Advice re. split from ex with 11 week old baby

MarilynMonroe_2

I would say hold fire on doing anything. Youve only had a baby less than 3 months ago, and I've been were you are and i made the mistake of ending it knowing NOW in hindsight that babies bring alot of stress and change us but it takes time to get back on track.
Give it more time, see if you can work things out. Life is so different to how you imagine it would be, things get magnified 1000% and money issues is one of them.
Honestly, all I am saying is dont make any desicians in haste cos you, like me, might live to regret them x

Mojisola

fluffnutter wrote: »

I know this isn't the issue but your church sounds intractable and unhelpful. I'm having my son baptised at the end of this month and he's not having any godparents. This is perfectly acceptable. I could have chosen none, or 56. Our choice entirely, although 56 might have meant it was a bit crowded round the font

Seriously, what church dictates this sort of thing??

As there's a reference to not going to Mass, I assumed they were Roman Catholics. If so, the rules are laid down by Rome. Individual priests have to abide by the church laws.

Person_one

tayforth wrote: »

What was in the email to his ex?

I too thought the inappropriate e-mail to an ex when she was 8 months pregnant was probably a far bigger issue than the Godparent one!

daisiegg

Mojisola wrote: »

As there's a reference to not going to Mass, I assumed they were Roman Catholics. If so, the rules are laid down by Rome. Individual priests have to abide by the church laws.

I was baptised Catholic and have three godparents...

fluffnutter

Mojisola wrote: »

As there's a reference to not going to Mass, I assumed they were Roman Catholics.

Perhaps, but I call my services mass too. It's a high Anglican term, not just a Roman Catholic one.

But that aside, my brother and his wife are Catholic and I don't recall them having difficulties with choosing how many godparents they wanted. I don't think it's the case that Rome necessarily dictates 'church law' else why are condoms OK in some countries, yet not in others? Why is abortion legal in some countries yet not in others, etc. etc? Like everything, it's interpretative.

Anyway, we're getting a bit OT. Sorry, OP.

elsien

So you refused to contemplate another godmother because you wanted your sister, you cancel the christening presumably without discussing it with him first, you talk about how often you should "let" him see the baby......
sounds to me he's not the only one struggling with communication and compromise.

Racheldevon

You may find your local sure start children's centre a useful source of support and information - they provide free services to those with under 5s including advice on separation/links to specialist services etc Have a look on google to find your nearest one. Often freen counselling is available there too

pigpen

All of my children have 4 godparents.. you can have as many or as few as you like! Find a different church!

Person_one

pigpen wrote: »

All of my children have 4 godparents.. you can have as many or as few as you like! Find a different church!

I very much doubt that the godparent thing is the real crux of the issue.

Couples who are deeply in love and have newborn babies don't tend to split up over such trivial issues.

Figgerty

Skinto123 wrote: »

Our church does not allow two godmothers. So we were having major godparent issues too.... we could not have gone ahead with christening... i know he was annoyed that I went and cancelled it but I felt i had no choice.

I was at a christening at the weekend where the child had six godparents - three men and three women. I was once a godparent of four. Perhaps you need to find another church.

As to your relationship, it's amazing how many men are jealous of the attention of their unborn and newly born babies. I know of two couples who split up shortly after their first baby was born. The husband has to take a back seat and the baby takes priority. Maybe if you keep regular contact with the father your relationship will improve and you will be able to talk about things other than money.