Paperwork everywhere at parents' house

neverdespairgirl

Mattygroves2 wrote: »

You could try subtle hints or say you've been reading stories on forums about how hard it is to sort things out when people die.

You think that's subtle?!

Any less subtle, and you'd get the undertaker round with his tape measure.

OP - their house, their papers, their problem. Unless they are completely losing their marbles, I think they would be very offended if you raised it.

Brighton_belle

I think a gentle offer of help "only if they want any" is very thoughtful. Many people get very overwhelmed by the paper mountain we all seem to have pouring into our homes these days.
If they say no, then you know you can leave it.

You mention a lot of Santander papers: Santander send so much stuff and it's taken us ages to work out what we do and don't need to keep.

Pixiechic

I'm quite chaotic with paperwork, from an outside perspective. That doesn't mean that when I hit old age that I want someone poking round my stuff making it an issue! If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless they see it as a cause of concern and request your help then fine. If not, then it really isn't your place in my opinion.

I would never, ever dream of telling or advising someone in old age that they need to sort their paperwork out because its going to be a hassle when they die :eek: They are not dead yet, and it's very offensive.

marisco_2

Sounds like organised chaos to me. They probably know exactly where everything is though and are on top of it all. If you aren't that way and like everything stored away neatly then it can be hard to see how it can work for them. I would leave them to it if I was you, they have done okay for themselves up till now haven't they.

pinkladyof66

i sympathise here as my father 75 has paperwork everywhere too whenever there is financial things or anything to sort out we have to go hunting for paperwork takes days to find, even though I have offered him assistance to have a filing system he isnt interested. My mother when she was alive did all the paperwork so having to start doing it at 65 came as a bit of shock to my dad.

podperson

Personally I would leave them to it. I have piles of paperwork scattered around but it's my papers in my house and tbh I would be quite annoyed if someone offered to 'sort it out' for me as they would be implying that I'm incapable of sorting it myself.

My bills are all paid on time and anything that needs sorting is sorted. Therefore my 'system' works for me and just because someone else may organise things in a more obvious way doesn't mean they have to be right and I'm wrong. I think there's a tendency in those who like everything to be perfectly organised, tidied and filed away to think that anyone who doesn't do the same must be struggling. We're not

Goldiegirl

Unless you feel this is heralding the onset of dementia and they have other symptoms of dementia, I think they should be left to manage their affairs as they feel fit.

londoner01

I'm also really messy with my paperwork although it is fairly confined, but I would never mind a jokey comment! I know I'm messy! If I think I'm fine with it and it's my "organised mess" then I'd answer not to worry; other times I could actually do with a hand so I may say yes to a offer for help.

Something like "We could recycle some of these?" is not offensive and you're not suggesting that you think they are messy, that you're worried they're hoarders or that they have dementia or that they're about to die.

I know people should be free to live their life but it's family, you can afford a comment or two.

This_Year

I have an IN tray and a PENDING tray. They're both about a foot high. Waiting for a rainy day when I'm that bored that I would file it away.

I just know the school uniform list in in there somewhere for when DD went to secondary school. She left school last year.

pigpen

I bin the lot.. no sneaky little piles to sort through etc.. and I STILL have paperwork everywhere.. the worst being the mountain on the radiator behind my chair.. school letters, hospital letters and coupons mainly.

My children are worse! My oldest is a pig and the next one down isn't a great deal better she just got better at hiding it when her son started crawling!

I've offered to help my mother with hers.. her mountain has been there so long I think it has composted at the bottom! Apparently she is 'going to get round to it' ... 13 years later it is taking over the world.. but her house her mess and I don't have to look at it.

I'd offer once and if they say no say well if you ever do I'm willing to help and leave it alone.