Executor Duties

SlimmingSusan

dzug1 wrote: »

If you are executor you have to have the will - the original not a copy. You can't do your job without it.

If people are trying to prevent you having even a copy then walk away from the job. Leave it to the solicitor making it clear his fees will come from the estate - not you.


You don't have to be executor if you don't want to be

I DO WANT TO BE

I'm coming across wrong

This is not about money- an only child I knew that the everything went to each other- why would I question that?

It is about my mother taking control all my life, signing cheques, moving money over the years of dementia, from joint accounts.It was the way she said it. It must be her thinking for her to question it.

At the end of the day it's all going back to her, but the way she has treated me since dad went into dementia 7 years ago- she hates me.

I don't care. I'm seeking counselling for it

My dad will be gone by friday.I need to know that I'm doing the right thing then may walk away from the family dynamics left

SlimmingSusan

If the solicitor holding the will looks into this for me- who will pay? will it come from the estate?

Just got my ESA letter for medical on 11th June, what the hell- am actually getting distraut

dzug1

SlimmingSusan wrote: »

If the solicitor holding the will looks into this for me- who will pay? will it come from the estate?

Just got my ESA letter for medical on 11th June, what the hell- am actually getting distraut

If you are the executor then the estate pays

getmore4less

After checking the will really does give it ll to mum, you can remain executor and have the solicitor do the leg work and deal with your mum, which could become difficult for you if she has a habit of contol.

fluffymuffy

getmore4less wrote: »

After checking the will really does give it ll to mum, you can remain executor ....

Do you mean that if the OP were to inherit anything then they couldn't be the executor?

dzug1

fluffymuffy wrote: »

Do you mean that if the OP were to inherit anything then they couldn't be the executor?

That isn't true - it's only witnesses/spouses of witnesses that can't inherit.

I think he means that she can instruct the solicitor to do all the work for her whilst remaining nominally executor. True whether she benefits or not. If the estate is solvent it pays.

allat

You probably have the advice that you need by now. My father died last year and we did the probate ourselves. My understanding is that it is the person who instructs the funeral director who pays the bill. Some wills but not all may have funeral instructions within them and many do not. Some say as a standard that the deceased has left a separate letter regarding their funeral wishes (which may or may not be found). As an executor your role is to execute the Will so you need to see a signed copy of it or the original. Some estates need Grant of Probate which involves the executor swearing an oath before executing the will.

I think you would be wise to see the Will and then decide what you want to do. If there is very little money and it is all going to your mother anyway you could either get the solicitor to deal with it (find out what his charges are) or do the probate yourself to save money. Alternatively you could relinquish your executorship..if both/all executors relinquish executorship another relative will need to step in and this could be your mum aided by the solicitor. There is no point in getting stressed about it as you don't have to do it and when you think of everything else on your plate you may not want to do it.

I had a long and painful tussle with my family over the executorships and the Will - in the end several months later they all got back in their prams and left it to me to sort out. My mother and sister are going to be power reserved. You could ask your solicitor if you could be power reserved and whether your mother could be appointed as executor. If your mother is controlling this could be a good plan...she can sort it all out and see if she comes to you later for assistance!

It's an upsetting time for you and try and make it easy for yourself.

Better_Days

If one family member, in this case your Mum, is being difficult it is worth considering getting a solicitor involved.

I had problems when my Dad passed away with his second wife. Basically she has a very tenuous link with reality and at one point accused the solicitors of trying to cheat her children. She refused to tell anyone where the children were and made abusive phone calls to me.

Co-op do a fixed rate probate service (so you don't have to worry about every letter and phone call), and although it was stressful, having a buffer between me and Dad's second wife helped enormously.

Sorting out the finances can be time consuming and upsetting. I can totally understand your wish to do this for your Dad, but be kind to yourself too, this will be a really hard time and if a solicitor can take some of the stress then do consider the option.

John_Pierpoint

It is very difficult for some parents to accept that their children are now grown up and responsible and it is time for them to hold the reigns.

Who registered the death and obtained the half a dozen certified copies of the death certificate ?

If you are the executor, you became the executor at the time of death, You are entitled to the will it is yours and your responsibility; sure the solicitor is hoping to get in on the act and be paid for holding your hand.

Step ione is to get the original will and while you are at it get the solicitor to certify some copies. Then sit down in the library and CAREFULLY read the will together with a suitable book that explains it.

If you are not then crystal clear on what it tells you to do, then go back to the solicitor for advice and then double check on here.

(In my case I realised that the firm of solicitors had some 10 years ago written a will that turned out to be partially intestate - it told me to distribute the residuary amongst people, some of whom had died. Without telling me what to do in this situation. Needless to say I found a more competent firm to advise on advise on the situation).

I think there is an extra process for cremation based on the danger that it is totally final (the body cannot be dug up again), but life is too short to engender a family split over such a decision..

SlimmingSusan

Can't reply to all, but do appreciate your replies. My concentration is 3 seconds, I cannot sit still.

Dad was cremated on Friday. I had rung solicitor who held his will, expressed my concerns, but it got to the stage that I really didn't want to know.

No point me moaning about mother on here, but she is very difficult.
Am lost today, totally numb. I lived on adrenaline for the last couple of weeks.

Will be ringing solicitor tomorrow, then probably back here for advice. And thanks all so much.