before I had to spend six months in the US but I think both those things were positives as we both did our best to make it work - it gave us a nice, solid foundation.

Of course, I'd like to spend as much time as possible with her but I'm happy just to maximise when I can spend time with her and make sure we spend quality time together.

For the next few weeks she's going to be very busy but after that she will have things in place to deal with the extra workload which should result in only a small amount of increased time out of the house. I've jiggled a few things with my work to better suit the times when she's going to be here so the time either of us are occupied with work outside of our normal hours should be kept to a minimum.