Lending money to someone who is a bad risk-but family

Smashing

hollydays wrote: »

Also,i dont feel its right to ask someone what they want the money for

Well, I don't think it's right to call someone up out of the for the sole reason of asking for money, so I shouldn't worry too much about manners with this one.

I don't even know this woman, but I can tell you now, this will end in tears an empty wallet.

hollydays

I talked it through briefly with my OH,he said,"what if she really needed the money,or something bad happened to her", and so i did think "I am giving her one chance"-and I know this is a money saving site,but its not just about money, but hoping that she will not take advantage,(I am going by a lot of hearsay) am going to explain to her tonight exactly WHY i need the money back.I think my OH is pretty resigned to losing it.

Smashing

I agree it's not just about the money, but I have to wonder why she is asking you rather than someone closer - just be careful you're not being taken advantage of.

Dare I ask how much she is wanting to borrow?

hollydays

pm you............

arushofblood

One year down the line and I'm still waiting on a re-payment of £750 from my 'friend'. All I get is threats to myself and my kids if I dare to ask for even a fiver....

.... I wouldn't do it hollydays.

Angel777

I was asked by a member of the family, well she is not anymore technically as she WAS married to my cousin.

I have not seen her for about 3 years!

Speak to her on the phone maybe x1 or x2 every six months if that.

To be honest i was shoked when she texted me asking for the money, she then rang when i didnt get back to her.

I decided that if i did lend it to her it would be such a hassle trying to get it back, she is into designer clothes, holidays but only works part time. Each to their own but she is 12 years older than me!

I was honest and told her i was paying off a holiday that i am going on, my car needs servicing and a new tyre and i am trying to save for my wedding.

I personally would not give the money as i think it will be hard getting it back and also why give it to her when you can spend it on you and your kids?

Just sounds like hassle for you...

ailuro2

No surer way to lose a family member than to lend them money.

If, however, aforementioned family member is an alcoholic then she will be back pestering you for more before long.It's just the way it is- their condition will make them like that.

By giving her money you are fuelling her lifestyle/addiction.And asking for trouble with your OH when she starts pestering you for more.

I'd ring her today and explain the car is in the garage and you need the money for that, so sorry, you can't help her out. There is no way you can't pay the garage so she will just have to accept your story.;)

hollydays

Well ,she didnt ring me last night like she said she would.

Elsiesgirl

I know you've already agreed to lend her the money but I would change my mind if I were you. Reasons have all been said by others. You need the money for your children. If you lend it to her you won't get it back.

pinkshoes

If she wants you to lend her the money that badly, she'd explain EXACTLY what it was for, and maybe you should consider paying this "THING" rather than giving her the cash. Don't forget to make her sign something saying she's borrowed the money, and have it written down how she intends to pay you back and WHEN. I know this sounds a little OTT, but if she's not willing to sign it, then she obviously doesn't want/need the money that badly.

Personally, I wouldn't lend it.