What is the importance of father in our family?

Moggins_2

Absolute rubbish that the father is head of the family. My own dad rarely bothered to see me after the age of about 8, my mum and grandparents did everything for me. Nowadays I see him more often but feel he has no say in what I do and I don't really value his opinion as he doesn't know me well enough. My husband though is a brilliant father and the breadwinner however I still wouldn't call him head of the family we are equals I keep the house going, take care of our son all day and organise everything

System

When i was a little girl my Father was joint head of our family though Mom had the main say. Mom tended to make the most of the decisions (until she went too far and then he'd kick up a fuss).

The Father in my family is the head of the family full stop (or he acts like he is). He is the breadwinner and pays the bills and tends to make most of the decisions (until he goes too far then i'll kick up a fuss).

Seems like i'm more like my Dad than i thought.:)

74jax

Do mean Father in a religious sense? Ie what importance is religion in our families?

My Dad was never refered to as the head of the family, so I can't really comment.

In my family with my DD and OH, we don't have a 'head' of family either.

valk_scot

My OH is the breadwinner but if anyone is the "head" of the family it's me. I do all the day to day running of the house, the financial stuff, the looking after of the kids, the DIY etc. He's the vague professorial type, he couldn't organise his way out a paper bag and can barely be depended on to remember what day of the week it is, let alone anything important like paying a bill.

On the other hand we do discuss and share all the really important decisions. Who gets the casting vote if we disagree? Got to say it's almost always me, I'm usually more up to speed on the whys and wherefores of doing something, he usually wants whatever is easier. He'll mostly have forgotten about it by the next day anyway and look slightly flummoxed when whatever it is happens. He is academically brilliant and he loves us all dearly, (as do we back) but he's got no common sense at all I'm afraid. Head of our house? Hohoho.....

joeblack066

My husband ran out on me when our 3 children were very small.
My 2nd husband became a violent bully who chose alcohol over his family.
Needless to say I place no importance on either of them as part of my immediate family. I have raised my children alone, and have always worked full time. I have, however, always recognised and valued the relationships that my children have needed with their father, and endured that this is continued, often at my own emotional expense. That is all.

marisco_2

My dad never saw himself as 'head of the family'. He and my mum viewed and treated each other as equals. They always pulled together as a team. When my siblings and I were growing up my parents were careful to show us a united front and gave us consistent messages. This avoided us thinking we could try our luck and play one off against the other.

I respected the dynamics of their marriage. They both worked very hard at their respective careers. Chores at home were shared out between them, though with some of those they played to their strengths, which I think is fair enough. I remember spending many happy evenings watching them cook together and they invested much of their time with us.

I think the concept of a man being the head of a family is old fashioned. Strong, healthy partnerships are about recognising that each person in a couple contributes as much as the other to a relationship to make it work between them.

Bangton

I never thought of my dad as head of our family. He worked hard though, bl00dy hard..2 jobs so we could have all we needed. On the other side my mum didn't work and so was the one who paid the bills, helped my dad with his books, cleaned, took us to school..everything a house mum would do really.

I remember thinking when I was younger that my mum had it tough. She once had vertigo and collapsed when she got out of bed. Since dad was at work though she HAD to keep going for the sake of her 4 children. I realised then that my mum never ever got a day off and I used to try and help her. Honestly, hand on heart I used to think please don't let me have to do all that when I'm older.

Now I am older though, I'm definately my dad's daughter. I regularly work 10 - 12 hours a day doing my normal job as an auditor and then doing overtime in another area of the business. People ask me why I do it but truth is I like the earning potential! Of course this has made me realise how hard my dad worked. Sadly, he died nearly 6 years ago just as he was getting to an age he could enjoy the fruits of his labour but true to his style all his life he was able to leave my mum comfortable and help us children out with our homes.

For all those reasons I could never say who the head was as I have the utmost respect for both my parents.

When my baby comes in September I'm pleased to know my partner has the attitude that he belongs to both of us..thus we both do our best by him and work as a team. We will both work once my maternity is over and I'd be peed off if just because he was the bloke he was considered 'head of the house'.

There are plenty of people whose father's leave and never see them or who don't contribute much. I think some women have to be incredibly strong and single handedly raise their children & I hate how as a society there are still some people hold this archaic view that fathers are the head of the household.

fluffymuffy

sachishah wrote: »

As, we know we all called our father the head of the family.

Did we? Not here.

That's a creepy idea.

Are there really people who think men are automatically in charge because they have a pen1s?

I don't think that's been a view held by many since the 1960s, maybe lingering on into the 1970s in some backward areas.

DUTR

fluffymuffy wrote: »

Did we? Not here.

That's a creepy idea.

Are there really people who think men are automatically in charge because they have a pen1s?

I don't think that's been a view held by many since the 1960s, maybe lingering on into the 1970s in some backward areas.

We or I?
Don't see it as creepy, I don't think anybody thinks it's to do with genetals.
You only have to look around in life and the post on the boards and it is quickly observed that it is ideal to have a bloke about, all that said, before the thread goes off onto the exceptions rather than the 'rules' I'm interested in the responses to the OP as they do make good reading so far.

paulineb_2

Ive not seen my dad since I was 4. His choice. My brother has I think seen his dad once, again his dads choice.

I dont see anyone as head of the family. My mum did a fantastic job of bringing us up on her own, I respect her and shes always been there for the pair of us

I do get what the poster is saying about men being automatically seen as the head of the house, its probably only been in the last 50 or 60 years that women actually do more, its really not that long ago since women couldnt even vote.

I wouldnt say that Im a raging feminist but I would think if I lived with someone I would have an equal say in things, I dont think men should be seen as automatic heads of house just because they are male

We all have our own strong points and weaknesses and thats what people should build on, you make the decisions based on your own expertise, personality etc.